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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Caught short

205 replies

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:08

I had a very embarrassing incident this morning. I was out walking with my 1.5 year old daughter in the pushchair and I needed to pee urgently. I walked towards the nearest shopping center but about 5 minutes away from it I felt like my chances of making it there were about 50/50, and even less of successfully getting my belt, jeans and pants down if I made it to the loo. I started looking for somewhere to go. There was a short street with an old bar that looked shut for years and a bit of wasteland with bin bags and some dumped household rubbish. It wasn't private exactly but I was really desperate so I quickly peed on the grass, sorted myself out and walked on. A woman from flats nearby started shouting out of her window at me, from the 2nd or 3rd floor. I walked round the corner quickly and continued towards the shopping center. She came running after me down the street in her pyjamas and dressing gown and said I was filthy and her children play there. All I could say was sorry, sorry, sorry and walked away quickly, she said she took a photo of me. I was really shaken after this, it happened just before 12 this morning. Obviously people shouldn't be peeing around everywhere but I was in serious danger of not being able to make it to a toilet. I also wonder if she would have the same reaction if I were a man. If there is such an emergency, isn't it reasonable to find somewhere to go? I didn't drop tissue there, just peed and got off. AIBU?

OP posts:

amicissimma · 29/12/2020 22:48

Judging from all the bits of tissue and wipes (who uses a wipe - they never biodegrade?) in the bushes along some of our local walks, your predicament is very common indeed.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 22:51

[quote LaceyBetty]@Spidey66 so it's ok to add urine to this? Again, I get that the OP was in an impossible situation, but this is the pj woman's immediate neighbourhood. [/quote]
Unless shes had 10 pints of cider, and its the middle of a heatwave, it's hardly going to be much, is it? Its December, its probably going to rain tomorrow and wash it off. Not ideal, no, but hardly worth making an already embarrassed woman worse. But if you've been in the OPs situation maybe you'd have some more empathy.

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 22:55

I'd have done the same as the OP I'm sure, but also wouldn't be surprised if I'd received some harsh words from a local resident who saw me for their window.

Original poster

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 23:00

@LaceyBetty

I'd have done the same as the OP I'm sure, but also wouldn't be surprised if I'd received some harsh words from a local resident who saw me for their window.

I thought shouting out of the window was within reason and did startle me. Running after me in the street and taking my photo I don't think is reasonable.

OP posts:

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 23:01

[quote SpudulikaSlob]"Yeah, right. That’s why there are loads of Edwardian and Victorian housing still standing. Nobody’s ever pissed against them. hmm"

GreyMary23 · 29/12/2020 23:04

The woman running after her and taking her photo probably did so with the intention of shaming her on social media. Utterly disgusting to try and further humiliate someone in a vulnerable moment like that.

LaceyBetty · 29/12/2020 23:05

@cockcrowfarm that's fair enough. A bit of an OTT reaction for sure.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 23:10

[quote SpudulikaSlob]"Yeah, right. That’s why there are loads of Edwardian and Victorian housing still standing. Nobody’s ever pissed against them. hmm"

Maybe turn your quote on if you want to be The Big I Am and quote everyone else, eh @spidey66.
Here ya go, persistent piss damages buildings:
Pee problem eroding world's tallest church www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-37751168[/quote]
Sorry to get back to your example.....one building in the whole wide world damaged by wee. How many havent? Plenty of alleys up the sides of clubs/pubs haven't. Plus the OP doesn't describe weeing against a wall so it's a moot point anyway.

saffire · 29/12/2020 23:39

If you can't control your bladder you need to start wearing pads.
Or, see your gp as you might have a uti. It's not normal to feel like you're going to wet yourself.

CarefreeandInnocent · 29/12/2020 23:40

@cockcrowfarm

It is unfortunately true. I wanted to get some opinion on it. I felt terrible about it but after when I was thinking about it I don't know what else I could do in the situation. There are a lack of public toilets and there are many reasons that some one might have to go.

You felt terrible about it? Terrible seems a bit strong. Not your finest hour and I can understand being a bit embarrassed but terrible??

WoolieLiberal · 29/12/2020 23:49

Just buy the Tena Pants already! They come
in black so no-one needs to notice.

Saved so many women’s’
Blushes over the years I’m
Sure!

blubberyboo · 29/12/2020 23:49

The same people complaining here probably let their dogs piss everywhere outside.
Never mind all the wild animals that excrete fluids all the time

Massive overreaction

Original poster

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 23:50

@saffire

If you can't control your bladder you need to start wearing pads. Or, see your gp as you might have a uti. It's not normal to feel like you're going to wet yourself.

