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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Caught short

205 replies

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:08

I had a very embarrassing incident this morning. I was out walking with my 1.5 year old daughter in the pushchair and I needed to pee urgently. I walked towards the nearest shopping center but about 5 minutes away from it I felt like my chances of making it there were about 50/50, and even less of successfully getting my belt, jeans and pants down if I made it to the loo. I started looking for somewhere to go. There was a short street with an old bar that looked shut for years and a bit of wasteland with bin bags and some dumped household rubbish. It wasn't private exactly but I was really desperate so I quickly peed on the grass, sorted myself out and walked on. A woman from flats nearby started shouting out of her window at me, from the 2nd or 3rd floor. I walked round the corner quickly and continued towards the shopping center. She came running after me down the street in her pyjamas and dressing gown and said I was filthy and her children play there. All I could say was sorry, sorry, sorry and walked away quickly, she said she took a photo of me. I was really shaken after this, it happened just before 12 this morning. Obviously people shouldn't be peeing around everywhere but I was in serious danger of not being able to make it to a toilet. I also wonder if she would have the same reaction if I were a man. If there is such an emergency, isn't it reasonable to find somewhere to go? I didn't drop tissue there, just peed and got off. AIBU?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 29/12/2020 17:26

No, I don’t think it would be the same reaction if it were a bloke. You had no choice. Unpleasant as it is, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
If it’s a problem then wear Tena and see your GP.
Closing public toilets is a real problem in the pandemic. I don’t endorse pissing in public if you can avoid it but your only choice was to piss yourself. Not nice.

SilverBirchWithout · 29/12/2020 17:27

That being said, I can understand your desperation- I have a sensitive/reactive bladder myself. But to do it in a such a public place is pretty grim.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:28

@LST

OP I have been caught short many a time. Normally on walks in remote areas though. I can't see what else you could have done apart from piss yourself so I dont understand why you're getting such a hard time!
Yes, I was out walking for a couple of hours to see the snow and there aren't cafés or anything else open. Its not a nice thing but it's not toxic
OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 29/12/2020 17:29

I think a bloke is more likely to be prosecuted,, and potentially could end prosecuted as a sex offender for exposing themselves in a public place.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:33

The woman only saw me from above, there was no-one around in that area and it was on some waste land beside a derelict bar.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 29/12/2020 17:33

@SilverBirchWithout

I think a bloke is more likely to be prosecuted,, and potentially could end prosecuted as a sex offender for exposing themselves in a public place.
No. There has to be an intention of sexual gratification which there wouldn’t be if you were having a piss. Public Order maybe.
AnaisNun · 29/12/2020 17:34

OP... ignore the lunatics here. Of course you couldn’t piss yourself. For a good 2 years PP I had a bladder control issues and yes, have had to pee in a bush before. Even if you wore them- Tena will deal with leaks. Not a full piss.

Don’t worry about it- most normal, empathetic humans have a similar story- or at least have the good grace to understand that these things happen.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:40

Thank you, I'm also amazed that people have such a strong feeling about it but I did want to find out what was the opinion on it so I got what I asked for.

OP posts:
WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 29/12/2020 17:44

People are only permitted to pee in toilets on Mumsnet!

OP you're totally fine. Definitely not ideal but I don't think you had any other options or you would have taken them.

SunnyCoco · 29/12/2020 17:46

Aw I'm sorry.
It's horrible and it's embarrassing and it was your last resort - of course you couldn't have just wet yourself.
It's happened to me too.
Put it behind you, try not to think about it, and try to keep an eye on how much you drink etc before you go out next time.
It will be ok x

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 17:52

I would absolutely run down and chase after you to deter you from ever doing it again. Not fair on her and her kids. And unfortunately I think you may be in need of Tena if you have to go this urgently when out and about.

Actupfishy · 29/12/2020 17:53

No idea why your getting so much hate! This happened to me a few months ago (5 months pregnant) I was with my 5 year old who was mortified and told me to ‘hold it mummy!’ And I ended up just having to style it out whilst walking. Most mortifying moment of my life!

CharlotteRose90 · 29/12/2020 17:55

Christ people on here need to look at them selves. It’s wee Jesus. You did nothing wrong OP don’t let people put you down for doing something. You were desperate and it happened. If I’ve been desperate walking my dog I’ve done it in the park behind trees etc.

