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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Caught short

205 replies

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:08

I had a very embarrassing incident this morning. I was out walking with my 1.5 year old daughter in the pushchair and I needed to pee urgently. I walked towards the nearest shopping center but about 5 minutes away from it I felt like my chances of making it there were about 50/50, and even less of successfully getting my belt, jeans and pants down if I made it to the loo. I started looking for somewhere to go. There was a short street with an old bar that looked shut for years and a bit of wasteland with bin bags and some dumped household rubbish. It wasn't private exactly but I was really desperate so I quickly peed on the grass, sorted myself out and walked on. A woman from flats nearby started shouting out of her window at me, from the 2nd or 3rd floor. I walked round the corner quickly and continued towards the shopping center. She came running after me down the street in her pyjamas and dressing gown and said I was filthy and her children play there. All I could say was sorry, sorry, sorry and walked away quickly, she said she took a photo of me. I was really shaken after this, it happened just before 12 this morning. Obviously people shouldn't be peeing around everywhere but I was in serious danger of not being able to make it to a toilet. I also wonder if she would have the same reaction if I were a man. If there is such an emergency, isn't it reasonable to find somewhere to go? I didn't drop tissue there, just peed and got off. AIBU?

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 29/12/2020 21:26

I caught a fella pissing tonight at work. Left him to it and went around the corner to laugh to myself. Not something I can get worked up over, especially in the rain when it'll wash away.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 21:29

@LaceyBetty

It's right outside someone's family home though.
I've answered this several times already, it was not 'right outside' her home. It was further away than the end of their garden, behind a fence on some waste land next to a disused bar and in a different street.
OP posts:
donnager · 29/12/2020 21:29

I don't see a problem with this. I'm sorry you were in a situation with no choice. If men are allowed to do it left, right and centre and dogs, then there's no problem as I'm sure you were mortified. I mean who the hell wants to pee in the streets if they had a choice?

GettingAwayWithIt · 29/12/2020 21:33

OP if you had to go, you had to go. Nobody would willingly pee in a backstreet just for fun!

To everyone who finds it disgusting, where do dogs urinate? They don’t even have the decency to find somewhere off track, just go all over the nearest lamppost / bench / car Hmm

Godimabitch · 29/12/2020 21:33

It happens. But you needed to find somewhere more private. Behind a wall with the buggy right tin front of you, no one would have known, could have just said you were sorting baby out.
Dont let it knaw at you, we all do things we shouldn't out of desperation, rather be shouted at than piss myself.

yikesanotherbooboo · 29/12/2020 21:33

Urine is sterile OP , you can't cause any harm. Don't feel bad, you did your best.

SilverBirchWithout · 29/12/2020 21:34

Loving how the location keeps changing ....

OP this happened AIBU
Responses 50/50
OP - well actually it was a bit more like this
Responses 60/40
OP - and also this
Responses 70/30

Time to go ..

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 21:34

Where are you getting 'in front of someone’s living room window' from? She was in a second or third floor flat, at was at the rear of the house, and I was further away than the length of her garden. Honestly I think you must be very bored and are just trying to get a rise out of me.
And incase you haven't noticed we are almost in lockdown situation, asking shops etc to use their restrooms is a thing of the past.

OP posts:
Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 21:37

@SilverBirchWithout

Loving how the location keeps changing ....

OP this happened AIBU
Responses 50/50
OP - well actually it was a bit more like this
Responses 60/40
OP - and also this
Responses 70/30

Time to go ..

What are you talking about? I haven't changed the location at all! Are you trying to say I'm a pee troll? I am not sure what you are insinuating here.
OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 29/12/2020 21:43

Poor you. When you have to go you have to go! If it's happened suddenly and quickly before I would go and see your GP. It's not easy at the moment with so much shut!

SilverBirchWithout · 29/12/2020 21:43

No don’t think you are a troll. It’s just a common AIBU technique to adapt the info as the thread goes on.
Don’t worry about it - all I was trying to do is see it from the PJ lady’s point of view.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 21:46

@AlwaysLatte

Poor you. When you have to go you have to go! If it's happened suddenly and quickly before I would go and see your GP. It's not easy at the moment with so much shut!
No it wasn't sudden at all, I had been holding for a good 45 minutes already.
OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 29/12/2020 21:49

I don't think this is all that bad: I've done similar and just am lucky not to have been caught.

I don't see the problem having a piss in a derelict area: blokes do this all the time. You were just unlucky to have been spotted.

People are so puritanical sometimes.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 21:51

@SilverBirchWithout

No don’t think you are a troll. It’s just a common AIBU technique to adapt the info as the thread goes on. Don’t worry about it - all I was trying to do is see it from the PJ lady’s point of view.
I understand where you are coming from, I really wasn't near her or her property. Shouting at me out of the window was OK but chasing me down the street I really feel was a bit much. I'm out walking with my baby, I'm not loitering on the corner drinking cans and going feral.
OP posts:
GreyMary23 · 29/12/2020 21:54

Some of the replies on here are fucking vile. A lot more disgusting than pissing in public!

