I'm f**c*d aren't I

[Vanlady]

So tomorrow I hope to drink my last bottle of wine (yes, bottle). Slipped into the typical wine drinking mum mode about 20 years ago. As a nurse I've picked up a few tricks, avoid the itchiness caused by toxins building in your body un processed by your liver , by taking a daily anti - histamine,combat the depression by taking anti depressants and generally stick a smile on your face. Drink 4 bottles of wine weekly and ignore everything else but I can't hide the symptoms any more, my nails have terrys syndrome (alcoholic liver disease symptoms) no one has noticed but me and they are getting worse. Mum to an adult with moderate LD and have a 30 Yr plus happy marriage. Aibu to think I can turn this around at such a late stage or should I prepare them for the fact I will die soon

You will be fine; you can do it. My ex was a binge drinker, he would drink much more than a couple of bottles of wine a day. He stopped (with the support of AA) when he had decided enough was enough. The most important thing is that you truly make that decision and take some actions that will fill the void. And you can do it! He was about 48 when he stopped and had drink heavily on and off for a long time. He has had liver function tests and they are fine. Good luck.

If it's just at weekends it's even less likely to cause major issues if you suddenly stop. You're already going 4-5 days without alcohol so you'd likely see physical withdrawal symptoms in that time if they were likely to appear. Plus while binge drinking can indeed be damaging, your liver is getting several alcohol free days each week so getting a chance to recover. I think the mental affects are the worst for you here and it's more emotional support you need more than anything. You are definitely far from fucked OP. Good luck

You are fucked if you carry on. My mother in law was a heavy drinker for 40+ years and in complete denial about the impact of her ‘two cocktails in the evening’. Although I’m sure the damage happened gradually, on the outside she fell apart quite suddenly. She aged 30 years within two years going from an active, sophisticated lady with a small business to a toothless demented wreck requiring daily care. Her official diagnosis is ‘suspected brain damage due to longterm alcohol abuse’. Her family are heartbroken, especially as we tried to intervene many times since her first health issues started cropping up but failed to convince her to give up drinking. Please do it for your family and seek help, it’s not too late

Posters who say four bottles a week is not a lot are functioning alcoholics. It’s well over double the weekly recommend maximum.

The richness could be because of liver damage too. But you must know that!

Itchiness, not richness

You can absolutely turn this around @Vanlady. Please access mental health/addiction support as well as GP support. You’ve got this! Flowers

OP I'm guessing that you've put others before yourself for a long time. You deserve care too you know.

Worth a shot at turning things around. If you decide you’re done for it’ll just be another reason not to change. You can’t do this without support.

@Vanlady I think you've done the first thing, which is acknowledge your habit isn't healthy and you want to change. Seek support from AA and/or your GP and talk to your DH. The more support you have, the more likely you are to succeed. Do you have alcohol in the house you need to get rid of?

Hi, I managed to stop 2 years ago, I was up to about 80 units a week, and still managing to function but things were starting to crumble. I've had 2 relapses with horrific withdrawals since. Please make sure you have support while you come off it. Try to taper! Theres lots of help out there but unfortunately the stigma and shame stops people from getting help. Get through it a day at a time, you'll feel stronger every day. Xx

I am happy in a way that I have found your thread OP. It has made me think a lot. I have just been on the AA website now.

I am, and have been for quite some time, drinking at least double what you are drinking. I function fine, but I do feel like the wheels will come off the bus soon. We can both do this. We can.

Four bottles of wine a week isn't great and is too much. But would you get permanent liver damage from that? People on here seem to drink a lot more than that.

