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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that my DM helped herself to nearly all the chocolates?

306 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 27/12/2020 19:09

My PILs gave DH and me a big tub of heroes for Christmas - we opened them last Sunday, but hadn’t got through that many- I’d had a couple of the fudge and eclair ones, DH had had a few, but we hadn’t made much of a dent in them. There was probably 80% left.

My DM, who is extremely hard work at the best of times (and who, incidentally, is type 2 diabetic and paid a small fortune for hypnotherapy to cure her of her “chocolate addiction” 18 months ago), came to us on Christmas Eve, bringing with her a big tin of Quality Street that I ended up giving to the bloke who voluntarily drove here at 3am Christmas morning to pick up the prescription for all her meds that she left at home, as a gesture of thanks (that’s a whole other fucking saga).

We took her home today, when we got back I opened the tub of heroes, thinking I would love a crunchie, to find it virtually empty- a few dairy milks and double deckers are all that remain. I knew Mum had had a few (she talked about the “guilty secrets” in the bin in her room that she tried to hide, which turned out to be wrappers) but I hadn’t realised she’d scarfed nearly the whole tub. I asked her about it, and among her responses were “Alcohol is far worse than chocolate!”, “Oh poor you! There wasn’t any Twirls either!” “I did buy you a big box of chocolates, so not thoughtless. But then you gave them away!!”

She’s got through more in 3 days than DH and me put together in a week, and apparently she’s not even sorry. AIBU to think that’s a bit bloody rude?

OP posts:
namechange202086 · 27/12/2020 19:15

It's Christmas, I would just let it go and buy more. Yes, I would be slightly annoyed.

HidingInTheToiletFor5minsPeace · 27/12/2020 19:16

A bit annoying but I would honestly let it go.

GrettaGreen · 27/12/2020 19:16

Tbh I think unless you're on the poverty line and that's the only sweet treat you have in over Christmas, you're being petty.

LuciaLemon · 27/12/2020 19:17

Christ who actually gives a shit?

Screwcorona · 27/12/2020 19:18

I'd not be bothered about her eating my chocolates. I would be concerned about her not taking her diabetes seriously

LobotheBotanist · 27/12/2020 19:18

Who the fuck counts how many chocolates their family/guests eat.. and not just that, then also holds it against them Confused

Beyond weird, also quite stingy and grudgy

LongPauseNoAnswer · 27/12/2020 19:19

Don’t underestimate the power of sugar addiction. Please do some research about it. Read Pure, White and Deady. Look up Robert Lustigs video on YouTube called Sugar, the bitter truth. It’s an addiction like alcohol or drugs. I know because I’m battling it every day. Please don’t embarrass her.

BestOfABadLot · 27/12/2020 19:21

Sounds like she's still a bit addicted to chocolate. I wouldn't make a guest feel bad for being greedy at Christmas. I suspect if she wasn't such hard work though this wouldn't bother you half as much.

grapewine · 27/12/2020 19:22

You questioned your mother about how much of your chocolate she ate? Jesus. Chill out and buy a new box.

partyatthepalace · 27/12/2020 19:24

It’s annoying but it’s cheap chocolate and if she’s having hypnotherapy for her eating habits she’s obviously got some issues - so cut her some slack and go buy some more.

iamyourequal · 27/12/2020 19:25

It’s pretty inconsiderate of her, but she hasn’t scoffed a 2lb box of Charbonnel & Walker. It’s Heroes. I think you should just treat yourself to a replacement tub and enjoy them over the rest of the holidays.

Laiste · 27/12/2020 19:25

So - an 80% full tub of Heros between 3 adults for 3 days at xmas is now nearly all gone (not all gone mind you) and you're pissed off??

Confused

How long were you hoping they'd last OP?

pilates · 27/12/2020 19:27

It wouldn’t bother me at all. Go and buy another tub.

MissMarks · 27/12/2020 19:28

Wise up. You sound really mean- it is your mum FFS. Go and buy a new tub and stop being tight.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/12/2020 19:28

@Screwcorona

I'd not be bothered about her eating my chocolates. I would be concerned about her not taking her diabetes seriously
This. If the fear of death doesn't put her off, your annoyance won't.
OverTheRainbow88 · 27/12/2020 19:29

I’m Shocked your first choice was a fudge and then an eclair followed by a crunchie

They are like the worst ones!!!!’

LubaLuca · 27/12/2020 19:30

If those are your only Christmas sweets, she should have gone easy on them. But she possibly assumed there was plenty available so thought she had carte blanche on the cheap and cheerful sharing tub.

My mum's a bugger for working her way through the Quality Street, but that's ok. I want her to feel relaxed enough to help herself without feeling someone's monitoring her (generally out of character) greed.

Scarlettpixie · 27/12/2020 19:30

Christ it’s a £4 tub of chocolates! Wow. I can’t believe you questioned her about it!

picklemewalnuts · 27/12/2020 19:30

I wouldn't be too bothered by it- a bit bothered though. I was furious when DM helped herself to one of my Lindt chocs that wasn't out, was in a jar on the side. I was rationing myself, and felt hugely threatened by her eating one! Nearly ate the jar in one sitting in response!

Lesina · 27/12/2020 19:30

Oh for the love of god... it’s a 3.99 tub of shite chocolate. Get over and move on,

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 27/12/2020 19:31

Your mum is a self confessed chocaholic and you’re surprised there’s not many heroes left in the tub after she visited for several days? Just get a new tub and get over it. I can’t believe you confronted her about it.

Charlie63849 · 27/12/2020 19:32

It’s a few bloody chocolates. Lighten up.

Do they have to last until Easter or something?

AngeloMysterioso · 27/12/2020 19:33

@Screwcorona

I'd not be bothered about her eating my chocolates. I would be concerned about her not taking her diabetes seriously
Well, exactly. According to her, now that she’s on an injection and other medication, it’s “under control”, therefore she’s absolved of any responsibility for her own health and she can eat as much as she wants of whatever the fuck she likes. In the meantime, her eyesight is deteriorating to the point that her optician wouldn’t let her drive herself home from her appointment (her first in four years) a couple of weeks ago- which was another problem I had to solve for her, from 60 miles away.

I’m not generally stingy, this was just the straw that broke my back today.

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 19:34

Who cares. Doesn't sound like you like your mum very much!

Schmoozer · 27/12/2020 19:34

Poor woman clearly struggles the control her chocolate consumption
She’s even been to hypnosis - she’s clearly aware of the problem
Christmas is a difficult time for people with compulsive eating behaviours
Don’t shame her and be grateful you can control your chocolate consumption.