to let dd(15) bind?

[Nutepurple]

she was having a really good Christmas until she tried her new clothes on, and now everything’s gone down hill. they’re not fitting her how she wants them to because she has a fuller chest. I said no to binding a few months ago when she first asked but I’m not sure what to do anymore

*sorry for the rogue full stop.

I think that's why people become very reactive/aggressive when people say that stuff here.

I posted verifiable sources and a PP chose to ignore them and then, what, called me aggressive when I pointed out that denying the truth was a bad look for a teacher (and that misinformation about suicide actually increases suicide risk)?

My daughter identified as a boy for a year and the teachers at her school changed her name on the register, because they’d been on a similarly shoddy training course.
DD has now desisted and school have been forced to backtrack because naming one’s own child is the parents responsibility and no one has a right to intervene. From the government’s main website:

You’re also responsible for:
naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities

If asking teachers not to spread misinformation comes across as aggressive, so be it. The well-being of vulnerable children and adolescents is more important to me than affronted adults!

@ChestnutStuffing

Fair enough , but in this case , not me.

@PlantMam

I think that's why people become very reactive/aggressive when people say that stuff here.

I posted verifiable sources and a PP chose to ignore them and then, what, called me aggressive when I pointed out that denying the truth was a bad look for a teacher (and that misinformation about suicide actually increases suicide risk)?

My daughter identified as a boy for a year and the teachers at her school changed her name on the register, because they’d been on a similarly shoddy training course.
DD has now desisted and school have been forced to backtrack because naming one’s own child is the parents responsibility and no one has a right to intervene. From the government’s main website:

You’re also responsible for:
naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities

If asking teachers not to spread misinformation comes across as aggressive, so be it. The well-being of vulnerable children and adolescents is more important to me than affronted adults!

It wasn't you I called aggressive , Plant.

I do follow the guidelines on name changes within the school so I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.

I am truly grateful to you for listening and looking into the topic more kimchi, and I hope your talks go well with your colleagues. I apologise if I hurt your feelings at all.

My response was angry, I admit. Honestly it's hard to explain how much the topic really angers me. I am especially furious and pissed off because I know exactly how I would have reacted age 12 being told definitely that I would be suicidal and I would have suicidal thoughts: I would have become suicidal and obsessed about suicidal thoughts. (For context, as I've grown older I've stopped reading side-effects of medication because I used to think myself into them.)

I am angry at the "training" that goes on out there, the number of people who come to Mumsnet to wave the suicide idea around over and over again, and (I guess if I'm honest), the number of otherwise rational, sensible, caring professionals who just seem to accept the idea and parrot it back without questioning the data. I guess I hold you in that number but I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

The suicide myth is also the basis of the whole power of the movement: "do as we say or we'll all kill ourselves". If any other group of people acted like this for any reason, it would be called out as manipulation or abusive. But in this case, "Whatever you want then! Hormones, surgery, new identity. Who cares if its ultimately damaging to you or hurtful for others. Anything to avoid the impending and unavoidable suicide, which you will absolutely do. Better a live daughter than a dead son, etc."

The detrans forum on reddit is full of real life stories of people who have been so damaged by this movement. I don't know if they'd all agree with my general take on things (actually probably not, they'd call me a TERF), but I think most would agree they wish society approached things differently. We need more therapy and understanding, and to move away from ludicrous stereotypes.

Agh the app has deleted all paragraphs again. Just brilliant. Sorry for the wall of text!

@zzizz

I am truly grateful to you for listening and looking into the topic more kimchi, and I hope your talks go well with your colleagues. I apologise if I hurt your feelings at all.

My response was angry, I admit. Honestly it's hard to explain how much the topic really angers me. I am especially furious and pissed off because I know exactly how I would have reacted age 12 being told definitely that I would be suicidal and I would have suicidal thoughts: I would have become suicidal and obsessed about suicidal thoughts. (For context, as I've grown older I've stopped reading side-effects of medication because I used to think myself into them.)

I am angry at the "training" that goes on out there, the number of people who come to Mumsnet to wave the suicide idea around over and over again, and (I guess if I'm honest), the number of otherwise rational, sensible, caring professionals who just seem to accept the idea and parrot it back without questioning the data. I guess I hold you in that number but I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

The suicide myth is also the basis of the whole power of the movement: "do as we say or we'll all kill ourselves". If any other group of people acted like this for any reason, it would be called out as manipulation or abusive. But in this case, "Whatever you want then! Hormones, surgery, new identity. Who cares if its ultimately damaging to you or hurtful for others. Anything to avoid the impending and unavoidable suicide, which you will absolutely do. Better a live daughter than a dead son, etc."

The detrans forum on reddit is full of real life stories of people who have been so damaged by this movement. I don't know if they'd all agree with my general take on things (actually probably not, they'd call me a TERF), but I think most would agree they wish society approached things differently. We need more therapy and understanding, and to move away from ludicrous stereotypes.

Thanks. No you didn't . It is I who should be grateful to you for sharing this with me

This thread is an excellent example of how much deliberate misinformation there is about these issues and thanks to all who have shared stories / facts and information and listened to each other.

I'm sharing this link to a court judgement about a parent who emotionally abused her young son by falsely claiming he was a girl. She was given support by the local authority and Mermaids who immediately adopted the "affirmation" approach to the child while others, including the school, were more sceptical.
In fact this was a very mentally unwell mother and the Judge was scathing about the adults who failed to recognise her illness and instead allowed her to emotionally abuse her young son by falsely claiming that he was actually a girl. The judgement highlights what can happen when ideology takes precedence over the needs and safeguarding of children.
The mother lost custody of her son as a result of her actions. I always wonder what might have happened if the child had been listened to rather than ideological demands.

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2016/2430.html

It's long but worth a read.