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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Caught short

205 replies

cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 17:08

I had a very embarrassing incident this morning. I was out walking with my 1.5 year old daughter in the pushchair and I needed to pee urgently. I walked towards the nearest shopping center but about 5 minutes away from it I felt like my chances of making it there were about 50/50, and even less of successfully getting my belt, jeans and pants down if I made it to the loo. I started looking for somewhere to go. There was a short street with an old bar that looked shut for years and a bit of wasteland with bin bags and some dumped household rubbish. It wasn't private exactly but I was really desperate so I quickly peed on the grass, sorted myself out and walked on. A woman from flats nearby started shouting out of her window at me, from the 2nd or 3rd floor. I walked round the corner quickly and continued towards the shopping center. She came running after me down the street in her pyjamas and dressing gown and said I was filthy and her children play there. All I could say was sorry, sorry, sorry and walked away quickly, she said she took a photo of me. I was really shaken after this, it happened just before 12 this morning. Obviously people shouldn't be peeing around everywhere but I was in serious danger of not being able to make it to a toilet. I also wonder if she would have the same reaction if I were a man. If there is such an emergency, isn't it reasonable to find somewhere to go? I didn't drop tissue there, just peed and got off. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sandalison · 29/12/2020 19:13

Oh gosh I pee behind bushes all the time when I’m out on a long country walk. I’ve been caught short many a time in a town too, but normally would pop into a supermarket or pub. Of course you haven’t had that option, so I’d have done the same as you did. YANBU.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 29/12/2020 19:14

Ooh, it just occurred to me-could pyjama woman have mistakenly thought you were taking a dump? Sorry, disgusting, I know, but some areas do have issues with human excrement-maybe this could explain her reaction? Still not your problem of course, OP

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 29/12/2020 19:15

You need to see a gp about pelvic floor. And go before you leave the house Hmm

grassisjeweled · 29/12/2020 19:15

Meh. I can't get worked up about this one

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 29/12/2020 19:23

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

You need to see a gp about pelvic floor. And go before you leave the house Hmm
Nice patronising reply there 👍
Haggertyjane · 29/12/2020 19:27

Honestly what were you supposed to do. I can't imagine her children playing any day soon on soggy muddy wasteland. I have been in an even more embarrassing situation so feel for you

Haggertyjane · 29/12/2020 19:28

I'm sure dogs pee there all the time

Crowsandshivers · 29/12/2020 19:30

What option did you have? I have known people who have wet themselves before so I think the did the best thing. Ignore the haters. They clearly don't ever need to go for a wee. As others said, it is no different to a dog peeing.......

namechangetheworld · 29/12/2020 19:32

Some of these responses are mental.

I have terrible bladder control. A few weeks ago I had to pull the car over down a quiet country lane and have a wee in one of my children's water bottles (which was thrown out afterwards, I hasten to add!) It was that, or do it all over the leather seats.

I would wee in an alley without even giving it a second thought.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 19:35

I hope none of you guys have continence issues as you get older. It's horrible and attitudes like those here mean itsvrarely discussed and prevents people getting help for it.

Horrible, judgemental people.

TinselToedElf · 29/12/2020 19:36

It's happened to me before, was the first indication I had a UTI. I was mortified.

Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 19:39

@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream

Ooh, it just occurred to me-could pyjama woman have mistakenly thought you were taking a dump? Sorry, disgusting, I know, but some areas do have issues with human excrement-maybe this could explain her reaction? Still not your problem of course, OP
Possible, but that would have been the quickest dump ever!
OP posts:
Original poster
cockcrowfarm · 29/12/2020 19:40

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

You need to see a gp about pelvic floor. And go before you leave the house Hmm
Thanks for the useful and reassuring advice
OP posts:
Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 19:44

@LaceyBetty

Sorry, but there is a huge difference between having a wee in the woods when walking dogs and having one in a urban centre. I feel bad that you had to resort to this, but I would be really unhappy if I'd looked out of my living room window and saw this. Not that it sounds like you could have avoided it, but I'm not sure you should be so surprised that the woman was pretty upset about it.
But if you're in a Tier 4 area, it is almost like being in a rural area at the moment. Total lack of public loos, no pubs, McDonald's, cafes etc.

I have issues sometimes with bladder control. Since going into Tier 3 and then 4 I avoid going out unless it's totally unavoidable and for as short a time as possible when I do.

Tsubasa1 · 29/12/2020 19:45

Sorry this happened to you OP, obviously you weren't going to wet yourself! I think that lady was overreacting. It wasn't her garden or property.

Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails · 29/12/2020 19:46

I once had to do a poo in a empty sandwich packet in the corner of a car park.

Shit happens.

When you have to go, you have to go.

FindMeInTheSunshine · 29/12/2020 19:48

Huge sympathy for you OP, it's a horrible situation to be in, and made even more distressing by both the weird woman at the time and the reaction of some of the people on here who clearly have never had to deal with those issues and therefore can't understand them.

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 29/12/2020 19:50

I feel your pain OP. I literally can't even go for a walk with a takeaway coffee as I'd need to find a toilet. So much harder just now during lockdown as everywhere is closed. I find myself constantly planning ahead for the toilet situation. I pee before I leave the house, avoid drinking when I'm out but I'll still need to go at some point.

That woman was awful to you, don't feel bad x

rawlikesushi · 29/12/2020 19:51

I'm on the fence. Obviously, you were in dire and desperate need so I'm not unsympathetic. But if me and my kids looked out of our window right now and saw a squatting woman taking a piss I think I'd have something to say about it too tbh.

Spidey66 · 29/12/2020 19:52

Funny how some MNers can be all woke and sympathetic about certain issues like mental health issues, learning disabilities, autism etc but can't have an iota of support for a distressed woman whose very embarrassed.

nancybotwinbloom · 29/12/2020 19:56

You know what? If a women knocked at my door and explained I'd let her go.

Figgyboa · 29/12/2020 20:00

Pretty gross OP

LakieLady · 29/12/2020 20:03

@nancybotwinbloom

You know what? If a women knocked at my door and explained I'd let her go.
Not allowed in Tier 4!
MysweetAudrina · 29/12/2020 20:03

All of those drivers stuck last week were shitting and pissing all over the place. MN is beyond weird when it comes to toileting. If a workman shits in their actual toilet it traumatises them.

JanewaysBun · 29/12/2020 20:06

I'm glad youbdid that @coolerthanapolarbearstoenails as I had a similar lockdown experience!

I've had bladder issues my whole life, I sympathise OP, she's a twat for taking a picture

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