To be pissed off that my DM helped herself to nearly all the chocolates?

[AngeloMysterioso]

My PILs gave DH and me a big tub of heroes for Christmas - we opened them last Sunday, but hadn’t got through that many- I’d had a couple of the fudge and eclair ones, DH had had a few, but we hadn’t made much of a dent in them. There was probably 80% left.

My DM, who is extremely hard work at the best of times (and who, incidentally, is type 2 diabetic and paid a small fortune for hypnotherapy to cure her of her “chocolate addiction” 18 months ago), came to us on Christmas Eve, bringing with her a big tin of Quality Street that I ended up giving to the bloke who voluntarily drove here at 3am Christmas morning to pick up the prescription for all her meds that she left at home, as a gesture of thanks (that’s a whole other fucking saga).

We took her home today, when we got back I opened the tub of heroes, thinking I would love a crunchie, to find it virtually empty- a few dairy milks and double deckers are all that remain. I knew Mum had had a few (she talked about the “guilty secrets” in the bin in her room that she tried to hide, which turned out to be wrappers) but I hadn’t realised she’d scarfed nearly the whole tub. I asked her about it, and among her responses were “Alcohol is far worse than chocolate!”, “Oh poor you! There wasn’t any Twirls either!” “I did buy you a big box of chocolates, so not thoughtless. But then you gave them away!!”

She’s got through more in 3 days than DH and me put together in a week, and apparently she’s not even sorry. AIBU to think that’s a bit bloody rude?

If you know she has issues with chocolates then you shouldn’t have left them around.

i could be guilty of doing this but I'd definitely buy a replacement for you

We had this with a family member last year. We hide all the chocolate in the house now when they visit as the only time she could have eaten them was the middle of the night. I think you've got issues if you're waiting till everyone's asleep before you creep downstairs to fill your face with the family chocolates 😂

They're £4 a tub. Get a new one.

You are allowed to be scared for her and frustrated but anger won’t help.

Of course yabu. It’s a smallish box of chocs and your mum was staying with you, who cares? Was she not allowed to touch the food?
And why on earth would you think it ok to give her chocs away?
I think you’re being unreasonable and agree you obviously don’t like her very much.
I’d be worried about her diabetes too but she’s not a child.. if you’re worried then talk to her

I have a close family member who is an alcoholic. It's hard, you do your best for them but they have an addiction and often that addition will prevail.

Maybe your mother is just greedy and annoying. But it sounds to me like she's struggling.

@Oly4

Of course yabu. It’s a smallish box of chocs and your mum was staying with you, who cares? Was she not allowed to touch the food? And why on earth would you think it ok to give her chocs away? I think you’re being unreasonable and agree you obviously don’t like her very much. I’d be worried about her diabetes too but she’s not a child.. if you’re worried then talk to her

Her mum agreed to the chocs to be given away.

They weren't given away on whim either,but as a thank you for a 3 am meds run. Meds that her mum needs and forgot.

It's not like OP was shouting at random strangers outside "oy, mate , do you want these chocolates that my mum brought over?"

@Oly4 The tubs are usually 600g, so like six regular blocks of chocolate.

@merlotormalbec

You gave away her chocolates. She ate yours. She obviously has a problem if she's had hypnotherapy.

She gave away the other chocolates with her mums permission to a chap who had gone out of his way to collect the mums prescription that she presumably had forgotten in the middle of the night. Not just given them to Nellie next door on a whim.

If that’s your worst problem.......YABU

Whilst on the surface your attitude to your mum eating all the chocolates sounds a bit mean, I think there is a lot more to this than has been mentioned. I suspect your mum is difficult to deal with on a regular basis and eating most of the chocolates was, as you said, the last straw.

It’s four quid for a large tub of heroes. Just buy another tub for goodness sake. If you’re worried about her health then speak to her, if it’s the chocolates just buy some more unless you’re really skint then ask her for the four pounds.

It's totally understandable to be sad & frustrated that your mum doesn't look after herself properly. My mother was alcoholic so I understand that frustration well.

Eating up your treat food isn't on, but this isn't about a simple little weakness of character.

I would be more worried about the impact of her being an uncontrolled diabetic (and the consequences of that)

@OverTheRainbow88

I’m Shocked your first choice was a fudge and then an eclair followed by a crunchie

They are like the worst ones!!!!’

@OverTheRainbow88 haha totally agree. The best ones are the creme egg then the twirl and the pure dairy milk! The fudges and eclairs are always left over in our house. And I hate the double deckers after throwing up just after eating one as a child, but the DCs seem to like them. On the plus side OP, if we were to share a box we wouldn’t be arguing about who should eat what!

OP you should be more concerned about DM’s diabetes and why she binges on chocolate.

I wanted someone to back me up and say that it’s ok to be annoyed. But clearly it isn’t!

Of course it's ok to be annoyed. It sounds very frustrating and also very worrying.

I think you're getting a hard time, and I think the reason is that the tone of your post is very WOE IS ME, when actually what we're talking about is a crappy box of chocolates. Obviously that's not all we're talking about. Your mother is hard work and has a condition that requires someone to go out of their way to drop off medication. I am aware there is a huge subtext here. I sympathise.

But when it comes to the chocolates themselves? YABU.

Next time, hide them!!!

The shops are open again. Go and buy another tub.

Who cares, its xmas!!! I left chocolates out for my dad and others to help themselves. I'm glad to say, they're nearly all gone. Maybe you ought to buy your favourite chocolates and keep those back. You know shes a chocoholic but expect her not to eat most of your chocolates 😂

I agree it's ok to be annoyed. This was another rather childish act on top of another irresponsible act. She left the meds at home that you had to sort for her and then she goes and stuffs a load of chocolate in her face anyway. You aren't bu here OP.

You are being a total Scrooge. It's Christmas. Your DM brought you chocolates (which you chose to give away) and ate some chocolates. You're creating issues out of nothing.

It's Heroes not like it's some expensive stuff. Bad manners, yeah but I'd let it go.

Its tour own fault for not eating them quicker.

Next time she comes, say "mum, keep those trotters out of the trough, last time you were like a snuffling pig"