to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

“unspoken commitment” What have I just read? Obviously your precious DD is way more important than anything this poor man has going on in his life.

This has got to be the most unreasonable and entitled post I have ever read.

And I wonder how much 'unspoken commitment' you felt to him?
You know what ... the world doesn't revolve around your daughter's maths exam.

OP "I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? "

You must have led a charmed life not to know this.

Glad you have seen sense.

@SarahAndQuack

Perfect response!

And, just out of interest, if your child had dropped maths, or you'd found a new tutor, would you have felt an 'unspoken commitment' to pay him until the end of her year 13?

ok totally fair no I wouldn't have

I'm being a total dick and v glad i posted here before emailing or complaining to someone IRL

Bloody hell, she's seen the error of her ways, give her a break now
Isn't that the point of AIBU?
She's listened

Might be completely healthy but looking for an out because OP is soooo pushy.
Nearly 500 votes. 100% YABU
YABVVU

Not seen a 100% poll for a long while!

He sounds a lovely tutor. It sounds as though his illness is chronic rather than acute so he is able to give you notice rather than stopping abruptly. I would be grateful that he is putting himself out for you rather than annoyed at him.
Unless you had a contract fir a year or something, he is entitled to stop when he wishes.

YYABAD

Wow, 100% of c. 500 votes. Says it all.

You are, of course, not unreasonable to feel annoyed/disappointed. You are unreasonable to do anything other than briefly experience that emotion in your head and then put it aside in favour of empathy/compassion. He's obviously going through something difficult and has done his best to transition out of his role as tutor in the least disruptive way possible.

I hope he's able to have a good quality of life and it isn't terminal. Poor man, he sounds like a kind soul too. Illness is always cruel.

Yes. Being an absolute dick OP.
Can’t believe how entitled some people are being

What on earth is the matter with you OP?

The correct response would be a thank you card and a bit of concern don't you think? I'm sure you'll look back on this in horror if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

Glad you have accepted you are bu.

You're being utterly, completely, and objectionably unreasonable. Where is your compassion for him? Why automatically distrust him, why try to find flaws based on your own ignorance to prove he's somehow being deceitful?

For gods sake, wish him well and suck up your own selfish loss.

You really need to develop some perspective and empathy for others. You & your child are not the centre of the universe. Poor man-he owes you nothing.

Yes you are being unreasonable!!!

He could be dying of cancer!!!!!

The fact he is able to work 4 more weeks is what makes it even worse!! That should tell you something ! Clearly it's long term and likely to get worse.

Have some fucking empathy! I'm sure your daughters precious A level results are the most important thing to you but there are bigger things going on in the world and you're too self obsessed to see this?!!

Wow....

Get another one. My DH has spaces.

The irony of people telling OP to get some empathy when they keep berating her long after she has said she was being unreasonable 😂

Ok guys the fox is dead. Just let it go now.

Jeez.

YABU, he is being more than reasonable. Is this a reverse?

Well done for changing your mind op! All the best to your dd.

100% of responses (likely from parents) said YABU. I think the op is very rare

True, thankfully, but it only takes one or two such encounters to make one careful. And I have many years’ worth of experience.