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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm f**c*d aren't I

204 replies

Vanlady · 03/01/2021 02:44

So tomorrow I hope to drink my last bottle of wine (yes, bottle). Slipped into the typical wine drinking mum mode about 20 years ago. As a nurse I've picked up a few tricks, avoid the itchiness caused by toxins building in your body un processed by your liver , by taking a daily anti - histamine,combat the depression by taking anti depressants and generally stick a smile on your face. Drink 4 bottles of wine weekly and ignore everything else but I can't hide the symptoms any more, my nails have terrys syndrome (alcoholic liver disease symptoms) no one has noticed but me and they are getting worse. Mum to an adult with moderate LD and have a 30 Yr plus happy marriage. Aibu to think I can turn this around at such a late stage or should I prepare them for the fact I will die soon

OP posts:
PearlescentIridescent · 03/01/2021 02:48

Oh my dear, go to the doctor Flowers Just explain everything. They will be able to sign post you to support right? You need to get yourself treated and hopefully it will come out the reasons behind it and you will be able to get the treatment for the underlying addiction.

I know things aren't simple and support isn't fantastic but you deserve to live and your family deserve to keep you Flowers

yawnsvillex · 03/01/2021 02:50

You can call AA 24hrs a day .... everything on Zoom at the moment too. You can join a meeting anytime of the day.

There is help if you really want it.

If you don't fancy the idea of AA ... SMART recovery is an alternative.

I wish you well. You're not alone. Thanks

DigitalChristmas · 03/01/2021 02:52

Sorry to hear you are struggling with alcoholism. The main concern I have for you is going cold turkey. From everything I’ve read, it puts you at risk of some pretty nasty complications including the
possibility of seizures. Can you contact the relevant alcohol support services so you can do so safely?

Sparklesocks · 03/01/2021 02:53

You aren’t fucked. Please ask for help.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 03/01/2021 02:53

Yes, as PPS says, you are not going to know anything for certain until you have spoken to the relevant professionals and had the proper assessments. FWIW I work with people with addictions, and 4 bottles of wine per week, even over the length of time you are describing, is not an extraordinary amount by comparative standards. I know people who have abused themselves to a far greater degree than that and have turned it around completely, to the point where they are fit, healthy, and going strong, so no, I don't believe you are BU to think you can still recover from this if you have the will to do so.

Go speak to your GP, or self-refer to a local group specialising in self-harm/substance abuse. Best of luck.

ChestnutStuffing · 03/01/2021 02:55

Yes, please ask for help.

Even if they do not recommend cold turkey, you may well be able to improve your situation a lot, if that is what you want. I am sure your dh and mum would want that. Things can get a lot better.

TaraR2020 · 03/01/2021 02:59

Everything pp have said.

You're clearly very brave and strong and you will most definitely turn this around. You're not going to die soon. It isn't too late

There is so much help and support and with that you'll come out the otherwise and be so glad you've made this step. First steps are always the biggest.

You can do this. FlowersFlowersStar

TaraR2020 · 03/01/2021 03:00

*other side

TaraR2020 · 03/01/2021 03:01

Don't forget, the liver regenerates and you have everything to live for

Littlepond · 03/01/2021 03:02

You can absolutely do this. You aren’t fucked. You recognise that something needs to change and that is a huge first step.
Don’t try and do it alone, get help and support. You got this.

KitchenDancefloor · 03/01/2021 03:05

You have made the most important choice, you WANT to change.

If you keep your resolve, everything is possible.

Even if you wobble, have a long journey or slip up, as long as you CHOOSE to not want to drink, you'll have a very bright future.

Good luck

GarlicSoup · 03/01/2021 03:06

Get some real life help and support OP. You can recover from this. You’re very strong to acknowledge the problem and want to get your health back Flowers You can do this.

Skyline24 · 03/01/2021 03:09

Of course you can do this! You do need support from alcohol services / GP as u will probably need medication to help with the withdrawals ( DTs). Wishing you all the best with this and try to keep a positive outlook!:)

waltzingparrot · 03/01/2021 03:10

Well you've already put yourself on the right path just posting here. You recognise where you are at. I don't doubt it will be tough at times, but I can see in your post that you want to get better. Good luck OP.

CoRhona · 03/01/2021 03:11

If you can get treatment / give up drinking, the other symptoms may well improve too. Good luck Flowers

Chalfontstgiles · 03/01/2021 03:35

For the sake of the New Year, your husband and your child....stop! AA are amazing for those who are committed to engage fully and want sobriety, freedom and life. Do nothing and you might well be sleep walking towards an early end....alcoholism is life threatening and no one should pretend otherwise. But be brave, act, take a day at a time .....you can turn this around. The addiction of alcohol is strong, get support ideally from an AA sponsor.

Coyoacan · 03/01/2021 03:36

I managed to give up drinking three years ago by taking lots of vitamin B complex. As far as I know, vitamin B complex is also recommended for liver disease. You can do it

Fungster · 03/01/2021 03:45

You absolutely can do it. So can I. We can do it. We will do it.

RickiTarr · 03/01/2021 03:52

You can turn this around but act now - today - to give your liver the best possible chance. Make the first phone call. Good luck.

sadcatdiary · 03/01/2021 04:53

Please get help. You're not fucked. You clearly understand what you need to do.

All the best.

rookgizzardpie · 03/01/2021 04:55

You’re a nurse, you (must) know that the liver is great at repairing itself but only if you give it a chance to

mamakoukla · 03/01/2021 05:16

VanLady, you’ve reached a turning point. Take this and move forward. What first advice would you, as a HCP, recommend to a friend? You sound courageous and strong, even if you don’t feel so at the moment. You are stronger and braver than you think beautiful person xxxx

jessstan1 · 03/01/2021 05:27

It's never too late VanLady.

Plenty of water, a lot of Vitamin B and Thiamine. Marmite on toast. Eggs, milk, cheese, tomatoes.
Good meals.

See your doctor for medical help but but is basically up to you and you can come back from this.

You're too young to give up but you obviously need some changes in your life to make it worthwhile.

Every good wish to you. Please keep posting here, you'll have plenty of support.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 03/01/2021 05:44

You can turn it around. My DS was on the verge of her liver packing up when she was about 50. In and out of rehab a few times. She takes anta buse, and has been sober for about 6 yrs. It can be done! On 4 bottles a week, I think you may not get too many withdrawal symptoms, but take advice, as not medically qualified (but I am a trained alcohol abuse counsellor). Good luck!

Mamanyt · 03/01/2021 05:48

You will need support, but you can do this. And your liver can recover. Hang in there, see a professional to assist with mental, physical and emotional issues, and talk with your family. But you can do this.