to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

You have no idea what his issues are so YABU to judge whether he is well enough to carry on or not

I think based on the fact he’s ill yet has still offered 4 weeks notice plus informal assistance free of charge, yes YABU.

Obviously frustrating but it's very kind of him to be offering to carry on for a while and do so much for free.

You have no idea what chronic illness or hidden disability he may have been wrestling with for years, or what diagnosis he has just received.

Teachers are people with real lives, not service droids.

He could have cancer and be starting chemotherapy.

He might have fibro.

Depression.

He could have all kinds of reasons and is just finishing up

He could even have long Covid

Chemo coming up?

Obviously his health problem isn't a sudden acute one like flu, but something longer term. He may have been living with a condition for years and too much work is taking its toll, so he's scaling back. He's trying to be nice and give you a month's notice.
Yabu.

Wow, 4 weeks notice, free check ins and you're still complaining?

You sound like a great employer

Ill-health or not, he’s giving you 4 weeks notice...

I shouldn't think he's taken the decision lightly.

You're definitely being unreasonable. He's given you adequate notice, and offered free on-going support.

Yes it is inconvenient to have to find another tutor, but his circumstances must have changed and he's informed you.

Sounds like he's doing the best that he can in very difficult circumstances.
I had to send many such emails as my kidneys gradually deteriorated causing gradually increasing fatigue.

You're being unbelievably unreasonable. You don't own him! He has given you reasonable notice and offered to check in with your dd free of charge. I think you should be bloody grateful!

Don't be unreasonable op. It's not a good look.

Even if he isn't actually ill (and either way, it's none of your business), he has given you plenty of notice and offered free, ongoing support. You don't own him.

What an awful, entitled attitude.

Are you for real?

I get this is frustrating but Jesus, he’s a human, not a robot beholden to you, even if you do pay him sometimes it’s just not all about you.

You’re being a dick, you did ask.

Maybe he is due to start a course of gruelling therapy or have a major operation. Perhaps he's absolutely knackered with all this tutoring on top of another job. YABU to be annoyed though, one persons wish to attend a 'good' university (I assume this is what the tutor is for) does not trump someone else's right to good health.

Given the circumstances we are living under I thing YABU. I would not make him feel guilty for being in ill health. Find another tutor I'm sure there are plenty out there.

@Pillowcase123

Wow, 4 weeks notice, free check ins and you're still complaining?

You sound like a great employer

He will be freelance. She's not his employer. He's I'm entitled to pick and choose when, where and with whom he chooses at any given time.

I'm actually wondering if he wants out because you're such an unreasonable employer. Maybe your expectations are damaging to his mental health?

And yes. You are being a dick. Since you asked.

I think you're being unreasonable to be annoyed... he might be having radiotherapy or chemotherapy that will lay him low for a large chunk of each moth and he's still offering some support.
Unless you know his health situation then you shouldn't be annoyed. Tutors, particularly at this time, are not going to let students down lightly.

Oh man really?

YABU, the world does not revolve around you and your DD. The tutor has given plenty of notice, is putting themselves out to teach some more sessions and has offered free check ins! I'm baffled that you're annoyed by what is more than a reasonable offer! You have no idea what the tutors going through, and the fact they've offered to continue working with your DD and not just drop her in it is lovely.

Maybe a box of chocolates and a thank you card would be more appropriate than an arsey Email

Of course YABU and a CF

People can quit jobs for any reason. You know nothing about his health issues. He’s bending over backwards to help you and DD despite his health problems and you have the nerve to be annoyed?

If this is a reverse then YABU for posting a reverse, nobody likes them, be a grown up and just post as yourself