If you read the previous posts you would see that I didn't suddenly need to go, I needed for a long time before, thanks for your concern. I don't think pads are designed to hold a full adult pee, they are for 'leakages'.

OP posts:

Mollyboom · 29/12/2020 23:50

Don't stress- I do it often. To be honest I'd rather piss al fresco than in a stinking toilet. A little bit of piss on some grass won't harm anybody.

Trickyboy · 29/12/2020 23:52

The lack of public conveniences is really fucking inconvenient! Let me tell you as someone with severe IBS I know how you felt (and worse) ..

It may be of help to you to know that all the councils in England and Wales (not sure about Scotland) pay shops a certain amount a year to allow the public to use their loo with out the need to purchase anything. I think it's between £400-2k a year. The list of shops in the scheme are on your council website.

Original poster

cockcrowfarm · 30/12/2020 00:00

@WoolieLiberal

Just buy the Tena Pants already! They come in black so no-one needs to notice.

Saved so many women’s’
Blushes over the years I’m
Sure!

Tena pants are not for pissing in, they catch leaks, that would have done nothing to help me today! Do you suggest I wear nappies on the off chance that I might need to pee? If you'd read some of the thread you would have seen this suggestion has been made before and it is neither practical or funny and shows your ignorance on female hygiene products. Thanks for the suggestion.

OP posts:

ChanklyBore · 30/12/2020 00:10

I am often out of range of toilets, public or private, for 8-10 hours.

And have dangled many a DC for a wild wee.

Could just have easily been your potty training DC suddenly desperate. It’s just wee.

There was once nice day when I was on a megabus overnighter which had an out of order toilet. Their solution was to stop at service stations to let people out to wee. Half of them were asleep and jamming other people into the seats. Eleven hours I was on that bus.

caringcarer · 30/12/2020 00:43

If you can't control your bladder you should not go far from your house. Do you have an infection that is making you desparately needing to wee? You need to see your GP urgently if you can't walk 5 mins to a shopping centre and have to resort to weeing in public. That is disgusting. Wear a Tena lady if you need to go out again until you get it sorted. Hopefully your GP can refer you to a urinary specialist. You might want to work on pelvic muscles. Not nice for residents to look out of windows and see people weeing in public.

saffire · 30/12/2020 00:58

Some pads can hold a full adult wee.
And if you needed to go for some time, you should've headed home.

It's pretty grim to pee in public, or probably in your case on private land. And in some places it's illegal. Not to mention other offences that the police could slap you with.

At least do some pelvic floor exercises to avoid it in future!

Original poster

cockcrowfarm · 30/12/2020 01:35

@saffire

Some pads can hold a full adult wee. And if you needed to go for some time, you should've headed home.

It's pretty grim to pee in public, or probably in your case on private land. And in some places it's illegal. Not to mention other offences that the police could slap you with.

At least do some pelvic floor exercises to avoid it in future!

What offences could the police slap me with? I find it very hard to believe the police would care.

OP posts:

BubblyBarbara · 30/12/2020 01:37

It's a fact of life that sometimes in life we might need to do a cheeky wee or poo outside of the socially accepted parameters in life. I'm not going to confess to my own ablutionary sins here but believe me I've had to do both.

ParlezVousWronglais · 30/12/2020 01:49

Oh here we go a poo comment has arrived. I wondered how long it would be.

MountDoom · 30/12/2020 01:49

Fucks sake, some people really need to unclench.

OP I've done similar on many occasions. Perhaps in slightly more secluded locations but whatever, this really isn't worth worrying about at all.

coldwaterfeed · 30/12/2020 01:54

Of curse men get away much more with peeing in public when women can’t. Anyone denying this is deluded.

GracieLouFreebushh · 30/12/2020 01:57

It's awful that someone would chase you and take your photo - as if you wouldn't feel embarrassed enough. I would hope that because you're pushing a little one in a buggy and everywhere is shut - that people would give you a break - we all know that the good old pelvic floor can be, erm, fucked after this. Luckily I've not had this outside but have had the doorstep dance many times when I have barely made it to the loo inside!! Try not to worry and don't feel bad - sometimes our bodies do things we don't expect.

Try not to worry about that woman - what kind of person would chase someone down, shouting and wearing pyjamas - you paint a picture there 😂.

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