My DC got nothing from their siblings..

[Pip899]

I have two children with DH age 2 and 3, DH also has two older children with his ex ages 8 and 9. The children have a lovely relationship with each other and the older ones dote on the youngest two.

For Christmas I bought the DSC gifts from me and also gifts 'from' my two. Buying 'from' the kids is something DH has always done but most importantly (because it's relevant) it is something his ex has always done too, for other people on behalf of the kids.

DSC arrived today to spend the night with us and have a second Christmas of sorts, they had a big pile of presents waiting for them with at least 5 being labelled as being from my DC.

DSC brought with them a present for DH that their mum gave them the money to buy - but nothing for my two DC.

I have no hard feelings toward the children whatsoever, they don't have money, I feel like this is their mother being petty.

AIBU to think this is almost spiteful?

It's the principle of the matter, even a chocolate bar would have been a nice gesture so it's not me being grabby.

Fwiw I was the step child in this situation. My mother wouldn't have bought stuff for the kids if her exH even if she was loaded with cash.
When I was 12 or so I started buying little bday gifts for my half siblings.

They were never appreciated or thanks given so I stopped. I was so sad as I spent ages trying to choose stuff etc.

Why on earth should the ex wife spend her money on your children?
Your expectations of her are ridiculous and malicious.
If presents between the step siblings is what you wanted then your DH should have sorted it, if he was aware.
You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

I buy gifts for my DP, my DC and mine and DPs DC from my SD. This was yours and DH job and seems most bizarre to have expected them to arrive with gifts for any of you to be honest.

It's something their dad should have sorted, my partner does this for our son, and also sends his half sister a gift from him too.

Agree with others it your DHs job, not their mums.

Hi OP,

Is it possible that you feel that the ex-W should have acknowledged YOU, since you do a great deal for her children over the year, (I presume)?

If so, I actually see your point. If my kids had a step-mum who was good to them, I would send her a little token gift and card, ie, 'Thanks for everything you do for the kids.'

I sympathize. Hopefully your DH DOES acknowledge what you do for his older children/ your stepDC's.

Defo DHs job. Why should ex fork out for kids that aren't anything to do with her

This isnt your DH ex responsibility - it is his.

@steff13

Their mother sorted out a present from the children to their father. Did he organise a present from them to give her?

I was wondering this as well.

I was wondering that too, I sincerely hope so with all the fuss being made over her not buying gifts.

I'm also intrigued by the previous fuck yous directed at her children by this women, I'm finding it hard to think of anything she could have done to evoke such a strong dislike from the OP.

Why should I or any other mother who shares children with an ex acknowledge a woman who I have nothing to do with?

Is this for real??

DS is 12... I buy him gifts to give to his sisters (my DD's), his grandparents (my parents), his godparents & his school friends - i do not buy him anything to give to his little brother on his dads side because that is not my job that's up to my ex & his wife to sort out!

Fucking hell I buy enough gifts without buying for what is essentially a random child.

I agree, this is your husband's failure and very poor on his behalf.

Most certainly not his ex wife's job.

Also, how come this is only an issue this year?

Why didnt your DH sort it? He knows your child and what they'd like. How is it anything to do with the ex wife?

@hm246

It has never occurred to me not to buy something myself, to pass on to the DSC as it were from my DC

They are your step children, you have a relationship with them as I’m guessing they come to your home to see their dad. She does not have that relationship with your DC, they are just her Ex’s other children. Definitely your DH job to buy presents from one set of D.C. to the other.

This really sums it up actually, and I'd not really thought of it like that as unfortunately we don't see my partners kids in person so it even feels odd to call them my step children.

There have been a few posts of this type and it just seems like the posters are causing themselves stress by having expectations of people who have little to no involvement in their own lives.

If she normally buys them a present l'm not sure why there has been a change, but there has and there is nothing you can do about it. You can't expect presents from anyone.

100% DH responsibility, not their mothers. Why should she have to fork out money when it wasn’t her choice for her children to have more siblings?

It’s absolutely your DH’s responsibility, if you’re angry with anyone, be angry with him

I see where people are coming from, but it wouldn't hurt her to spare a quid or two for selection boxes or a bar of chocolate surely?
And for all she knows, you don't allow your kids chocolate and they'd go in the bin.

Why are you not cross with your oh?

Also OP you've said that your DH labelled some presents from the SDC to your DC so I'm struggling to see what the issue is?

Their mother sorted out a present from the children to their father. Did he organise a present from them to give her?

Good question.

@Pip899?

Eh?

Do you children know their fathers ex wife well? I mean do they spend time together?

Does your DH share the job of buying presents for the school friends out of interest?

I mean surely it’s your husbands job? He’s something to do with both sets of children. The ONLY person who is related to both sets of kids. You aren’t. Nor is the ex wife.

No way is this mum’s responsibility. Your husband should sort it. Did he get ex wife something from the children?