Some people have medical issues (not just physical but mental) that can lead them to urgently need the toilet. I've suffered with anxiety for many years and one of my key symptoms during a panic attack is an urgent and sudden need to use the loo. It's a classic symptom of panic as the body goes into fight or flight mode and tries to purge everything inside. For a long time I was housebound because I was so afraid of something like the op describes happening to me in public. Especially during covid when pubs, cafes and public toilets have been closed.

I really do think that it's highly uncommon for rational people to do something like this for a laugh. You'd have to be in a pretty dire circumstance to resort to it. So maybe have a think about all the possible factors before labelling someone as disgusting. Small minded idiots.

Waveysnail · 29/12/2020 21:57

It's awful. I have bladder issues and basically ended up crying in an m&s that had closed the floor above which had the toilets. Lovely manager took me up. Otherwise would have ended up soaked

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 22:08

@Waveysnail

It's awful. I have bladder issues and basically ended up crying in an m&s that had closed the floor above which had the toilets. Lovely manager took me up. Otherwise would have ended up soaked
I'm really glad that the manager showed some humanity. I was pregnant in a city in China when they shut down all the metro station toilets, it was torture mental and physical.
OP posts:
MisfitNotMissFit · 29/12/2020 22:23

Ffs talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. It was a caught short moment, where nothing else could have been done other than pissing herself. Have a little bloody sympathy people.

I have diabetes and one of the symptoms, prior to actual diagnosis, is peeing frequently. Shortly before I was diagnosed, I ended up holding in my wee too long and my bladder went into spasm for four days. I was in absolute agony. I never again want to experience that pain and would take my chances having an al fresco wee from now on. We don't all have a pelvic floor you could bounce a pound coin on.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 22:24

@LaceyBetty

It's right outside someone's family home though.
Yeah with rat, cat, and fox poo together with fungi etc. Sounds like the OP was as discreet as possible.
SpudulikaSlob · 29/12/2020 22:34

"Yeah, right. That’s why there are loads of Edwardian and Victorian housing still standing. Nobody’s ever pissed against them. hmm"

Maybe turn your quote on if you want to be The Big I Am and quote everyone else, eh @spidey66.
Here ya go, persistent piss damages buildings:
Pee problem eroding world's tallest church www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-37751168

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 22:40

I don't actually think a lot of posters are saying the OP is "disgusting" just that I can possibly understand the frustration of the woman in the pj's who looks out her window and may on a regular basis see people urinating in her line of sight. Probably given this is described as a derelict spot, it probably happens a lot and she may be sick of it. The distance of the OP from this window did increase as the thread went on.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 29/12/2020 22:40

Hmmmm.. kind of on the fence with this one. Because yes, we have all had those moments, post DC. But a few weeks ago, I was walking down the alleyway to the next street and there were two blokes having a piss in the earth that had just been dug up by our local community group in order to create a new set of flowerbeds.

I snapped at them 'People actually do live here, you know?' 'Yeah, but it's a council estate to the other side, so who cares?' 'I damn well do, because I LIVE on that council estate.' To be fair to them, they did say sorry, but the assumption that it's somehow ok because it's a rundown area just isn't bloody on.

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 22:42

@Spidey66 so it's ok to add urine to this? Again, I get that the OP was in an impossible situation, but this is the pj woman's immediate neighbourhood.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 22:43

03LakieLady

*nancybotwinbloom

You know what? If a women knocked at my door and explained I'd let her go.

Not allowed in Tier 4!*

I'd probably let her, T4 or no T4. Just socially distance and expect mask/handwashing. I doubt the Met Police would arrest me for being flexible.

I'm a CPN. In lockdown v.1.0 I was pounding the streets of Hackney administering injections. One day I was bursting for a wee. For various reasons I don't like going in patients homes. I was close to a GP surgery on my 'patch and thought oh,they'll let me in. I got buzzed in cos the reception staff thought I was in for a meeting. I showed my ID and explained, no, I was a CPN and needed a wee. She refused. Hmm I'm standing in front of her saying 'Are you for real? I'm looking after your patients, we're both NHS staff, you were happy for me to come in for a meeting but not a wee?' I explained I'd had the sniffles a few days before and had had a negative covid test but was happy to use wipes etc on the loo seat....still no.

I was like this fella --Shock completely gobsmacked.

It being lockdown, no other loos available and i ended up going back to base 2 mikes away. Which sounds fine bur idont drive.....fortunately I was with a colleague who does. If not it would be 30 mins on the bus, and my pelvic floor would not have held out.

I emailed the surgery on my return, as I was sooo angry. To be fair, the practice manager was lovely and mortified and the receptionist was given a bollocking, and they were all informed other community staff were allowed in to use the loos.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 22:47

It being a run down area is not an excuse. I live in the same general area too. Had I been in a posh area the same would have happened and maybe I'd have to pee between cars as a couple of posters already suggested!

OP posts: