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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to share the truth about Insta-bragger colleague

399 replies

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:11

I have a very recently rejoined Instagram after a break. Starting to regret it now 🤦🏻‍♀️. I chose the option to add contacts from my Facebook and so this meant that I have followed the Instagram of a colleague, amongst others.

Aforementioned colleague has recently moved into a new house. It’s all she has talked about recently in the office, fair enough it’s an exciting time but even so. She’s told us about the fact that her and her DH have only been able to buy this place because it is shared ownership. They’ve bought a 25% share and then pay a massively inflated rent to a housing association on the rest of it. As time goes on, they are able to eventually buy more shares if they wish. It’s a big new build - there is only her and the DH- and she has openly said that there is no way they will be able to afford it otherwise. A couple of us in the office had tried to convince her to perhaps look at a slightly smaller house that they would have been able to get a mortgage on the normal way but she had her heart set on the big new build. She referred to it as “Insta-worthy”, which made me and other colleagues eye roll! I even told her about a couple of people I’ve known in years gone by who have had lots of issues with shared ownership properties... I have a friend who lives in one and has to ask for permission from the housing association every time she does any work to it, I also know somebody else who ran into a load of financial difficulties when they wanted to sell their share. But she was adamant this is what she wanted.

I was having a browse of her Instagram earlier this evening. Many of you here may know that there is a big ‘New Home’ community on Instagram and she seems to have thrown herself into that. The issue I have is the blatant lying! She has been inundated With comments on how beautiful the house is, and have had people saying things like “you are so lucky, how on earth have you afforded this, I could ever dream of a house like this” etc etc and she has replied telling people all about how hard she and her DH have worked over the years and it took them a long long time to save up, and telling people about how DH has recently had a career change to a high-paying job which allowed them to buy the house - absolute lies - her DH is in and out of work as he can’t hold a job down!! Does warehouse work now and again.. She has quite openly told us all of this. (There is a group of us who have worked together for a long time so we all know each other well on a personal level). They got the 25% mortgage based on her salary alone.

Then she’s been doing all the humble-bragging of hashtag hardworkpaysoff, I haven’t got enough stuff to fill these huuuuge fitted wardrobes.. it’s really quite cringey!

She has even told us girls in the office that If anybody asks where she lives then she lies and tells them something else because it would give away the fact that they are in a shared ownership property if anyone knew the location!?

I feel so spiteful but the bragging and fibbing is just terrible on her Instagram, I have to work with this woman four days a week and she never stops talking about house stuff, should I just drop a cheeky comment on her Instagram, filling people in on the truth, or should I just stop looking at her page? 😂 honestly wind me up so much when people fabricate a completely different life online to what they actually live.

OP posts:
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 04/01/2021 14:51

The only person that is really being harmed here is the person living in a fantasy world, unable to gain validation in any way other than through strangers liking her posts. Outing her would be petty, cruel and pointless. Frankly, the OP comes across pretty badly in the way she talks about this person - no wonder they have low self esteem!

Any grown adult who thinks that what they see on Insta is an accurate reflection of reality needs to pull their head our of their arse. If you're worried about your kids growing up and not realising how fake it is - teach them! The same way you would (hopefully) explain that cover photos for magazines or adverts are usually photoshopped, and that women in porn aren't really enjoying it etc.

There have always been charlatans and imposters out there; years ago people would have portraits of themselves painted in which markers of wealth were featured and skin was blemish free. When photography became available, people would dress in their Sunday best for a photo, never in their everyday work clothes. Now it's happening on Insta. Plus ça change....

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 04/01/2021 14:53

And yes - I agree that the colleague has obviously worked for her home, and will continue to work for it for as long as she is paying it off. There is no need to snipe nastily at that because it's the truth. Just because it's shared ownership doesn't mean she didn't need to save a deposit.

There are some really nasty and snobbish comments about this.

itsgettingweird · 04/01/2021 15:30

Just feel sorry for her.

People like this are always filling a void.

And change the subject in the office. Even if you talk about what you had for dinner last night Grin

CherryBlossomTree7 · 04/01/2021 15:37

Just keep your beak out.

Unfollow her and and leave her be. Take whatever she says about her life and the house with a pinch of salt. She is clearly not in a great place mentally to fabricate the truth, seems like she needs support and a friend.

MadameButterface · 04/01/2021 15:48

People will always big themselves ip on the internet. Eg in august op had a thread moaning about her neighbours in the adjoining semi, but in December she had another thread moaning about neighbours and in that thread she’d lived in a detached for 7 years ¯\(ツ)

Janegrey333 · 04/01/2021 16:38

The beak out expression is very rude.

Janegrey333 · 04/01/2021 16:39

@Bluntness100

This is envious and spiteful op. Why does she need to tell anyone she doesn’t wish to her financials. These clearly aren’t people she is close to.

You need to stop looking at her insta if it will just make you want to bring her down.

Why does she need to tell anyone she doesn’t wish to her financials

Huh?

jessstan1 · 04/01/2021 16:57

@Janegrey333

The beak out expression is very rude.
Appropriate however.
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/01/2021 18:04

Just stop looking at her social media.
It’s up to her what she says and does and having a work colleague trying to reveal “the truth” is just odd and a bit unkind

2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020 · 04/01/2021 23:27

This is why I deleted instagram. It's fake.

Candyfloss99 · 04/01/2021 23:50

@MadameButterface

People will always big themselves ip on the internet. Eg in august op had a thread moaning about her neighbours in the adjoining semi, but in December she had another thread moaning about neighbours and in that thread she’d lived in a detached for 7 years ¯\\(ツ)
Hahahahah
FAQs · 05/01/2021 00:10

@Shr1881 she isn’t bragging she is blagging. I’d find it irritating as well, but I know a mum with a large following who frequently spouts how proud she is of her independent kids, except she an alcoholic and they are independent because she had an alcohol issue and they had to drag themselves up, whilst neighbours like me had to dig her out of bushes and ditches so she didn’t freeze to death whilst taking it in terms to ensure the kids were looked after, she is also always doing self pity I look so old posts trying to get compliments on her age, she spent £1000s on a face lift but someone recently said she looks great for 56, which is older than her actual age. I’ve wanted to comment many times but haven’t for her kids but it’s lip biting at times when you just want to give them a reality check.

DeeCeeCherry · 05/01/2021 01:31

How would you "out" these people anyway? Where? You'd be labelled bitter and envious so it's swings and roundabouts isn't it? There's no reason to suppose anybody would believe or take notice of you.

BlueThistles · 05/01/2021 01:49

Im amazed at the comments directed at OP on here..

hasn't Hilary Baldwin just been outed and shamed for being a complete liar faking heritage... are we celebrating LIES now ... and condemning the people who prove them liars.. 🤔 maybe we are ... 😳

OP block her...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/01/2021 02:14

I think the best thing to take from this is to teach your kids and anyone else who hasn't worked it out yet that Instagram is full of fakery. Just assume it's like false advertising and that none of it is real, and you won't go far wrong.

1forAll74 · 05/01/2021 02:26

There is something really wrong with people who need to post on Instagram or similar, and show , or tell the world about their private lives,. and very odd that people follow all this rubbish social media.

InvisibleMoonDancer · 05/01/2021 02:28

Sorry but you sound jealous and bitter, why else would this bother you? If she's happy then good on her, leave her be.

Funneth · 05/01/2021 03:05

People are so simple, it's rather sad. Parading about online with a fantasised life it's not much different to when kids used to go through the Argos catalogue and circle hundreds of things they wanted, imagining they could have it all. But if you 'out' her, what will that achieve?

BlueThistles · 05/01/2021 03:10

@InvisibleMoonDancer

Sorry but you sound jealous and bitter, why else would this bother you? If she's happy then good on her, leave her be.

I'm not sure of you read OP's original post.. the woman and her husband are already struggling to meet the monthly payments to maintain the property.. despite only partial ownership... they will most likely lose the house given time...

I'm not sure what there is to envy ...

Slidearound · 05/01/2021 07:16

Why do you care so much?

Why are you following someone you seem to despise?

All the things you say about this situation, she will learn for herself. Let it play out. You don't need to contribute.

Also, try compassion?
There's a reason she's doing this and behaving this way. You'll never know why, but it will definitely boil down to insecurities.

I live in a fairly large house with a fairly big mortgage. My friend lives in a terraced house, mortgage paid off and she earns much more money than I do, but uses it to go travelling.
Different strokes for different folks.
Having a big house is a status symbol much of the time (I've realised this and now desperate to downsize!)

LizDiz · 05/01/2021 08:10

You're way to involved in your colleagues life.

Bangable · 05/01/2021 09:51

STOP THE PRESSES

Some people lie about their lives on Insta

Shock
Janegrey333 · 05/01/2021 11:18

@DeeCeeCherry

How would you "out" these people anyway? Where? You'd be labelled bitter and envious so it's swings and roundabouts isn't it? There's no reason to suppose anybody would believe or take notice of you.
The old chestnut, again. Biter and envious...yaddayadda Grin
Janegrey333 · 05/01/2021 11:18

Bitter...

Emeraldshamrock · 05/01/2021 11:33

Get off Instagram if you can't handle the fakeness no need to be bitter and out her, what would it achieve it would show others her life isn't perfect while yours is boring as fuck they'll see you're jealous too.
It'll be forgotten in days but never forgotten by your colleague.
Find a hobby.