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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that my DM helped herself to nearly all the chocolates?

306 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 27/12/2020 19:09

My PILs gave DH and me a big tub of heroes for Christmas - we opened them last Sunday, but hadn’t got through that many- I’d had a couple of the fudge and eclair ones, DH had had a few, but we hadn’t made much of a dent in them. There was probably 80% left.

My DM, who is extremely hard work at the best of times (and who, incidentally, is type 2 diabetic and paid a small fortune for hypnotherapy to cure her of her “chocolate addiction” 18 months ago), came to us on Christmas Eve, bringing with her a big tin of Quality Street that I ended up giving to the bloke who voluntarily drove here at 3am Christmas morning to pick up the prescription for all her meds that she left at home, as a gesture of thanks (that’s a whole other fucking saga).

We took her home today, when we got back I opened the tub of heroes, thinking I would love a crunchie, to find it virtually empty- a few dairy milks and double deckers are all that remain. I knew Mum had had a few (she talked about the “guilty secrets” in the bin in her room that she tried to hide, which turned out to be wrappers) but I hadn’t realised she’d scarfed nearly the whole tub. I asked her about it, and among her responses were “Alcohol is far worse than chocolate!”, “Oh poor you! There wasn’t any Twirls either!” “I did buy you a big box of chocolates, so not thoughtless. But then you gave them away!!”

She’s got through more in 3 days than DH and me put together in a week, and apparently she’s not even sorry. AIBU to think that’s a bit bloody rude?

OP posts:
mam0918 · 27/12/2020 21:07

so she ate the chocolates from PIL because she planned to eat the ones she bought you as a gift but you gave them away?

thats rude, you dont buy a gift to help yourself too it and you dont take someone elses gift.

Would people still think this was ok if she had used half a bottle of expensive purfume or helped herself to trying on your clothes and streached them out etc... being a guest doesnt mean you get to do whatever you like and gluttony/theft are never acceptible weather its food or not.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 27/12/2020 21:07

There's asking and there's telling asking.

Regardless this is clearly not about chocolates. OP sounds like she doesn't like her DM very much... whether that's justified is a whole other thread I'm sure.

chillimartini · 27/12/2020 21:07

Are you annoyed about the chocolates or worried about her health? If the latter, why did you leave them out? Common sense op?

Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 21:09

@mam0918

so she ate the chocolates from PIL because she planned to eat the ones she bought you as a gift but you gave them away?

thats rude, you dont buy a gift to help yourself too it and you dont take someone elses gift.

Would people still think this was ok if she had used half a bottle of expensive purfume or helped herself to trying on your clothes and streached them out etc... being a guest doesnt mean you get to do whatever you like and gluttony/theft are never acceptible weather its food or not.

Oh come off it.

If you go to someones house and take a tub of heroes (someone's house - your own bloody child's) i think most people expect to eat them together.

Darbs76 · 27/12/2020 21:10

Be glad you got to see your mum at Christmas. They cost £4, just go and buy more

Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 21:10

@MyCatHatesEverybody

There's asking and there's telling asking.

Regardless this is clearly not about chocolates. OP sounds like she doesn't like her DM very much... whether that's justified is a whole other thread I'm sure.

This.

We didn't need the back story about DM being difficult and her medication being forgotten but there it was anyway.

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 27/12/2020 21:11

It’s about 3 quid a box, in fact it’s the sales now so you could probably get one cheaper than that. Definitely not worth getting worked up over!

bloodyhairy · 27/12/2020 21:18

Good God, it's Christmas, and this is a total non-issue.

Actupfishy · 27/12/2020 21:20

Oh godlighten up!

Branleuse · 27/12/2020 21:22

poor woman. you talk to her like a child

Thenose · 27/12/2020 21:22

What others eat is none of your business, and it was rude to bring it up. If you don't want to share something freely and without judgement, put it away out of sight.

Livpool · 27/12/2020 21:23

This wouldn't bother me - they are for eating x

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/12/2020 21:23

You can buy a multipack of 4 crunchies for £1 all year round. Let it go

Cagedbirdsinging · 27/12/2020 21:23

OP ..." a blow-job" !
He will be hoping and praying that you don't have any spare boxes of chocolates hanging around next time he is asked to do a middle of the night drugs-run for your mother !

MadCattery · 27/12/2020 21:23

Diabetics are the least compliant patients. My Ex-H, Type 2, ended up on insulin and like every person I’ve ever known who made the jump from pills to injections, took about two weeks to figure out that he could eat what he wanted and just use a little extra insulin. He’s gone now, died at 56, having dug himself an early grave with a dinner fork. It’s terrible to watch, and I did care about him even after he became an Ex. If you want to stop smoking, drinking, biting your nails, you won’t die if you stop completely, but you do have to eat to live. And every grocery store, every kitchen, every social gathering is overflowing with temping, but bad, choices. It’s like an addiction, really, to tasty but bad foods. And, we have to eat. It’s easier to be understanding when you think about it that way, and when your DM is around, try to think ahead and keep healthier choices on hand and hide the chocolates as far away as you can!

EarringsandLipstick · 27/12/2020 21:26

@LuciaLemon

Christ who actually gives a shit?
Exactly this. Good God. This much angst over a box of chocolates 🤦🏻‍♀️
Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 21:28

@Cagedbirdsinging

OP ..." a blow-job" ! He will be hoping and praying that you don't have any spare boxes of chocolates hanging around next time he is asked to do a middle of the night drugs-run for your mother !
What?!
Backtoblack1 · 27/12/2020 21:36

My son has munched his way through all
The ferrero rochers that I bought - two big boxes. But so what, it’s Christmas.

Coyoacan · 27/12/2020 21:36

I'm most concerned about your poor MIL's uncontrolled diabetes.

My FIL had diabetes from his early forties and lived until he was ninety. But he was careful of what he ate.

Could you not at least buy her chocolates for diabetics?

DfEisashambles · 27/12/2020 21:37

I’d be far more concerned about her health, my DM is much more to me than some cheap chocolates. Get a grip woman.

Cagedbirdsinging · 27/12/2020 21:39

@Wheresmykimchi... OP was asked upthread what she would have given the driver had she not had chocolates with which to thank him for his assistance .
"A blow-job" , she replied .

Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 21:41

[quote Cagedbirdsinging]@Wheresmykimchi... OP was asked upthread what she would have given the driver had she not had chocolates with which to thank him for his assistance .
"A blow-job" , she replied .[/quote]
Oh I missed that!

Wheresmykimchi · 27/12/2020 21:42

@AngeloMysterioso

What would you have given the chap who did the meds run had your mum not brought the tin of Quality Street with her?

A blowjob.

Wow.
NorbertMeubles · 27/12/2020 21:43

Fuck me. Get to the shop and buy some more. What a ridiculous thread.

ContessaDiPulpo · 27/12/2020 21:47

@AngeloMysterioso

What would you have given the chap who did the meds run had your mum not brought the tin of Quality Street with her?

A blowjob.

I love you OP.

Also, as another person with a dead mother (Hmm) I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.