To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

[quote ILoveShula]**@SometimesIWonderWhy, @Cleverpolly3

I have no indignation. If a woman wants a baby at age 46 and can have one, then surely it is her business, not mine. I know someone who had a first baby at that age and there were comments made, but not by me, I assumed it was a much longed for child with parents in a stable LTR relationship.

Mother and child were and are perfectly fine, parents are still together. The mother looks young for her age, so doesn't look older than the other mums.

13 is too young though.[/quote]
Sorry I was agreeing with the general point about 13 year olds being pregnant as far worse not you individually

Hilarious all the pp's who say 46 is too old to have a baby but happy to use gp's for free childcare!

@Oreservoir - spot on with that comment! So true !

I know this is a bit of a zombie thread but @MATTSMAMMA and @Oreservoir surely you can see the difference between a couple of hours of childcare and the relentlessness of actually being a parent?

My mum was 45 when she became a grandparent and was quite open about how tiring she found having DD for a Saturday afternoon and how she couldn't imagine having her own kids at her age.

It is a bit selfish in my opinion but it's non of your other friends business and quite a nasty thing to say.

[quote MATTSMAMMA]@Oreservoir - spot on with that comment! So true ![/quote]
It’s not really spot on though is it. Grandparents don’t have to give birth to their grandchildren, go through the sleepless nights, toilet training, looking after them when they’re sick, work alongside looking after the kids etc

On researching my family tree I found that one of my great great great grandmothers had her last baby at 50! No donated eggs then, but I do think that must be highly unusual.

It is too old, but I wouldn't say that to her.

The only thing I'd say was to encourage her to stay fit. I had my youngest at 42 and now at 48 I'm still more than able to chase them around, bounce on the trampoline etc. It is harder when you're older but it doesn't mean that you are a bad mum. Good luck to her.

@Wondermule what about foster carers? Any foster carers are in their 40s and 50s and even early 60s (most common age for foster carers is actually late 40s) and they can often have a baby to care for 24hrs per day, right from baby comes home from the hospital, sometimes baby can be withdrawing and have greater needs, yet, I have never heard anyone raise age as a barrier to fostering a baby for someone in their 40s, and I used to work in fostering assessment and recruitment.

You are being ageist.

One of my housemates at university had parents much older than the rest of us, when we were eighteen his dad was nearly seventy, he lost his dad by 25 and his mum before he was 30, that seems a shame. My friend didn't seem very close to either parent and they had quite a formal relationship, they had very little in common and they often seemed perplexed by him. However that could just be their personalities.

Biologically she is obviously not too old.
The evidence to the contrary is right there in her uterus.

Nobody else's opinion matters really, does it?

I'm 44 and would feel too old if I had a baby now, I'd almost be a pensioner when she or he was 18, but each to their own, I wouldn't judge

Health issues needing care at 70! Hardly normal. We're working til 67. Are people in their 40s really caring for parents of 70 plus?

Had DS 2 at 47. Am a far more confident mum then in my mid thirties. Fitter too as I’ve drastically changed my diet and exercise more. DS is thriving, happy - doted on by all. I absolutely do not care if people think I’m too old or selfish. It’s my life, I was counselled by my fertility clinic before starting treatment, it’s lawful and becoming more the norm these days. I’ve worked hard, financially secure, in a good area with great schools, and I’m confident in how to parent. DS is getting a bloody good life and more love than you possibly imagine.

A friend if mine had her first at 46. He just turned 18 and she's fit and active.
My sister had her first at 45. All well and good.
A friend's mum had her at 24, and passed away when she was 15. You just never know.
Why is it considered selfish? More likely to be financially stable, more mature and have much life experience.
If the baby was concieved naturally I can't see how it's anyones business (I do think women who use extraordinary measures to get pregnant after already having kids or reaching a point of very minimal likely success need to think again).

Too old. I'm 42 and couldn't have another now. I'd be 60 when they left for uni. I've raised my dc in my 30s 40s and will be 54 when the youngest is 18. I don't think youd want to be much older...

How nasty of your so called friend

Yes it’s old to be having a baby but this wasn’t uncommon before women could control contraception. I think your friend can judge herself if she is too old. I would be happy for a friend too

@AlwaysLatte

On researching my family tree I found that one of my great great great grandmothers had her last baby at 50! No donated eggs then, but I do think that must be highly unusual.

Always Are you sure she didn't also have an unmarried daughter around the age 14-24? It was not unknown to pass off an unwed daughter's child as your own...