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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to share the truth about Insta-bragger colleague

399 replies

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:11

I have a very recently rejoined Instagram after a break. Starting to regret it now 🤦🏻‍♀️. I chose the option to add contacts from my Facebook and so this meant that I have followed the Instagram of a colleague, amongst others.

Aforementioned colleague has recently moved into a new house. It’s all she has talked about recently in the office, fair enough it’s an exciting time but even so. She’s told us about the fact that her and her DH have only been able to buy this place because it is shared ownership. They’ve bought a 25% share and then pay a massively inflated rent to a housing association on the rest of it. As time goes on, they are able to eventually buy more shares if they wish. It’s a big new build - there is only her and the DH- and she has openly said that there is no way they will be able to afford it otherwise. A couple of us in the office had tried to convince her to perhaps look at a slightly smaller house that they would have been able to get a mortgage on the normal way but she had her heart set on the big new build. She referred to it as “Insta-worthy”, which made me and other colleagues eye roll! I even told her about a couple of people I’ve known in years gone by who have had lots of issues with shared ownership properties... I have a friend who lives in one and has to ask for permission from the housing association every time she does any work to it, I also know somebody else who ran into a load of financial difficulties when they wanted to sell their share. But she was adamant this is what she wanted.

I was having a browse of her Instagram earlier this evening. Many of you here may know that there is a big ‘New Home’ community on Instagram and she seems to have thrown herself into that. The issue I have is the blatant lying! She has been inundated With comments on how beautiful the house is, and have had people saying things like “you are so lucky, how on earth have you afforded this, I could ever dream of a house like this” etc etc and she has replied telling people all about how hard she and her DH have worked over the years and it took them a long long time to save up, and telling people about how DH has recently had a career change to a high-paying job which allowed them to buy the house - absolute lies - her DH is in and out of work as he can’t hold a job down!! Does warehouse work now and again.. She has quite openly told us all of this. (There is a group of us who have worked together for a long time so we all know each other well on a personal level). They got the 25% mortgage based on her salary alone.

Then she’s been doing all the humble-bragging of hashtag hardworkpaysoff, I haven’t got enough stuff to fill these huuuuge fitted wardrobes.. it’s really quite cringey!

She has even told us girls in the office that If anybody asks where she lives then she lies and tells them something else because it would give away the fact that they are in a shared ownership property if anyone knew the location!?

I feel so spiteful but the bragging and fibbing is just terrible on her Instagram, I have to work with this woman four days a week and she never stops talking about house stuff, should I just drop a cheeky comment on her Instagram, filling people in on the truth, or should I just stop looking at her page? 😂 honestly wind me up so much when people fabricate a completely different life online to what they actually live.

OP posts:
pinbinpin · 04/01/2021 03:13

Why do you care so much?

You sound mean and spiteful.

TheOneLeggedJockey · 04/01/2021 03:17

You will look equally, if not more, ridiculous by dropping the snarky remark. Surely you realise this.

Unfollow.

Thankgoodness1 · 04/01/2021 03:22

It’s really annoying to see people deceiving others but it’s a lie that isn’t hurting anyone other than her. My friend has done this with her face - completely changed her appearance and blocked all her real friends for thirsty men. It’s not going to end up being any good for her long term mental health.

Gwenhines · 04/01/2021 03:22

She's just using Instagram like everyone else does. The insta picture perfect life is all lies. Just walk away and let her have her fantasy. Focus on your own life.

LemonSquirtInTheEyeOfLife · 04/01/2021 03:22

NBU to find it irritating but, just unfollow her. If she needs the validation, let her get on with it. You'll look petty & spiteful if you do it, on Instagram & to your colleagues.

HoofHeartedSanta · 04/01/2021 03:23

Unfollow.

