to be really annoyed DDs tutor has quit

[user713467]

AGH really annoyed and need some perspective.

Just got apologetic email from DDs maths tutor. He has said that unfortunately due to health issues he's unable to continue teaching her a level maths. He's offered to work with DD for four more weeks but will need to stop by mid-feb. He's also said he'd be happy to do monthly informal "check in" with DD (no charge) to chat about revision and school etc until a levels finish, but can't commit to formal classes due to his health.

Am I being a dick to be really annoyed? I don't understand how someone can be really ill but also offer to do four more classes? Don't know much about him apart from that he works as a science researcher and wondering if it's just an excuse?

Have typed out long email saying how much he's helped DD and asked if he knows who we could replace him with but haven't sent yet.

ok no I accept I am being a dick with 100% BU

It's just the email came the same day a levels were announced to be cancelled and just UGH. I accept that we can probably find someone else who is just as good, I'm just disappointed he couldn't see her until the end of year 13 and felt like there was an unspoken commitment on that (he started mid year 12).

Will send nice email and get little thank you gift.

To answer your question - yes you are a dick

You’re annoyed he’s ill?

You’re annoyed he’s given you a month’s notice, despite being ill?

Fucking hell.

You’re well beyond being a dick, FYI.

“An unspoken commitment” . People don’t schedule things like cancer so that they fall for a more convenient time for you. Disgusting and entitled attitude.

Yes you are being a dick.

He's given you four weeks notice out of courtesy so that you can find someone else. If I were you I'd tell him he didn't need to work those further weeks out of kindness given he's unwell.

Is he doing face to face tutoring? He may be worried about the covid risk.

Four weeks notice is very reasonable on his part, so I do think yabu. He is clearly trying to do the right thing. Given he has said he has health issues, you do seem rather inconsiderate.

Unspoken agreement? You know you don't own him right OP? He is a tutor, not a serf.

He’s giving you 4 weeks notice and is working out said notice. YABU, he might have cancer... Find another tutor, there’s quite a few around right now.

I’m sorry but it sounds like he is having a tough time and it’s 110% his right to not explain to you what is going on it sounds like he is actually doing you a favour by offering you additional sessions free of charge

Teachers are people with real lives, not service droids.
This.

Unspoken agreement? Wtf?

Fuck sake...of course you’re being a dick!
Outrageous!

Actually I think you should be really appreciative that he is prepared to carry on for four more weeks and has offered a free of charge check in with her. You have no idea about his health and why on earth should he tell you?? If he told you he had cancer and would be having chemo in four weeks, would that be enough of a good reason or maybe if he was having constant pain or whatever. I am literally amazed at your attitude.

Given that exams are cancelled, I also can't see why you are in such a state about it.

Is the 1% the op?

Read the thread people! She has admitted that she was unreasonable!

Wow.

@Lemonpiano

Wow.

Sort of but then walked that back with “unspoken agreement”

@user713467

ok no I accept I am being a dick with 100% BU

It's just the email came the same day a levels were announced to be cancelled and just UGH. I accept that we can probably find someone else who is just as good, I'm just disappointed he couldn't see her until the end of year 13 and felt like there was an unspoken commitment on that (he started mid year 12).

Will send nice email and get little thank you gift.

That's nice.

Maybe he has cancer.

Or something requiring an operation.

How about not speculating about the poor guy who sound like he's going above and beyond.

You did ask, you are being hideously unreasonable. Consider yourself lucky, ill health that can cause this sort of thing obviously hasn't happened to you.

Of course it’s difficult and a pain to replace such a great tutor.
YABVU being annoyed. Are you worried about him? Does you email spend as much time saying how sorry he is and sorry to hear he’s unwell as it does asking him for advice about replacements.
Honestly you just sound unempathetic. I’m sure you’re not - it’s not great but good god right now we’re dealing with far worse.
Good luck op.

Fucking hell!

How much more self absorbed and ignorant can a person be?