FreyaFromTheFens · 29/12/2020 17:56

I honestly have as many wild wees as I do on a toilet Grin

Admittedly when out walking the dogs out of sight behind a bush but my bladder control is shocking and I drink a lot of green tea!

You were caught out don’t worry about it and the woman in her pj’s doesn’t sound all there to be honest! Shame you couldn’t find anywhere more private but when you’re caught short there’s not a lot you can do.

scrivette · 29/12/2020 17:56

Ahh I feel for you.

It's not nice but what else were you to do? I was out for a walk earlier and wasn't sure I would make it home but it's a residential area and I don't know what I would have done if I was a bit further away.

I also wee in the woods if I am out for a long hike (at the base of a tree) dogs do it so it's not really that much difference.

TaraR2020 · 29/12/2020 18:00

@SunnyCoco

Aw I'm sorry. It's horrible and it's embarrassing and it was your last resort - of course you couldn't have just wet yourself. It's happened to me too. Put it behind you, try not to think about it, and try to keep an eye on how much you drink etc before you go out next time. It will be ok x
This.

Op please don't beat yourself up and ignore the haters, you know it was a one off and unplanned - a bladder emergency.

Shame that so many people don't consider difficulties people with medical conditions have.

Forgot about it and move on.

partyatthepalace · 29/12/2020 18:01

Not sure why people seem to think this is such an unlikely story or why they are so horrified. Surely getting caught short is something that happens. Can’t blame the lady in the flats either, especially if this patch of land is miss-used by kids at night etc, but awful experience for you. Sorry you had that OP Flowers

Carrotcakey · 29/12/2020 18:01

Oh bless you!! People are vile. Bladder issues are not fun and you dealt with it in the most sensible way. Either these people haven’t experienced such issues or just like being mean.

Most grass is covered in dog piss anyway, as well as pavements etc... so that’s not really an issue.

And nowadays you can be out for hours without their being a toilet to use.

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 18:03

Sorry, but there is a huge difference between having a wee in the woods when walking dogs and having one in a urban centre. I feel bad that you had to resort to this, but I would be really unhappy if I'd looked out of my living room window and saw this. Not that it sounds like you could have avoided it, but I'm not sure you should be so surprised that the woman was pretty upset about it.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 18:04

@SunnyCoco

Aw I'm sorry. It's horrible and it's embarrassing and it was your last resort - of course you couldn't have just wet yourself. It's happened to me too. Put it behind you, try not to think about it, and try to keep an eye on how much you drink etc before you go out next time. It will be ok x
Thank you, I walk outside for hours everyday with my daughter, and never a problem until today... Maybe its the cold! Now I think I am going to avoid that part of street for a few weeks because I do feel very embarrassed in case I saw the pyjama woman.
OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 18:05

Just to add, it sounds like this woman's view from her house it already not very pleasant and now needs to see members of the public urinating from her window.

islockdownoveryet · 29/12/2020 18:06

@vodkaredbullgirl

Ha Ha very funny, especially the part where the woman in her pjs chased you down the road.
Yeah made me laugh that bit Grin
SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 18:08

It's not exactly hygienic for kids playing amongst bin bags and dumped rubbish anyway. Don't worry Op, this is a non event and unless she had a telescopic lens, a photo of you from that far away wouldn't show anything.

You wee'd in an alleyway, people are acting as though you defecated in a children's soft play.

Ignore the hyperbole . prosecuted for sexual offences really, what a daft thing to say. Grin

viques · 29/12/2020 18:11

If it is next to a bar I don’t think you will have been the first to have peed on that bit of grass!

Finfintytint · 29/12/2020 18:12

@LaceyBetty

Sorry, but there is a huge difference between having a wee in the woods when walking dogs and having one in a urban centre. I feel bad that you had to resort to this, but I would be really unhappy if I'd looked out of my living room window and saw this. Not that it sounds like you could have avoided it, but I'm not sure you should be so surprised that the woman was pretty upset about it.
No huge diffence at all. You may not have any choice. You do not always have to he luxury of a comfort break when sitting on a crime scene for 10 hours+. Sorry if your sensitivity compromises decency but sometimes you have no choice. I’ve pissed in bushes and roadsides while maintaining scene preservation. The OP needed to go. Why shame her?