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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Caught short

205 replies

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:08

I had a very embarrassing incident this morning. I was out walking with my 1.5 year old daughter in the pushchair and I needed to pee urgently. I walked towards the nearest shopping center but about 5 minutes away from it I felt like my chances of making it there were about 50/50, and even less of successfully getting my belt, jeans and pants down if I made it to the loo. I started looking for somewhere to go. There was a short street with an old bar that looked shut for years and a bit of wasteland with bin bags and some dumped household rubbish. It wasn't private exactly but I was really desperate so I quickly peed on the grass, sorted myself out and walked on. A woman from flats nearby started shouting out of her window at me, from the 2nd or 3rd floor. I walked round the corner quickly and continued towards the shopping center. She came running after me down the street in her pyjamas and dressing gown and said I was filthy and her children play there. All I could say was sorry, sorry, sorry and walked away quickly, she said she took a photo of me. I was really shaken after this, it happened just before 12 this morning. Obviously people shouldn't be peeing around everywhere but I was in serious danger of not being able to make it to a toilet. I also wonder if she would have the same reaction if I were a man. If there is such an emergency, isn't it reasonable to find somewhere to go? I didn't drop tissue there, just peed and got off. AIBU?

OP posts:
Cordial11 · 30/12/2020 01:59

Omg! Some of the reactions.

I have an extremely weak bladder and cannot hold it. I go where I need to in times of desperation there's no other option!

Crazy lady chasing you I'm sure animals etc pee in the exact same spot !

UndertheCedartree · 30/12/2020 01:59

Wouldn't it have been quicker to walk to the shopping centre 5 min away that search around for somewhere? I mean a bit of pee might have leaked out but you would have totally wet yourself? If so then I would say you are ready for incontenance pads maybe until you have worked on your pelvic floors - which I assume is the issue? By the way you might not feel ready for them but not on to disrespect those who do use them by calling them 'adult diapers'.

WoolieLiberal · 30/12/2020 09:15

Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be snarky.

I genuinely had this problem and know what products can help.

Tens Pants and Pads come in different strengths from ones that do just catch a dribble all the way up to ones that will catch a full bladder.

I only meant if it’s a frequent problem you might want to try them to prevent embarrassment in future.

Yes there are also adult nappy type things for severe incontinence but I don’t think you need to go that far.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2020 09:15

Of course Op doesn't need to wear incontinence pads. Just because a person has been caught short with a full bladder once does not mean they've lost bladder control and are incontinent.

Would posters really waste a doctor's time by making an appointment to tell them they once had to wee in an alley because they were bursting to go. Hmm

There's a limit to how long a person can hold a full bladder. God knows what superhuman bladder strengths some posters have. In fact it's unhealthy to hold a full bladder for too long. That can weaken the bladder muscles and also cause urinary tract infections due to a build up of bacteria.

What a fuss about a little bit of wee.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 30/12/2020 09:19

@UndertheCedartree

Wouldn't it have been quicker to walk to the shopping centre 5 min away that search around for somewhere? I mean a bit of pee might have leaked out but you would have totally wet yourself? If so then I would say you are ready for incontenance pads maybe until you have worked on your pelvic floors - which I assume is the issue? By the way you might not feel ready for them but not on to disrespect those who do use them by calling them 'adult diapers'.
I don't see anything wrong with using incontinence products at all! There are people in my family do. It's a very common issue especially with woman after child birth or a little bit older. That was my mistake to say adult diapers, I associate tena with pads and not the full pants so I apologise if that was offensive, that wasn't my meaning. I have no problem with my pelvic floor or continence issues! The problem was simply that I was out of the house for several hours. I walk for several hours everyday, my baby always has her nap in the pushchair and it's a good way to keep fit and keep my mental health good. I have never until yesterday been caught out like that! It can happen! It is more due to the after effects of an ectra morning cup of coffee! I was aiming for the shopping center but I don't know of I could make it, as I wrote. I would also mention, if it takes you 5 minutes to do a pee you might have some pelvic floor/UTI issue yourself?
OP posts:
Pumpertrumper · 30/12/2020 09:24

It does happen. When DS was tiny we had to make an essential trip. It was the height of lockdown and toilets were closed everywhere. I desperately needed a wee and had to go in the car using nappies to absorb. It was humiliating and gross.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 30/12/2020 09:26

@WoolieLiberal

Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be snarky.

I genuinely had this problem and know what products can help.

Tens Pants and Pads come in different strengths from ones that do just catch a dribble all the way up to ones that will catch a full bladder.

I only meant if it’s a frequent problem you might want to try them to prevent embarrassment in future.

Yes there are also adult nappy type things for severe incontinence but I don’t think you need to go that far.