I worked on a ward for 5 years looking after patients with liver disease, you can get better but you’ll need support in doing so.
Go to to your GP and be HONEST about your drinking habits and units you consume, get your bloods taken to determine what (if any) damage has been caused to your liver...you may be sent for an ultra sound to get a better look. Are you jaundice? I’m the meantime don’t suddenly stop drinking if you are drinking more than you say each day (I’m not judging, just talking from experience) as this can possibly cause seizures so cut down slowly and under the guidance of your GP. Also make sure your opening your bowels regularly as you want to be ridding your body of toxins...I’m sure as a nurse you know this stuff already but just offering some advice :)
Please don’t delay getting this medical help as you can make a full recovery, I’ve seen that many times with patients sounding in a worse place than you describe.
You can do this!

The human body is pretty amazing, and will recover if you stop now.

Personally I have turned around being 3 stone over weight with very very high cholesterol in about a year. You just need to persist.

Not sure if you need professional help, different people are able to tackle the problem in different ways.

@Viviennemary

Four bottles of wine a week isn't great and is too much. But would you get permanent liver damage from that? People on here seem to drink a lot more than that.

Yes. You absolutely can get liver damage from that. I very suddenly became very ill and I was drinking no more than four bottles a week - often only three. I drank a lot less than many friends who had and still have normal liver function tests. But that’s the issue. It can happen so suddenly and no one knows who it will happen to. That’s why the government limits are set as they are - some people may get away with regularly drinking more than the limits but many others won’t.

Like the OP I was usually drinking it all over a weekend with the occasional mid week top up depending on what was going on. More often on summer holiday and a week at Xmas.

The number of people saying to OP “that’s not a lot” or “Idrink lots more than that” worries me - because I relied on that too and used it as an excuse not to stop - most people I knew drank more. But OP is having warning signs. I went from some vague itchiness to fully jaundiced and very sick overnight. Heed the warnings that your body is giving you OP. You can do this and you will feel so much better. Good luck

'Typical wine drinking mum mode' is only typical to mums with a drink problem. Go get help.

The people saying 4 bottles of wine isn't alot need to get help aswell that's really bad.

Get help l, you admitted to yourself you have a problem which is a massive first step

Others may have noticed and not said anything

Get help
Good luck

Well done on recognising you have a problem, and good luck for overcoming this.

The people saying 4 bottles of wine isn't alot need to get help aswell that's really bad.

But no one has said that in the way you are inferring. And those that have have bit said THEY drink that much. It's just assuring the OP it's unlikely she's done irreversible damage from what she's describing and she can absolutely address this.

At the end of my drinking I was getting through a quarter bottle of vodka and two 2 litre bottles of cider a day. I tried controlled drinking and various self help groups but I wouldn't even try AA because I thought it was religious or some sort of cult.

In the end I went into rehab for six weeks, discovered that AA wasn't religious or a cult, and after I got out I went to frequent AA meetings for about seven years.

I've now been sober for 31 years. Best thing I ever did. I did an AMA about it when I was 30 years sober. It's here if you're interested. I explain how it worked for me and what AA does.

My liver recovered very soon after I stopped drinking. You're fucked only if you want to be. But please seek medical advice before you stop. Cold turkey from opiates is famously horrible but it's not dangerous. Unsupervised withdrawal from alcohol is very dangerous. It can kill you.

You can do it.
The alcohol support thread here is very good. Find something to fill your time recovery works bettee with a plan there are many in your situation AA will offer support.
I get it is embarrassing you're not on your arse it is difficult to join AA most is online but it will be worth it.

Oh OP you can definitely do it. I have a dear friend who was drinking more than twice that amount in a week and she stopped and never restarted. She's fifty and looks and feels better than she has for years. By contrast DP's ex wife drinks far more than you and doesn't even seem to think she is unusual or it's a problem (it is obviously).

Well done for acknowledging this. It's far from too late. You can do it.

@HesterShaw1

Oh OP you can definitely do it. I have a dear friend who was drinking more than twice that amount in a week and she stopped and never restarted. She's fifty and looks and feels better than she has for years. By contrast DP's ex wife drinks far more than you and doesn't even seem to think she is unusual or it's a problem (it is obviously).

Well done for acknowledging this. It's far from too late. You can do it.

And this is obviously NOT me saying that four bottles a week isn't too much.