to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

Sorry OP, read your updates. Love your attitude and ability to take criticism.

Well done

Yabvu. The man is ill ffs!

Despite the roasting you're getting here I'm glad you posted, it gave you a moment's pause and you took the right action. Your relationship with the tutor is undamaged and so if his health improves he may consider resuming tutoring. A more impulsive response probably would have left you feeling bad after you'd reflected on it.

Hope you manage to find a suitable replacement and don't take a MN pile on too much to heart.

Why don't people read the flipping updates?

@PinkSkyBlue

Why don't people read the flipping updates?

Ah it wouldn't be a mumsnet aibu without it

Husband and adult son absolutely pissing themselves after I showed them the replies and am still periodically getting screenshots whatsapped to me

Seriously, at no point have you stopped to wonder what is wrong with this person and are they going to be ok, I imagine that they have built up a relationship with your child and to some vague extent is part of their life especially If they have been in your house via zoom etc in lock down and you don't care about their situation. Not nice OP not nice,

I'm a tutor and this reminds me of many parents I've had to work with. I have a debilitating chronic illness which means my house is full of mobility equipment etc and yet I still have families who become insulted if I have to cancel a lesson due to my health expect me to do double lessons the following week, text/email at all hours etc. When I was pregnant/on maternity leave clients came to the house unannounced to ask when I'd be back. All sorts of stuff! If I wasn't disabled I'd go get a job in a shop or literally anything where I could go to work, come home, not be made to feel even more like a failure than I already do with limbs that don't work, but tutoring from home is my only option to make a living in my circumstances. It's hard work being a tutor, there's all the planning and admin on top of the actual teaching so I don't think zoom lessons would help this man at all if he's not well. Since I've moved on line I've actually cancelled more days work than before as looking at the screen for 6 hours a day can make me really nauseous (anyone else??) I'm glad you've sent him a nice email and a thank you.

I am genuinely shocked

@Batmanandbobbin rtft and catch-up then you can close your shocked mouth! Well done op

I love that you were brave enough to share this thread with your DH and DS! You are so much braver than I would be.

Is this a joke?

@PurpleDaisies

There is if he's dying or being forced out of a job he cant do. Insensitive to say the least.

I don’t agree at all, it’s a reasonable question. Many tutors know other tutors. He can say no or just ignore the request.

I don't agree. But each to their own.

You sound absolutely horrendous. Yes you are being a dick.

Thanks for the amusement this pile-on has given me.

OP I love your updates and your attitude

Fair play, @user713467... You asked, got told, and re-evaluated your response to tutor. Not many posters in AIBU actually take on board what people are saying to them but you have. Sounds like a considerate message you sent to him.

Has MN ever been in 100% agreement on anything before? Is this a record?

You are a good person op. In my 10+ years on this wretched site you are the first poster to step back with good grace and admit you were wrong.

You were being a dick, and now you're not. The world needs more people who can accept their mistakes. Good luck.

This thread is turning into cancel the cheque...

Rtft people!

Glad to read your update. Hope you find a replacement.

But also... never seen 100% on here before. OP I think you broke Mumsnet

You have NO idea what he may be dealing with. Many people can appear outwardly 'fine' whilst seriously suffering. Considering whats going on in the world right now & the fact that this year's A Levels are being cancelled anyway, yes...you are indeed being a bit of a dick.

It's ok to have a brief moment of self centered despair! Glad you could get the Mumsnet head wobble before you sent a message you regretted.

He is obviously a great tutor to be missed so much! But he will have laid some great foundations with her by now

@sbhydrogen

Lololol never seen such a landslide victory.

1369 now. That’s impressive.