to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

Omg op I’m sorry didn’t see you’re update. Good stuff !

This is the most unreasonable thing I’ve read in a long fucking time. What is WRONG with you.

I'm just disappointed he couldn't see her until the end of year 13 and felt like there was an unspoken commitment

Well, that's just tough shit. I'm sure he hasn't planned his illness to annoy you. His life doesn't revolve around you alone. It's not about commitment if he's ill FFS.

Unspoken commitments don't exist op. Someone you pay to tutor your child doesn't owe you service to the detriment of their own health.
Christ for all you know the man could be terminally ill.

@HeronLanyon

Omg op I’m sorry didn’t see you’re update. Good stuff !

I wouldn’t laud the update too much. The OP still does not come off well.

Ok I think the OP has got the message now I think we are piling on a bit

How selfish are you 😂

He’s sounds lovely, and you sound like a dick.

Even more so with your update, in fact - unspoken agreement? Well yes - there actually was. But now he’s sick. I can’t believe you’re griping about the timing in your update, too. Sounds like he’s been desperate to stop and didn’t want to let her down - and the cancellation of exams have given him a reason to stop when he should have done already. 4 more weeks not to abruptly end, AND unpaid check ins?

Unfortunately there are some people in life, that the more you do for them, the more they just expect.

Op, You sound like one of my bosses when I told him I had cancer. There were times in my treatment when I could handle some work and there were times in my treatment where I was so radioactive that if I had touched my computer it would have had to be isolated for 6 months. He couldn’t understand that my status changed from week to week.

You’re being a dick. It’s the entitlement of parental attitudes like this that make me very very careful about any private tutoring I take on. Happily I can afford to pick and choose.

Yes you’re being a dick.

Perhaps your response should include "please don't feel you have to work the 4 weeks if it will be detrimental to your health"?

@borntobequiet

You’re being a dick. It’s the entitlement of parental attitudes like this that make me very very careful about any private tutoring I take on. Happily I can afford to pick and choose.

100% of responses (likely from parents) said YABU. I think the op is very rare

You’re being ridiculous. And aren’t A levels cancelled again this year?

YABU. Sounds like he has been more than fair / generous and you’re just annoyed at the frailty of the human body.

YABVU and selfish. I hope you never get too I'll to work OP.

@BilboBercow

Unspoken commitments don't exist op. Someone you pay to tutor your child doesn't owe you service to the detriment of their own health. Christ for all you know the man could be terminally ill.

This ^^

You are being so much of a dick about this that you are probably carrying a testicle under each arm right now.

I think this is literally the most unreasonable thread I have ever read on here. You should be ashamed of yourself for your lack of empathy to another human being.

Delete your email and send another one thanking him for his help, his notice and wishing him all the best for a speedy recovery.

My God, you read some nasty stuff on this site , but this one’s next level.

I was going to give you a reprieve for being a dick then I read your next post about the 'unspoken agreement'.

The man is ill. I know dd's A-Level are more important than another human being's welfare but you need to stop with the attitude.

@user713467

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

His surgery is in 4 weeks maybe?

Poor, poor man. He is going out of his way to be kind and helpful to your daughter while facing possible serious health conditions/treatment. You do realise he is a human being with his own life and not just a machine?

@user713467

ok no I accept I am being a dick with 100% BU

It's just the email came the same day a levels were announced to be cancelled and just UGH. I accept that we can probably find someone else who is just as good, I'm just disappointed he couldn't see her until the end of year 13 and felt like there was an unspoken commitment on that (he started mid year 12).

Will send nice email and get little thank you gift.

And, just out of interest, if your child had dropped maths, or you'd found a new tutor, would you have felt an 'unspoken commitment' to pay him until the end of her year 13?

No, thought not.

You're being a dick.