to let dd(15) bind?

[Nutepurple]

she was having a really good Christmas until she tried her new clothes on, and now everything’s gone down hill. they’re not fitting her how she wants them to because she has a fuller chest. I said no to binding a few months ago when she first asked but I’m not sure what to do anymore

NO!!

So dangerous.
Binding may lead to permanent deformation of the breasts, scarring, and lung constriction.

One of my daughters 12 year old friend has asked her to get her a binder as she can't get them posted to her own house. This thread is useful for working out how best to approach this. Slightly different problem but also similar.

come on OP, give us an idea of boob size.

Usually big boobs can be hidden with baggy clothes and otherwise reduction is a decision people can take when adults -- friend had it done about age 21 & zero regrets. I did not know that binding was still a done thing except for the gender dysmorphic.

I think you need to be careful about how you approach this.

You should discuss the health issues involved with binding and could suggest sports bras and clothing styles which minimise breast visibility if that's what your daughter wants to achieve.

You could try to encourage more body positivity but again be sensitive. I have a younger sibling who felt this way and the way my mum reacted permanently damaged their relationship (my mum is deceased so there's no fixing it now). Your daughter could be trans; my sibling is.

Some of the comments/suggestions in this thread are very insensitive to that possibility and more importantly to the damage it could do to your relationship if that turns out to be the case.

Now waiting to be flamed 🙄

Sports bras are an option as others have said, though I dont find them comfortable. I wore children's double layer camisoles until I was 20. I'd buy minimising bras but I haven't been able to find them in my size (30C).

Op
Quite/interesting thought provoking post

I thought "binding"was something akin to a relic of history past.

Buy her clothes that make her feel comfortable. She needs to feel confident in her body. I developed very young and absolutely hated my boobs and body. I remember some of the boys at school asking me how I managed to run with my arms crossed at sports day 😭 That was a nice comment, I was nicknamed jugs by many 🤬

I wouldn’t recommend anything to extreme until she’s older. Had I known about Brest binding as a teenager I would definitely have done it, but there is a potential for damage to the breasts so id try and encourage her to wait. Minimising bras were just awful, though it’s a good 20 years since I tried one. It’s all about finding clothes that flatter her shape that she’s not too self conscious in.

I have 3 DDs, I started saving when each was born for when they are older to have breast reductions, as this was my biggest regret, I suffer very badly with them and have huge back problems, but I’d never let them do it until they have stopped growing and they were over 18 and fully know what they are doing.

@Ponoka7

I think you should help her to accept her breasts and improve her body positivity. She could try minimising bras, but unless she is trans, or non binary, then breast binding isn't the way to go.

Everyone is “non binary” Breast binding is never “the way to go” Would you say that breast ironing was acceptable too ?

@thosetalesofunexpected

Op Quite/interesting thought provoking post

I thought "binding"was something akin to a relic of history past.

If only that were true. OP it's really positive that your DD is talking to you and not some random on the internet. I suggest that you find out a lot more about this, about trans issues in particular and support your DD with knowledge and information. Read widely.

Kaliorphic
I do hope you don't allow a child to get binders posted to your house? Parental alienation, that is people encouraging children to keep secrets from their parents is an increasing thing online. While we all know that some parents aren't the best, we also know that children alienated from parents (and ending up in the care of the state) do terribly in terms of life outcomes - educationally, mental health and life chances. The evidence is absolutely clear.
So please don't do anything to enable this as those encouraging it do not have the interests of children at heart. I'm sure that's not what you mean to do but it's incredibly dangerous for children to be encouraged to be alienated from parents. Only the courts should be doing this.

She could try minimising bras, but unless she is trans, or non binary, then breast binding isn't the way to go

It seems that breast binding is becoming a fad for young female people (regardless of how they identify) who are self conscious of their developing bodies. If the practice is dangerous and causing damage to otherwise healthy bodies then they should ban them. Otherwise there is no logical reason why they should only be available to trans and non-binary female people. Personally I think they should be banned.

@ragged

come on OP, give us an idea of boob size.

