My DC got nothing from their siblings..

[Pip899]

I have two children with DH age 2 and 3, DH also has two older children with his ex ages 8 and 9. The children have a lovely relationship with each other and the older ones dote on the youngest two.

For Christmas I bought the DSC gifts from me and also gifts 'from' my two. Buying 'from' the kids is something DH has always done but most importantly (because it's relevant) it is something his ex has always done too, for other people on behalf of the kids.

DSC arrived today to spend the night with us and have a second Christmas of sorts, they had a big pile of presents waiting for them with at least 5 being labelled as being from my DC.

DSC brought with them a present for DH that their mum gave them the money to buy - but nothing for my two DC.

I have no hard feelings toward the children whatsoever, they don't have money, I feel like this is their mother being petty.

AIBU to think this is almost spiteful?

It's the principle of the matter, even a chocolate bar would have been a nice gesture so it's not me being grabby.

Young siblings don't buy each other a present. If you want to set the tradition then buy the presents.

This man has done a great number on you hasn’t it? He’s fucked up and you’re blaming some random woman who it has nothing to do with.

I think it is nice to give siblings presents when they get old enough to choose them.

If I were your dh, I would have given the SDC a tenner each and taken them shopping to choose something themselves for their siblings, something they thought their siblings would like. I see no point in just 'labelling' a present as being from someone if they have had zero involvement in it. It takes the thought, the effort of shopping and the wrapping (as opposed to just the money to buy something) and this is something it's good for children to learn when they are a bit older.

So yes, up to your DH to have organised but would have been really nice if they have. Also, you still haven't mentioned if the ex wife normally gives YOUR kids a present 'from' her kids, but I am assuming not, as that would be more than generous and kind.

@Pip899

She funds gifts for school friends who are nothing to do with her though?

I fund gifts for my children’s friends and teachers but I wouldn’t buy any new children an ex decided to have. If he thinks they should gift them he should be buying them.

You say DSC gave their father a gift which she must have sorted out. Did your DH make sure they got their Mum a gift?

@Pip899

She funds gifts for school friends who are nothing to do with her though?

I find this petty of you to say, you want her not to buy gifts for her child’s friends?

Your DSC are connected to you, your children are yours and your DH responsibility. Your husband should sort those extra gifts not his ex.

She funds gifts for school friends who are nothing to do with her though?

How is this your business?

Did you organise a present for the SDCs to give to their Mum? If not, why not?

It is your darling husbands job. Which he doesn’t see the value in.

Good point @SoftSheen

MN is such an opener to some peoples expectations.
Did he you organise a gift for their DM?
The poor older DC being put in an awkward position not having a present for their younger siblings.
Totally on your DH.

I’ve never known young DC to buy gifts for their siblings. Just let it go and be really happy that the DC all get on well. Some of the credit for that may belong with the ex wife.

If it was you (and not DH) that organised presents ‘from’ your children to their step siblings, you’ll know what to do next year!

Oh lord. It didn't even occur to me to get my daughter a present to give her half brother. Why would it? Stop making excuses for your useless husband. Even if there have been other fuck yous to your kids (though I reckon they're in your head because why should she care about your kids) then your useless husband should have addressed those times too

It just seems like buying for the sake of buying to have presents bought between siblings of that age. If it's what you want to do then it's for the Dad to arrange not his ex-wife.

Get a grip. Your children are fuck all to do with his ex wife

It’s very strange that you (or he - but I doubt it) bought gifts from the SDC for your DC but didn’t let the SDC give them to your DC. Why did you do that?

Did your 3 year old give your one year old a present and vice versa?

YABVU

If it’s important to you, then your DH should have sorted it. Why is your step-children’s mothers job to buy presents for your children from them but nothing to do with their father? I think this is a case of “women’s work” or actively looking for a reason to be upset. It’s not spiteful, she probably assumed it was either not necessary or that their father would have bought the presents on their behalf.

Their mother sorted out a present from the children to their father. Did he organise a present from them to give her?

Sorry I agree this is for your DH to do not his ex

Massive fail on your DH part there. Although we don’t get this buying from the children thing at all. At all.

I wouldn't for one moment think it was my XH's job to buy presents for his DD's half siblings. I'm with everyone else it's your DH's job.

It would just be weird for the ex to buy gifts for your kids.

I'd consider it overstepping the mark in her shoes, as it's not her territory. Nor her responsibility.

I think you are being highly precious about your DCs. I bet they had loads of gifts and really didn't need a token item from your step children.

Their mother sorted out a present from the children to their father. Did he organise a present from them to give her?

I was wondering this as well.

It has never occurred to me not to buy something myself, to pass on to the DSC as it were from my DC

They are your step children, you have a relationship with them as I’m guessing they come to your home to see their dad. She does not have that relationship with your DC, they are just her Ex’s other children. Definitely your DH job to buy presents from one set of D.C. to the other.