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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DC got nothing from their siblings..

485 replies

Pip899 · 26/12/2020 15:30

I have two children with DH age 2 and 3, DH also has two older children with his ex ages 8 and 9. The children have a lovely relationship with each other and the older ones dote on the youngest two.

For Christmas I bought the DSC gifts from me and also gifts 'from' my two. Buying 'from' the kids is something DH has always done but most importantly (because it's relevant) it is something his ex has always done too, for other people on behalf of the kids.

DSC arrived today to spend the night with us and have a second Christmas of sorts, they had a big pile of presents waiting for them with at least 5 being labelled as being from my DC.

DSC brought with them a present for DH that their mum gave them the money to buy - but nothing for my two DC.

I have no hard feelings toward the children whatsoever, they don't have money, I feel like this is their mother being petty.

AIBU to think this is almost spiteful?

It's the principle of the matter, even a chocolate bar would have been a nice gesture so it's not me being grabby.

OP posts:
Nottherealslimshady · 26/12/2020 15:33

I think that's something their dad should have sorted, not his ex wife.

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 15:33

Why didn't your DH buy stuff for them to give?
Have you asked him?

Thedarknightsaredrawingin · 26/12/2020 15:33

Your DH could have taken the kids shopping for their siblings too.

Sellorwait6 · 26/12/2020 15:34

I also think their dad should have sorted this, but I voted YANBU.

Cynara · 26/12/2020 15:34

Very much their dad's role to facilitate, imo.

Thingsthatgo · 26/12/2020 15:34

Yeah, that is your DH’s job, not his Ex’s.

FuckOffDailyFailure · 26/12/2020 15:35

I was about to say what people have already said; why didn't your DH think of doing this? Seems a bit much to expect this of the exw, (who probably has less of a relationship with your dc than your DH does), while he does nothing?

Fedup21 · 26/12/2020 15:35

My children have never bought Christmas presents for each other, we don’t do that, but if it’s a thing your DH has always done, why hasn’t he done it this year?

This is 100% on him; if you’re cross with someone, blame him!

RedskyAtnight · 26/12/2020 15:35

I think all the children are all too young to buy each other gifts tbh.

But agree, if it was going to happen, it was up to DH to facilitate.

Mdmd · 26/12/2020 15:36

That’s on your DH. that’s his Job not his ex wife’s.

I don’t buy my kids step siblings parents. I have literally fuck all to do with them I don’t know them.

If my now ex husbands wants to do that then that’s on him.

Blacktothepink · 26/12/2020 15:36

That’s your dh job!

AaronPurr · 26/12/2020 15:36

@Nottherealslimshady

I think that's something their dad should have sorted, not his ex wife.
I agree. Although i'm curious about what happened in previous years, did she buy presents for your children last year?
Shinylikeglass · 26/12/2020 15:36

Absolutely, completely their father's responsibility.

LittleMissLockdown · 26/12/2020 15:36

Surely their Dad should have taken them shopping for gifts when he had them for his contact time. Why is it his ex wife's job to buy your children presents??

Figgygal · 26/12/2020 15:36

agree their dad should have sorted it

cactusisblooming · 26/12/2020 15:36

I find it quite odd that you honestly expected your dsc's mother to buy presents from her children to your children, who she has absolutely no ties to. If this is supposedly so important to your DH, then why did he not buy them? At 8 and 9 they can't exactly go shopping themselves.

Original poster
Pip899 · 26/12/2020 15:37

I see where people are coming from, but it wouldn't hurt her to spare a quid or two for selection boxes or a bar of chocolate surely?

It has never occurred to me not to buy something myself, to pass on to the DSC as it were from my DC.

OP posts:
Lostinthemail · 26/12/2020 15:38

You can’t blame his ex wife for not doing their dad’s job. Be angry with him.

Mdmd · 26/12/2020 15:38

But you’re connected to the DSC coz you’re with their dad.

She’s not. Your children are absolutely nothing to do with her.

AaronPurr · 26/12/2020 15:38

I see where people are coming from, but it wouldn't hurt her to spare a quid or two for selection boxes or a bar of chocolate surely?

Again, why is this her job? Why can't your husband spare a quid or 2 and buy the selection boxes?

NameChange84 · 26/12/2020 15:38

It’s not really the done thing in these situations. I never received gifts from siblings or half siblings until we were adults.

And if it was going to happen, then be angry with their Dad, not their Mum who has no connection to your kids. I don’t think it’s spiteful and petty of your SCs mother. I think it’s absentminded and thoughtless of your DH.

Plussizejumpsuit · 26/12/2020 15:38

Why didn't their dad sort it?

Shinylikeglass · 26/12/2020 15:38

I see where people are coming from, but it wouldn't hurt her to spare a quid or two for selection boxes or a bar of chocolate surely?

You're right, it would have been very straightforward for their father to do it.

Original poster
Pip899 · 26/12/2020 15:39

She funds gifts for school friends who are nothing to do with her though?

OP posts:
SmeleanorSmellstrop · 26/12/2020 15:39

Wholeheartedly agree that it is not his ex's job to buy Christmas presents for her ex's new children? There's really no need for children to 'buy' each otjet presents IMO and yours were too young to really notice i expect. But if anyone should have bought the present it should OBVIOUSLY be their dad? It would never cross my mind to buy Christmas presents for an ex's children, even if they were my children's half-siblings Confused

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