to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

@PurpleFlower1983

YABU, he is being more than reasonable. Is this a reverse?

No not a reverse and slightly embarrassed it comes across as that U

I can be selfish when it comes to me and the people close to me which has definitely coloured how I felt about this! Doesn't need to be a big deal but glad this whole thread gave my head a wobble. Glad it was before I replied :)

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes?

Yes.

You sound like a really entitled dick.

He doesn't have to tell you what his health issues are (maybe he's dying? maybe he is deeply depressed?) and he is being extraordinarily generous in offering some future revision sessions for free.

Write him a lovely email thanking him, and telling him what a difference he's made. Maybe ask if he can recommend a colleague.

But don't you dare be annoyed with him.

He's resigned, offered to work 4 weeks notice and continue to do some informal work for free?

YABVU

Good luck to your DD OP.

I've never seen such a conclusive vote!!

How embarrassing

Thanks Op for coming back. Its not often someone returns to agree they might have been unreasonable!
As an aside (Im not going to say whether you are or not as youve had plenty of feedback) but on my local fb page there are often A level or degree students offereing tutoring. There might be gap year students who may be able to do this (esp this year) so don't give up hope of finding another tutor

Please wish the poor man well and let's hope it's nothing too serious.

He's doing you a favour with the 4 weeks notice and trying to be considerate
He could have stopped.with no notice. The free check ins is kind too.

Yabu- the world doesn’t revolve around you and your precious offspring. He has given you notice, you have no idea what he’s dealing with in his personal life. Show some compassion!

Can he not do Skype sessions?

The man could have a terminal illness. You're not just being a dick, you're being a massive dick with bells on.

Be thankful you had a good one for any period of time. Good maths tutors are like honest, competent politicians - very rare.

Hallelujah! An AIBU thread with a genuine AIBU question, a conclusive answer, and an OP who accepts it instead of getting all defensive because they were really just seeking validation. It's a new year's miracle!

You’re a dickhead. They’ve probably give you 4 weeks notice so you can find someone else!! Jesus christ.

It might not even be his health issue, could be his wifes? He's given you plenty of notice.
You're being a dick

Wow, are you serious. YABVVVU

Lololol never seen such a landslide victory.

@whydoievencare Please tell me that is not a genuine question!!!!

OP, you're horrible.

Yeah you are being a massive dick. Well, you did ask...

You ask, so my opinion is that you are both unreasonable, and totally selfish.
And self-centred.

Has it occurred to you he may have cancer or a terminal prognosis? Or kidney failure?

No of course not- and even were that the case he should still carry on teaching your daughter....

4 weeks notice got you to get a new tutor and offering her informal support no wonder you don't want to lose him but he may have personal reasons. 4 weeks really is time not to just find but also try put a new tutor. I would not send a nasty email or might change mind and not offer the notice period.

Let's see the email

I would also suggest lessons via Skype/Zoom. Might take the pressure off a bit. I assume must be good, if you are so keen to keep him on?

Sorry OP I was also a dick for not reading the update before piling on.

How very gracious of you. No better trait than someone who can admit their faults IMO. I admire you for that. Hope your DD gets the results she needs

I think he is being very generous - most people when they leave want to leave. He’s giving you notice and offered a free service - what more can you want! I am actually wondering if this is a reverse you are being so ridiculous!