Apologies from me too, I know that was a snarky reply as well, I was just getting enough of the comments that being bursting to go is a medical issue plus my daughter refusing to go to sleep. I didn't mean to cause offence or be short with you.
OP posts:
Soubriquet · 30/12/2020 09:32

It’s a bit of wee that has very likely to have been washed away by now

It’s not like the children were licking the floor!

Bleepers · 30/12/2020 11:36

Oh my word, people on this thread are completely insane 😂

WoolieLiberal · 30/12/2020 12:30

No need to apologise. I probably should have prefaced my replies suggesting Tena pants with the fact that if I was faced with a choice of peeing in public or wetting myself I would probably have done the same as you.

Without wishing to excite any pee trolls out there, until I exercised my pelvic floor back into shape there were a number of times when I was out with DDs when small that I completely lost control and stood there peeing myself like a toddler but the heavy duty Tenas held the lot and prevented any embarrassment.

Fortunately it’s no longer an issue but I can empathise as I always had bladder urgency and late bed wetting when younger (as did DD’s) until as an adult I discovered that the root cause was artificial sweeteners like aspartame that irritated my bladder.

If you have artificial sweeteners and cut them out, you may find it’s your miracle cure.

Solved my own urgency and both DD’s bed wetting virtually overnight when we stopped the artificially sweetened cordials (them), especially blackcurrent, and coffees (me).

hedgehogger1 · 30/12/2020 12:38

Just for future need the she wee I bought in lockdown came with some bags that have something absorbent in that you can wee into. Might be worth getting a couple to keep in your bag as well as making an appointment with the GP

Northernsoulgirl45 · 30/12/2020 12:43

As a keen walker I have had to wild wee a few times especially recently as places with toilets in are closed. Obviously this is in the countryside but I don't see wee as a huge health issue tbh. The bin bags more so.

Northernmummy80 · 30/12/2020 12:50

I feel so bad for you OP, I have ibs and so get stressed about toilets and being caught short.

It’s not nice but it’s better than peeing your pants.

Try not to stress out, it’s done and hopefully you won’t be caught out again. I have peed in a field before on a long countryside walk if that makes you feel slightly better.

VeganVeal · 30/12/2020 12:55

Pissing in the street, gross.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 30/12/2020 13:04

@VeganVeal

Pissing in the street, gross.
I agree, pissing in your jeans is grosser!
OP posts:
Lemons1571 · 30/12/2020 13:07

I imagine there’s far worse lurking on that wasteland than a bit of piss.

People here are extreme. Do you all have bulldog clips to stop the wee for however many hours you’re nowhere near a toilet?

ApplesinmyPocket · 31/12/2020 09:51

See, I don't doubt the story - lots of us have or will one day have similar incidents I expect - but I don't really know why anyone would post it on Mumsnet and "ask for opinions" on something that was really a non-event. Why do you want 'opinions'? the incident is done and dusted, no decision to make.

LilyMN says you've been on MN a long time so you must know how these things go - nearly everyone will reply saying you're disgusting, think of the children, etc; and a few others will reply intending to make you feel better by posting their own stories of desperate public urination - which is why the troll suspicions start up.

Haggertyjane · 31/12/2020 10:45

Dogs pee here there and everywhere. Yours isn't worse

WoolieLiberal · 31/12/2020 18:31

Every time there’s a pee type story I’m tempted to post something that is clearly troll fodder and then tell them it’s just fiction to take the thrill out of it right at the end.

I think anything pee, poo, periods or sexually active teenage daughter is at risk of being a troll magnet.

GreyMary23 · 31/12/2020 19:51

@WoolieLiberal that's a really daft view. This is an anonymous forum where people come to discuss personal or embarrassing things that could include pee, poo, periods or sex. I once posted about IBS issues and got accused of being a poo troll. It put me off posting again.

It's depressing that a forum of supposedly intelligent people immediately have to jump to such childish conclusions. Not saying these trolls don't exist but I would suspect there are more people with genuine issues looking for support than there are perverts Confused

BIWI · 31/12/2020 20:26

Sadly @GreyMary23 you are very wrong. This forum is rife with the kind of trolls who get off on this kind of thing. It spoils it for those of us who do want to talk about these issues, genuinely.

VetiverAndLavender · 31/12/2020 21:09

A littered wasteland near an old bar doesn't sound like a very nice place for her kids to be playing, honestly, whether or not someone's peed there recently. PJ lady has bigger problems than OP.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 31/12/2020 22:38

I've got a slightly dodgy bladder since I had radiotherapy and I'd have had to do the same. Literally I sometimes can't hold it.

itbemay1 · 31/12/2020 22:46

Honestly I would have peed myself and walked straight home rather than pee in a public place.

QuestionableMouse · 31/12/2020 23:25

@itbemay1

Honestly I would have peed myself and walked straight home rather than pee in a public place.
How is that any better? I'd say it's worse, actually.