Usually big boobs can be hidden with baggy clothes and otherwise reduction is a decision people can take when adults -- friend had it done about age 21 & zero regrets. I did not know that binding was still a done thing except for the gender dysmorphic.

Why do we need to know how large her breasts are?

Is she being bullied or shown up for her breasts at school/home?

Nope! I worked as a bra fitter for years when I was younger and heard some absolute horror stories from ladies who had caused themselves irreparable damage from binding.

She needs measuring properly and a good sports bra can help give her support/minimise the size. I’m a HH which is pretty huge but I’m a size 8/10 so they look even bigger on my frame. I’m also tall so my boob are usually straight in peoples eye-line which doesn’t help. If I’m not wearing something low cut then I usually wear a sports bra or a sports style bra which is much comfier, I can’t pop out of and also minimises them a lot.

Because I don't believe any OP is honest especially ones who post & run.
I want to know if this is truly a well-endowed kid or a freak of nature or someone who can't even handle the thought of B-cup.

Someone who can't handle B-cup is rather different from someone with gigantomastia vs. ordinary 'large'. Actual size makes a difference on best ways to hide the boobs if well non-emphasised is what one prefers, too.

I should have posted the link to the sports bra I posted

www.sweatybetty.co.uk
shop.lululemon.com

I'm a very reluctant 32H and I hate my chest. At 5ft 2 and a size 12, I also struggle to find clothes which fit. Buying larger sizes just doesn't work, I look swamped and scruffy.
I've done everything I can reasonably do to minimise the look of my breasts. Please do not entertain the idea of binding. It's horrendously destructive and damaging.
At her age, her body image and self esteem could be a real struggle and binding will only intensify that.

Talk to her about the realities of having a female body, it's not easy and we're socialised to be ashamed of it. Tell her she can share any feelings she has about it with you. When she's older, a reduction may be reasonable if her health is greatly affected but binding is not the answer.

Horrifying that young girls are seeing themselves in such a bad way that they'll resort to this.

It is unbelievable that at a time when we are aiming to live more ethically in terms of consumerism, sustainability, personal health, becoming vegan, emotional health and wellbeing yet we stand by while our children are targeted by a movement that encourages them to believe that their bodies are flawed and need fixing
Who would have thought we would be regressing like this. Societies quite rightly got rid of foot binding, Victorian tiny waists with corsets that deformed women's bodies yet some people on here are actually advocating girls binding their breasts. Unbelievable.

Definitely no to breast binding. It's very dangerous and can cause permanent deformities.

It's horrible being at that age/stage and feeling so self-conscious about boobs. Clothes that fit well and are comfortable can help a bit, also a properly fitted bra that's comfortable and secure. If she's into sports or fitness then make sure she has proper sports bras and gear so she's not impeded. Sports and/or fitness might help her to feel stronger/more in control of her body? It's not a nice stage to go through and I bet most of us can remember how distressing it was at times, but you can reassure her that those feelings pass. At some point in the not too distant future, she will be grateful you didn't let her damage her body.

What about a minimiser bra?

No binding!

Why doesn’t she want her chest to be visible?

And people who post binders to our children

@NameChangeUnwiseAdvice

Mine is exactly the same age and keeps badgering me with links to things that report to "safely" bind breasts. I understand that having boobs is currently making them feel awful but I dont think binding is safe especially when they are still growing. So I've said no for now but got them a snug fitting sports bra and baggy clothes.

Totally irrelevant but I love that you are using the pronouns your child has asked you to use irrespective of whether they will read what you've written or not. It's so respectful X x 👍

persistentwoman waist training is also a thing now.

Binding is dangerous, even pro trans resources say so. It can cause problems with breathing and damage ribs.

It affects breast tissue, creating flat and saggy breasts that will not recover - not a big deal if a double mastectomy is in the person’s future plans, but a massive problem if binding was intended to be a short term solution to the awfulness of puberty (and avoiding the associated sexual advances of adult men).

I would personally go no further than a properly fitted, minimiser bra but obviously, all parents will have a different red line.

(My middle daughter identified as a boy for a year but has now desisted. Was a very difficult time for the whole family but DD is much happier now on the other side and physically unharmed).