Seafog · 04/01/2021 03:23

Just unfollow, super easy

Yeahnahmum · 04/01/2021 03:25

Just block her. But i would tell her as it is if she starts about her house again at work.
Cant stand a liar

Thedogscollar · 04/01/2021 03:30

More to be pitied than outed.
This is what social media does to some people it's really quite sad.

theblackparade · 04/01/2021 03:34

It has literally nothing to do with you.

GarlicSoup · 04/01/2021 03:41

You are completely over invested OP step away from insta.

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:41

In reality I most likely won’t comment on her page. It’s just annoying. I hate bragging!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 04/01/2021 03:42

It’s really none of your business. You do sound spiteful.

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:44

@theblackparade

It has literally nothing to do with you.
I quite often find myself consoling her when she comes into work upset as her DH has walked out on yet another job and they are worrying about how to make ends meet, I’ve lent her money previously for this reason. Then I see her Instagram. It’s like two different people.
OP posts:
FortunesFave · 04/01/2021 03:48

Well then stop consoling her. You're being incredibly fake as you obviously think she's the lowest of the low. You're as bad as you're making her out to be.

Terracottasaur · 04/01/2021 03:50

I feel so spiteful

This is how it sounds. I do understand that it’s irritating but it’s not actually hurting you at all.

You can mute people on Instagram so you can’t see their posts without having to actively unfollow them. I would suggest you do that and stop fretting about it.

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:51

@FortunesFave

Well then stop consoling her. You're being incredibly fake as you obviously think she's the lowest of the low. You're as bad as you're making her out to be.
This goes back a long time and looking at her Instagram is only very recent, so I don’t see how I’m being fake? I was shocked by the lies.
OP posts:
LemonSquirtInTheEyeOfLife · 04/01/2021 03:52

Don't get involved. Don't comment on any of it, on IG, FB or in RL. Don't lend money. Don't risk it, you'll sound petty. FWIW, I find IG "lifestyle influencers" etc quite annoying too, so I don't follow them. As a PP mentioned, it's all for show, very shallow. You can clearly see it's not real; you won't gain anything but enemies by making comments.

CharlotteRose90 · 04/01/2021 03:54

This reply has been deleted

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alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 04/01/2021 04:22

You sound spiteful and more than a bit jealous of her house. Let her enjoy her new house FGS, even if she only owns a bit of it, what's it to you?

changedmynameforChristmas · 04/01/2021 04:26

There is so much pressure on people these days to look like they are a success. How you dress, where you holiday, what car you drive and where you live is how we look at other people and decide if they are a success or a failure. It's not very nice. Leave them alone and mind your own business.

So many people these days living in nice homes with a massive crippling mortgage and an expensive car parked outside that they do not own with both partners having to work to pay for it all is scary. I have heard it said that most people are just two months away from bankruptcy if jobs are lost. No wonder some people feel the need to show off and pretend they are doing well, it probably makes them feel a little better, or perhaps shows their families/friends or employer that they are a safe bet until someone blows the whistle on them.
Shame on you OP

readingismycardio · 04/01/2021 04:31

I can see why you're annoyed. This is why a lot of (adult!) people are depressed. Bloody instagram, where everyone has a huge house; a perfect husband and a large dog.

I'd mind my own business. I bet she's frustrated with her husband and she tried to create her "own bubble of happiness".

Blurp · 04/01/2021 04:38

I've seen my SIL do similar on FB - the posed photos and smug comments and hashtags, when I know the reality is very different.

I just ignore it. Nothing to be gained by anyone if it's "exposed". Makes me think less of her, though.

RonaldMcDonald · 04/01/2021 04:38

Stop following her
She needs this, let her have it

WhatTiggersDoBest · 04/01/2021 04:42

Have you thought that if she gets enough followers on Instagram she might actually be able to make a go of using social media to earn a living, and then might be able to afford to pay for her house? Why would you ruin that for her? She's obviously found her niche if she's getting so many nice comments! All you'll do is look like a crazy b*tch if you start going off at her online! And you'll still have to work with her.