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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let dd(15) bind?

183 replies

Nutepurple · 27/12/2020 18:54

she was having a really good Christmas until she tried her new clothes on, and now everything’s gone down hill. they’re not fitting her how she wants them to because she has a fuller chest. I said no to binding a few months ago when she first asked but I’m not sure what to do anymore

OP posts:
NewyearNewme2021 · 28/12/2020 20:46

@midgeghost

Just thinking , based on my experience growing up, I think that calling them he when they are a she is a short term nice thing whereas it's healthier to learn that you are a she and there is no shame in that and no reason to pretend otherwise. Your body is female and will always be so however much you hate and resent that
I agree

There is a tiny percentage of young people who have been gender dysphoria since childhood but the for the !majority wanting to be opposite sex is usually temporary or triggered by a trauma. I don't think this is what the OP refers to, but I don't buy into all this late onset gender dysphoria stuff. real non binaries have always felt dysphoric, suddenly to turn round as a teenager and say "mum I think am really a boy" , nah, I don't buy most of those cases.

zzizz · 28/12/2020 20:46

No, it isn't.

midgeghost · 28/12/2020 20:47

Given how many girls suffer body hatred as they grow up i doubt she needs medical support just some love and confidence that her body does not define her

PlantMam · 28/12/2020 20:51

Be thankful you were one of the ones for whom it passed. The statistics for suicide in young trans people is horrifying.

GIDs (NHS child an adolescent gender service) say ‘suicide is extremely rare’

gids.nhs.uk/evidence-base

Which I am sure we will all agree is also something to be thankful about.

Please don’t spread misinformation about suicide rates amongst gender distressed children and adolescents- it goes against Samaritans best practice guidelines and can actually contribute to suicide risk via social contagion, which I’m sure isn’t your intention?

www.samaritans.org/about-samaritans/research-policy/internet-suicide/guidelines-tech-industry/

zzizz · 28/12/2020 20:52

The lies about suicide rates are one of the most sincerely creepy and fucking awful things that movement has ever done - especially given how socially contagious it is, and how many young people (especially impressionable autistic ones) are literally being told "you will have suicidal thoughts and be likely to kill yourself"

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 20:57

[quote PlantMam]Be thankful you were one of the ones for whom it passed. The statistics for suicide in young trans people is horrifying.

GIDs (NHS child an adolescent gender service) say ‘suicide is extremely rare’

gids.nhs.uk/evidence-base

Which I am sure we will all agree is also something to be thankful about.

Please don’t spread misinformation about suicide rates amongst gender distressed children and adolescents- it goes against Samaritans best practice guidelines and can actually contribute to suicide risk via social contagion, which I’m sure isn’t your intention?

www.samaritans.org/about-samaritans/research-policy/internet-suicide/guidelines-tech-industry/[/quote]
Given I got my stats from a unit in safeguarding in teacher training I will still proceed with caution in that area over random PPs.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 20:58

@zzizz

The lies about suicide rates are one of the most sincerely creepy and fucking awful things that movement has ever done - especially given how socially contagious it is, and how many young people (especially impressionable autistic ones) are literally being told "you will have suicidal thoughts and be likely to kill yourself"
I'm not saying they will do anything. But even one is enough.

I am part of no movement.

midgeghost · 28/12/2020 20:59

It us however true that any child using internet to explore this issue will be advised to talk about their suicidal feelings

PlantMam · 28/12/2020 20:59

I linked to the NHS evidence base.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 20:59

@PlantMam

I linked to the NHS evidence base.
I saw that.

I stand by what I said.

MispyM · 28/12/2020 21:01

A good (minimising) sports bra, maybe?

Binding can and does do long term damage. The sports bra doesn't.

But if it's between a properly fitted binder and sports tape etc I'd definitely choose the former.

PlantMam · 28/12/2020 21:05

I stand by what I said.

So you are deliberately spreading misinformation, rather than mistakenly spreading misinformation?

