to let dd(15) bind?

[Nutepurple]

she was having a really good Christmas until she tried her new clothes on, and now everything’s gone down hill. they’re not fitting her how she wants them to because she has a fuller chest. I said no to binding a few months ago when she first asked but I’m not sure what to do anymore

Why not buy her clothes that actually fit?

Erm yep just get clothes that fit her shape!!

@victoriaspongecake Her clothes do fit, but she doesn’t want her chest to be visible in them

And speak to her, she sounds very uncomfortable about her changing body. Pretending not to have breasts is not the answer.

I'd go about taking her for a proper bra fitting (when allowed) and talk to her about different styles and admiring the curves of her body. Maybe spend time with her looking at different styles of top so she can try on or look at how some tops are more complementary for bigger boobs. Get her some decent fitted sports bras and night time bras as well so she feels physically comfortable.

Sounds like she needs a dose of body positivity?

1. get her off social media
2. help her find some fashion icons to look up to with a body shape more like her own
3. maybe take her shopping, see a personal shopper to help her find fashionable styles that suit her shape.
4. GPs often prescribe hormonal contraceptives willy nilly for period pain at this age and it can contribute to bust size going up. If that's the case, consider whether its the right thing for her.
5. have a think about health generally. A big bust at that age can be linked to weight gain generally - always a good idea to encourage a sensible diet & plenty of exercise which lots of girls go off in their teens.

[quote Nutepurple]@victoriaspongecake Her clothes do fit, but she doesn’t want her chest to be visible in them[/quote]
Maybe she might be more confident in some different, looser styles?

I think you should help her to accept her breasts and improve her body positivity. She could try minimising bras, but unless she is trans, or non binary, then breast binding isn't the way to go.

Binding can irreparably damage growing breast tissue. I would be discouraging as much as possible and get her help for her body image.

You can’t pretend that your body is something else - talk to her and remind her she is beautiful - in my experience every 15 year old girl hates their body - if you can’t help her to see her own beauty, get her a professional to talk through it

Fwiw my daughter has similar things (not same) and I focused on ; this is your body and your stuck with it for life so learn to love it, you’ll never be a stick, you are strong, you are athletic, you are beautiful, you are smart, you are kind, you are hard working, you Are resilient - focus on being healthy, being active, and finding acceptance in yourself

This sort of thing is so sad..so many of the models used by fashion brands are very very lean with very little bust & a very androgynous look. it's not a particularly common body type so its unobtainable for most women :(

Breast binding is dangerous, it's not something I would ever encourage with any child or teenager. There are other options, already mentioned in this thread.

Ps we found that sports bras / tops helped during the process of accepting what is unavoidable

Please don't encourage her to crush her breasts (unless she's heading towards some sort of trans journey? - and even then it needs to be considered carefully with medical advice)

Instead become aware of body dismorphia - I'd be quite worried about that if she's wanting to squash her breasts.

Absolutely not, it's dangerous.

You haven't really given enough background. Is she choosing to dress/live as a boy overall? Does she have counselling about this?

Mine is exactly the same age and keeps badgering me with links to things that report to "safely" bind breasts. I understand that having boobs is currently making them feel awful but I dont think binding is safe especially when they are still growing. So I've said no for now but got them a snug fitting sports bra and baggy clothes.

Absolutely not. I know about a dozen teenagers who've gone down that road believing they were trans. All of them changed their minds differing periods of binding etc. God knows what damage they've done to themselves

Tops like this

I agree with others. Help her love them. Is there an underlying reason why she doesn't want them to be seen? If not could you maybe show her some women with larger breasts on Instagram and have a look at how they style their clothing etc.

If I had known about binding when I was that age I’d have done it. I asked for a reduction for my 18th birthday. My sensible mother said no, and took me for some good underwear. Good underwear that did not include adding inches to measurements might I add!! We went to Bravissimo and tried loads of bras on in loads of sizes. I put my top back on over lots to see how they looked in clothes - I mean how often do you look at yourself in just a bra? I tried minimisers and push ups and plunge and balconettes and long line bras. She also bought me some of Bravissimos clothing, especially blouses for work that buttoned and didn’t gape. I realised high neck stuff didn’t hide my boobs at all, just drew more attention to them and found that lower cut tops worked better for me (obviously within reason).

I’m so glad my mum did that for me and didn’t let me damage my body. And it did a massive amount for our relationship with each other. I’m in my 30’s now and frankly barely give my boobs a second thought. Although my mum does still offer to buy bras for me as a birthday or Christmas gift, and we still go bra shopping together!

No advice really but DD 15 nearly 16 has similar issues and isn’t keen on her breasts, looking nice/attractive or drawing attention to herself.
She wears sports bras almost every day and very baggy hoodies so her lovely slim figure is covered up as much as possible even in the house and in warm weather.
She is also very immature and possibly has a crush on her best friend so also possibly gay.

Dear God absolutely no to binding. That causes pain and damage. How can trying to deform her body be ok!

I would suggest you get her clothes that suit her body shape. When Coronavirus is gone a style session with someone who can tell her what shaped clothes suit her body and what colours are best for her (a Colour me Beautiful type thing) would hopefully give her the skills and knowledge to be confident with herself.

I know about a dozen teenagers who've gone down that road believing they were trans.

God is this stuff really getting that common? I knew NO teenagers who so much as openly cross dressed when I was at school. One boy once wore his sisters dress for a joke, it was talked about for months & the picture made it into the yearbook.