I'm f**c*d aren't I

[Vanlady]

So tomorrow I hope to drink my last bottle of wine (yes, bottle). Slipped into the typical wine drinking mum mode about 20 years ago. As a nurse I've picked up a few tricks, avoid the itchiness caused by toxins building in your body un processed by your liver , by taking a daily anti - histamine,combat the depression by taking anti depressants and generally stick a smile on your face. Drink 4 bottles of wine weekly and ignore everything else but I can't hide the symptoms any more, my nails have terrys syndrome (alcoholic liver disease symptoms) no one has noticed but me and they are getting worse. Mum to an adult with moderate LD and have a 30 Yr plus happy marriage. Aibu to think I can turn this around at such a late stage or should I prepare them for the fact I will die soon

I'm glad to see this thread revived as I have thought of you so many times since you first posted @vanlady. You just sounded so sad and worried and I really thought it was a salvageable situation. I really hope you're doing well. Please let us know, especially if you're not.

There's not sufficient evidence that milk thistle does anything.

You need to see a medical doctor for evidence-based treatment.

With your nails etc you might have got yourself worked up and there's actually not much there.

The liver is quite resilient and can bounce back quite a bit (which isn't say you should put off trying to get help. x)

@Unusuallyunfortunate

Of course ! Everyday wasn’t the same depending what was going on so maybe 4/5 cans of beer which wouldn’t have me feeling drunk but On nights I was on my own like weekends etc I would have the beers then vodka as well . I could go through a litre of vodka in 3 nights .

Mainly that I couldn’t sleep very well , broken sleep, waking up in an anxious sweat , bad dreams, upset stomach a bit and massive sugar cravings , only lasted about a week or so and by a few days in I really didn’t crave the booze anymore

I think for me I wasn’t drinking because of any problems as such I had just got into the habit and built up a tolerance

I didn't think 4 bottles of wine a week was that bad

You can do it, loads of help recommendations on this thread.
I had my last drink New Years Eve 2004. I was drinking 56 units a week in the evenings and my body was so used to it I rarely even looked, acted or felt drunk. Never thought I could stop, especially as it's very rare that anyone actually sticks to a New Year's resolution, but once I lived through my body detoxing I didn't miss it at all. Your body/brain tends to turn to sugary things as a replacement, but that's easier to control once it dies down. Many members of a group I participated found that they turned to ice cream. Something to do with the sugar and fat. There is a scientific explanation, I think it's along the lines of it hitting the same pleasure areas of the brain, but I was just glad to know I wasn't bonkers for my sudden interest in Ben and Jerry’s. I just went with it, ice cream, then jelly beans then it died away. A lot of people worry that they will always crave alcohol or feel they are missing something, but honestly, I can purchase wine for my partner and all I think is what a waste of shelf space. Yards and yards of bottled rotted fruit that could be filled with yarn, lol.

Four bottles of wine a week isn't that bad. It's not great but when I read your post I did think it would be more than that. Get some help.

OP, I've not read the full thread but would like to share my experience.

My DM is a recovering alcoholic and has been for the last 9 years. She used to drink a litre bottle of vodka a day.

She was literally given weeks to live and told to put her affairs in order, I thought that only happened in the movies but it happened to her. She immediately went into a hospital rehab (she had to be closely monitored) and she's been off the booze for 9 years. She's still alive, she's got some health issues but it's the best I've ever seen her and she's so happy.

It wasn't the first time she went to rehab, she lasted 2 days last time however she's done it. I never thought she would but she has.

I honestly believe if you want to do it, you can. It'll be hard but it's not too late at all. Get support and help - you can do it!

There is a lovely thread running called Brave Babes which is a fabulous support thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4131527-BRAVE-BABES-the-bus-keeps-trundling-on

One thing that worried me into addressing how much I drank was developing Terry’s nails - I no longer drink and that symptom has now gone completely, healthy pink nail beds. Hopefully it means other parts are in better shape now too 🙂

OP, do you think you could be self-medicating due to trauma? You may not be, of course, it was a few other details such as being prescribed antidepressants that made me wonder, and the fact that a lot of people (not all, of course) who have a difficult relationship with addictive substances also have a history involving psychological trauma. If this rings bells, some counselling from someone who understands complex trauma could help a lot in managing your drinking.

You aren’t fucked. The liver repairs itself with abstinence, please seek help and support. Good luck

Is 4 bottles of wine a week that bad? Just over half a bottle a day?

@Member869894

Is 4 bottles of wine a week that bad? Just over half a bottle a day?

Of course it is! That is 3 times the amount recommended by WHO!!!

no, it's probably not harmful but this is MN where only half a thimble once a year is recommended

I'm so sorry but glad you have decided to stop. Take Vitamin B and Thiamine, Vitamin C, etc. Make sure you eat and drink plenty of water and milk.

You'll get there!

I'll echo the voices that have gone before me. ASK for help. Your family needs you and loves you.

Jesus some of the “advice” on here is downright dangerous. Keyboard doctors and nurses.
Just shows how little understanding of both physical and psychological dependence there is.
For everyone saying 4 bottles a week is nothing to worry about away and shake your heads.
Op as you may be aware it’s all about how decompensated your liver is Andy he only way to find that out is with a FBC and a lived scan both of which are available through community addiction teams. Generally referral is through GO sci gateway and if your occupation is highlighted then your referral will only be seen by a few in the team.
I have treated every occupations including doctors, nurses teachers and dentists more than you’d believe.
First step is to call your GP. Please do not stop drinking as this can be incredibly dangerous which pp are obviously unaware of
Good luck

Don’t know who Andy isshould read and the only way as should be GP sci gateway

@Crabbypaddy that is actually only true depending on the decompensation of the liver. So you could stop drinking and remain sober and still experience liver failure.

My ds died at 58 from alcoholic liver disease, and she knew exactly what she was doing after a wake up call ten years previously. The family thought she had it under control but we were deceiving ourselves. You're not at that stage yet, so go and see your doctor. There's help out there but you have to go and get it!

Whilst you're alive, there is hope.

My partner of ten years, who I separated from 9 months ago, passed away last weekend from late stage alcoholism.

She was 42. Please, stop the pretence. Seek help, fast.

Google “treatment link” it’s a company who work with families who are concerned about their lives ones but I’m sure he’d happily talk to you.

and the guy running it really knows his stuff he has been there himself so he has very personal experience etc.. It’s never too late. Good luck.

How are you getting on OP?

*loved ones.

@Duemarch2021 I was thinking the same I can easily do 1.5 bottles on a Friday, 1.5 on a Saturday and 1 on a Sunday while cooking the roast!