to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

Sounds like he's doing the best he can ffs

Wow OP. If he would have quit instantly you'd be moaning but an ill man (you have no idea the circumstances) offers to do more and you're not happy .

Do not ask him for a replacement. Not unless you want to be even more u than you already are.

Have read your update. Well done.

Fair enough op. You've taken it on the chin! Onwards and upwards.

@user713467

ok no I accept I am being a dick with 100% BU

It's just the email came the same day a levels were announced to be cancelled and just UGH. I accept that we can probably find someone else who is just as good, I'm just disappointed he couldn't see her until the end of year 13 and felt like there was an unspoken commitment on that (he started mid year 12).

Will send nice email and get little thank you gift.

Well done OP x

1058 votes ALL YABU

that should tell you all you need to know.

Glad you've realised you were being a total twat

Only read your posts, not the whole thread, so I'll assume you've been filled in on various health issues that mean he can struggle through for a month to help you out/give you notice, but can't cope for longer than that.

Even if he didn't have health issues, he's at no obligation to tutor your DD until you decide to end it.

Anyway, you've admitted to being a dick so 🍷 hope DD can sort out 'what next' re her A levels.

You don't own this guy. He can quite for any reason he wants, is giving you notice and is offering a free service after! He sounds utterly decent

*quit

Wow !!!
RUN TUTOR RUN !!!

Well done for recognising you were flawed in your reaction.

I hope you manage to find another good tutor for DD.

Good outcome.

Nothing wrong in asking him if he could recommend someone, as he was so great.

Wow, he sounds lovely and very dedicated.

YABVU and unpleasant.

To be honest I’m shocked by your post, you are being very unreasonable and selfish! Bloody hell!

email sent - thanking him hugely, saying how much confidence DD has gained since working with him and how grateful we are. Added I'm really sorry to hear about his health issues (and honestly I am, was just being a selfish ass in the moment!) and if he ever wanted to do a no commitment short notice class for some extra money down the line to just give DD a shout

God for you, @user713467 You're not being such an ass after all.

It takes a big person to admit they've made an error. You're now not sounding dickish at all!

Bt it's a lesson learned about the health issues - a dear friend of mine is dying - slowly - and still working when & how he can. He has to pull out of things because his body is failing him. Yet to look at him casually, he looks really well & healthy. You just never know ...

Wow you sound horrible. Someone tells you they can't do something for you due to their ill health and all you can think of is how annoying it is for you? I'm actually shocked.

@Sway19

This post is vile. You have literally no idea what his issues are. He could have ca car and be starting treatment for all you know. You sound an awful person

Totally inappropriate but this made me LOL: "He could have ca car.." Maybe he should take a corvid test

Cut the OP some slack now, she has accepted that she was being unreasonable and she was actually very gracious about it. No need for any further pile-on.

OP, kudos to you for taking the feedback on board without getting defensive.

Poor guy. He is unwell, apologetic and very generous in offering free ongoing support and you are annoyed? I think yabvu!

@Candyfloss99

Wow you sound horrible. Someone tells you they can't do something for you due to their ill health and all you can think of is how annoying it is for you? I'm actually shocked.

It's typical of many parents these days unfortunately. They and their children are entitled to whatever they want and they throw their toys out of the pram being 'disappointed' when something doesn't go their way. No one else matters to them.

Fortunately the OP seems to have realised her original reaction was very wrong and has now acted in a much more reasonable way.

OP I don't think the tutor would mind you asking him for recommendations, it would show that you value his opinion.

@billy1966

Good outcome.

Nothing wrong in asking him if he could recommend someone, as he was so great.

There is if he's dying or being forced out of a job he cant do. Insensitive to say the least

You can't possibly be serious YABVVVU.

This has to be a windup, Noone can be this self-involved

What about some compassion.
You can always find another tutor.

He may not get a second chance with his health.
You do pay him but you dont own his life.

There is if he's dying or being forced out of a job he cant do. Insensitive to say the least.

I don’t agree at all, it’s a reasonable question. Many tutors know other tutors. He can say no or just ignore the request.