To think at 46 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Tellmelies65]

My lovely friend has just announced she’s pregnant with her first at 46. She just didn’t meet the right person until now. A friend we have in common has messaged saying how outrageous it is.

Wow, so many people bickering amongst themselves. Leave the woman (and others like her) alone. I'm sure she'll be a lovely mum. Hope she hasn't seen this thread, either.

I love how this thread has a starting post from the OP and one other post.

Mmmmmm.....

Seems like the OP is trolling.

@RedMarauder

I love how this thread has a starting post from the OP and one other post.

Mmmmmm.....

Seems like the OP is trolling.

As I've said a few times this has emerged from the other thread.

@Willyoujustbequiet

If it was too old she wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

My parents had me in their twenties and neither of them saw old age. There are no guarantees.

This woman has most likely used another younger woman's eggs so going against "nature" If you like.

Fair enough if she fell pregnant with a surprise natural baby at that age but I highly doubt it.

It’s perfectly fine for men to have kids at that age but women are really judged! It’s so weird. No eyebrows raised at 40 + dads

Some really nasty comments her. She got pregnant, so she's clearly not 'too old'. Also, you don't get to decide who is 'too old'. Plenty of young but very shit parents out there, which is a bigger concern.

*This woman has most likely used another younger woman's eggs so going against "nature" If you like.

Fair enough if she fell pregnant with a surprise natural baby at that age but I highly doubt it*

Bollocks.

Ffs women aren’t all post menopausal by 45. It isn’t unusual to get pregnant in your 40’s, completely naturally.

In fact it’s a thing where women fo to the dr with “menopausal” symptoms and find their pregnant.

Lots on this thread have said they or others have had natural late babies.

It’s riskier, it’s less likely, but it is normal to still be fertile into your late 40’s.

Ffs we’re told to use contraception until a year with no periods. So the medical profession obviously think women are still fertile into their 50’s.

Where on earth has this come from that women are shrivelled and done by 40? Before IVf came along late babies happened...

Why do you "highly doubt it"? You can get pregnant naturally right up until menopause. I got pregnant 4 times naturally in my mid-40s, each time the same month I started ttc (the fact that I miscarried the first three times was because of medical factors unrelated to age).

Ivfbeenbusy

No its perfectly possible and indeed more likely to have been a natural pregnancy than a use of donor eggs. I think perhaps your usernane hints that your judgement may not be objective on this one. I know several mums had their last well into their forties. Its perfectly natural up to menopause.

It’s nobody else business anyway. It’s up to the individual. Very negative thread.

@user1471523870

I had my first at almost 44. I am now 46 and thinking about a second one. Reading all the replies to this post made me wonder why so many think you must be so old and frail in your 40s? I am as full of energy as ever been, I am lucky my body is still the same as when younger (in size and appearance) and except for some lines around my eyes also my face is far from the one of an old lady. I breastfed my very wanted child, went through all the sleepless nights (with a full time demanding job I went back to) and I am now chasing a very active little toddler. I genuinely never think it would have been any easier twenty years ago. By comparison with all my friends I think I am as tired as them with similar age children. I travelled a lot, lived in several countries, had/have a successful career, meet interesting people, made good experiences and now that I finally am a mum I enjoy every second of it. The thought that at my age you SHOULD looking forward to an easier life doesn't even cross my mind and I find it ludicrous. I am still in my prime time on this earth and struggle to see how other people my age don't think the same way (however I see many comments are from younger mums. Don't worry, you will by fine by the time you reach my age!).

My little one will have an older mum, yes, but also a more patient one, more settled and financially stable. And, to be very honest, most of my friends and relative had babies in their late 30s-early 40s. I couldn't stand out even if I wanted to.

I could have written exactly the same. I had my child at 41, now she is one and a half and I have had no problem with pregnancy or dealing with a toddler at my late stage. I'm more active than most younger parents I know plus I have more experience, patience and security.

Even apart from the whole childbrearing issue, this idea that you are or should be "slowing down" in your forties is ludicrous. 40s/50 and into 60s is precisely when most people in professional careers are at the height of their productivity.The ability/opportunity/desire to go out clubbing all night is hardly a measure of one's vitality. This is such a weird thread.

Ffs women aren’t all post menopausal by 45. It isn’t unusual to get pregnant in your 40’s, completely naturally.

I think there’s some really funny ideas of older women on this thread. I’m 47 and still have regular periods and ovulate. Menopause generally doesn’t happen till early 50s which is why doctors advise women to take contraception throughout their 40s.
As it happens I am one of those women who REALLY struggled to conceive in later life. My eggs were fucking horrendous. Many don’t though abs and mess part of lots of conception threads where women in their 40s were falling pregnant successfully and the pregnancies were text book.

And many of my friends had babies in their forties. I only know of one who had IVF and she was sadly unsuccessful, again for reasons not related to her age.

@ivfbeenbusy

“Most likely used another woman’s eggs”

What a load of shit

@Cleverpolly3 exactly. Most likely did not use another woman's eggs. What odd ideas people have!

my best friend has just had her third at 51, she is great, a lovely person looks great and keeps herself very fit,

why all the nastiness ???

"For those in their 40s the lofe expectancy is far higher than that."

Life expectancy for a 45 year old woman in the UK is 84 according to this website, so only 3 years higher than 81.
www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/your-life-expectancy-by-age-female

Most women who have babies in their 40s are early 40s though. This thread is about someone in their late 40s. And while actual menopause doesn’t usually happen Until early 50s the peri menopause often starts a good five years before. I’m early 50s and still have regular periods but I’ve definitely had peri symptoms and I certainly wouldn’t want to be coping with them as well as a toddler.

I think there’s some really funny ideas of older women on this thread. I’m 47 and still have regular periods and ovulate. Menopause generally doesn’t happen till early 50s which is why doctors advise women to take contraception throughout their 40s.

My periods were over by the time I was 50 and were irregular since 46. My last IVF attempt, at the age of 40 yielded two eggs and one embryo, on the maximum possible dose of stimulation drugs We’re all different. It’s not uncommon to struggle to conceive in your 40s. Just as it’s not uncommon to still be fertile.

Ffs women aren’t all post menopausal by 45. It isn’t unusual to get pregnant in your 40’s, completely naturally

Too right. I was 61 before I hit the menopause. Which lasted another 18 months. I know plenty of women who had babies over 40

And many of my friends had babies in their forties I know so many who had babies earlier in their 30s then went on to have unplanned pregnancies in early 40s. I’d say the one thing they have in common is they really look after their health.
As for my previous post about being financially stable at mid 40s , I’m aware there are exceptions and did use the word "probably" in my OP. but the majority single or childless 40 + are either home owners or at least with good savings, or have used the years to acquire experience right up to the "old age" of 47.

Im 38 btw.

It's not really relevant what anyone else thinks! If you're biologically able to have a baby then it's fine to have one.

She is much more likely to miscarry at 47 though so tell your other friend to stop being a dick and prepare to be kind to her if necessary.

@Lovely1a2b3c

She is much more likely to miscarry at 47 though so tell your other friend to stop being a dick and prepare to be kind to her if necessary.

Your statistical evidence being?