And you are a TEACHER?

tavistockandportman.nhs.uk/documents/1882/FOI_19-20375_GIDS_suicide_rate_2018-19__2019-20.pdf

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:08

Yeah , that's me. Deliberately spreading misinformation 9-5.

What a strange thing to say.
Could you then, being so informed on the issue, explain to me why the suicide rates for young teens was part of my teacher training - ie that we had to complete a training course containing this?

tilder · 28/12/2020 21:09

Wheresmykimchi the 'random pp' is providing actual links to GIDs (NHS) and the Samaritans. Whereas you quote an unreferenced training course.

Personally, I go with the evidence over random unsubstantiated posts on the internet.

I don't know where the OP has gone, but in the main I have found this thread encouraging. Breast binding is horrendous.

tilder · 28/12/2020 21:11

@Wheresmykimchi

Yeah , that's me. Deliberately spreading misinformation 9-5.

What a strange thing to say.
Could you then, being so informed on the issue, explain to me why the suicide rates for young teens was part of my teacher training - ie that we had to complete a training course containing this?

Who was running the training course and what logo was on the course literature?
Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:11

@tilder

Wheresmykimchi the 'random pp' is providing actual links to GIDs (NHS) and the Samaritans. Whereas you quote an unreferenced training course.

Personally, I go with the evidence over random unsubstantiated posts on the internet.

I don't know where the OP has gone, but in the main I have found this thread encouraging. Breast binding is horrendous.

I'm not here to sway people though. I wouldn't get into an argument or debate over such a sensitive issue particularly when thats not what the OP is about in the first place.

I agree about breast binding, for what its worth.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:12

Oh pass tilder. I've been qualified 9 years. I'll accept that maybe what we did was outdated, but the reason i didn't get into the debate was the immediate assumption that I am "deliberately spreading" misinformation as a TEACHER. Leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.

Mrsmorton · 28/12/2020 21:18

You really shouldn't lie about suicide statistics @Wheresmykimchi, I'm horrified you're a teacher. I really am. Ive reported your post.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:21

@Mrsmorton

You really shouldn't lie about suicide statistics *@Wheresmykimchi*, I'm horrified you're a teacher. I really am. Ive reported your post.
Theres a difference between lying (not sure wh I'd lie, I don't have an agenda either way re trans) and being perhaps uneducated of how things have moved on, but aggressive posters aren't really helping the situation.
Grellbunt · 28/12/2020 21:25

There has been an epidemic of biased and inaccurate training in schools tbh, by supposed experts. Unfortunately I think there will be lots of teachers who have been fed misinformation.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:26

@Grellbunt

There has been an epidemic of biased and inaccurate training in schools tbh, by supposed experts. Unfortunately I think there will be lots of teachers who have been fed misinformation.
Thanks grellbunt. I'm floored by the aggression.
LastRoloIsMine · 28/12/2020 21:27

If I was going to post something as important as suicide in young people and state possible causes I would damn well make sure I was posting up to date info based on actual research not some random quote which is usually used to blackmail people in to believing lies.

Wheresmykimchi · 28/12/2020 21:29

@LastRoloIsMine

If I was going to post something as important as suicide in young people and state possible causes I would damn well make sure I was posting up to date info based on actual research not some random quote which is usually used to blackmail people in to believing lies.
I was naive enough to believe a) no one would actually make up something so ...sick...Nd b) nobody would believe anyone else would.

I was going on first hand anecdotal experience as the majority of us irl do. It's not an issue I have any agenda in so I wouldn't lie.

tilder · 28/12/2020 21:30

Wasn't meant to be aggressive at all, sorry if it came across like that. The suicide risk is often flagged with absolutely no evidence given. It's dangerous and should be called out.

LEELULUMPKIN · 28/12/2020 21:30

I must be getting so old as I never even knew that this was a thing.

When I first read the title I thought it was related to some Geisha style foot binding.

How incredibly sad that our young girls feel the need for this.

Social media is the very devil. So glad I am not growing up now or a teen myself.