Daughter has broken lockdown rules and meant to come to my house for Christmas.

[concernedmother52]

My daughter is a 28 year old single mum, she's 3rd year uni which is all online and is thoroughly fed up with lockdown (aren't we all!?)

We live in Scotland, tier 3 currently, tier 4 after Christmas. The plan for Christmas Day was that my daughter and granddaughter would join us for the day.

However, she has just openly admitted to me that her friend who lives in London who travelled from there to spend Christmas Day with his folks has been staying at her house the past two nights.

I am livid because London is very bad with the virus at the moment and all the transport her friend has been on!

She claims she is no longer letting the government control how she lives her life and that during the first lockdown her mental health took a dip (which I am aware of). She is struggling with online learning and not having much social interaction. She claims that it is her own risk whether she catches the virus.

I said I would need to have a word with my husband before deciding if she can come on Christmas Day, she hung up on me.

I'm so mad because it means missing out on our granddaughter as well and she will have nothing in the house organised for a Christmas Day meal and it makes me sad thinking of her and her daughter in the house just having a normal lunch/dinner.

AIBU if I let her come to our house?

The fact that she referred to sheep and mass control would make me think she believes it’s all a hoax so will have been doing absolutely nothing to limit her exposure.
It’s airborne, so if they have it you all will by end of Christmas Day. People in offices sat 4m apart have caught it thought general room air.

You don’t have to fake symptoms for a test, you get her to pay for one privately.

She's absolutely right in that it's up to her whether she puts herself at risk.

However, that principle doesn't really work when you're then mixing with other people who you're also then putting at risk.

If it was me she would definitely still be welcome and her friend too if she was still around.

As has been said - there is a big difference between rule and risk. I think you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you uninvite her.

Glad you're having her round.

I’m glad you daughter’s coming OP and hope you all have a good day.

@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

Please remember that by breaking the rules you put yourself at risk of DYING!!!

If you catch Covid and are so ill that you are admitted to hospital you risk KILLING the nurses, doctors and other NHS staff who look after you.

If these people DIE, there will be NO ONE qualified left to look after YOU, or your Grandparents, Mum, Dad, Sister, Brother, Son or Daughter.

Our doctors and nurses, cannot be easily replaced. So please DON'T TAKE RISKS, and OP please don't see your daughter or granddaughter. She has been foolish and selfish, please don't turn a blind eye, unless you're another one prepared to blame others but not yourself.

I’m assuming this is a parody post

@Pinkyandthebrainz

I really don't see the issue. Very dramatic.

Fuck a duck! That's exactly the kind of thinking that's got us in this shit show of a mess. You don't see the issue, genuinely? Jeez.

Oh ffs yabu it's your daughter she mixed with 1 person just because that person is tier 4 doesn't mean they are a walking covid time bomb!

I can't believe what this is doing to people it's your family! I totally agree with pp no one has humanity anymore

She sounds incredibly immature for a 28 year old woman with a 7 year old

I would also say no on the fact your daughter didnt put you or DH in the equation when she had her friend stay over. It's very selfish, I'm sorry OP its such a rubbish time at the moment

@lockedownloretta

Oh fgs Just let her come. You are cutting off your nose to spite your face otherwise. Could you really leave your daughter and granddaughter alone with no Christmas dinner etc?

This whole thing is bonkers. It is making people forget their humanity.

☝🏻 This

From reading it’s not the risk you’re necessarily bothered about but the principle.

Well, the question is, would her difficult year get worse or improve if you or your husband died from Vivid that she had passed onto you? I'd be tempted to ask her outright. And sadly I wouldn't let her join you unless she is prepared to sit in the garden or remain in a separate room with you dropping the food off on a tray.

Fgs your not vulnerable though? Just let her come

YANBU.

If she calls you a sheep then she sounds like one of those conspiracy theory loons. Oops.

She didn't really consider you at all because it sounds like she doesn't believe in 'the virus' ...after all we are all sheep controlled my MSM etc etc etc the vaccine will be chipping us blah de blah

@Arthersleep
And sadly I wouldn't let her join you unless she is prepared to sit in the garden or remain in a separate room with you dropping the food off on a tray.

WOW, just wow.

This is how the new variant will spread across the country - via selfish idiots like your daughter and her friend from London. I despair at people's idiocy I really do. If you feel ok risking being instrumental in spreading this new variant by having her visit, then crack on, but don't kid yourself that there's not a large potential cost to your community if you do so.

To be consistent OP, if you do spend Christmas with her then you need to quarantine yourself afterwards to avoid any possibility of your passing on the virus to anyone else.
I’d also like to remind those setting store by the fact the OP does not consider herself vulnerable that many under 60 year olds without significant health problems have died from Covid19 or have been left with long term health problems. That’s the scary thing about it — one just cannot predict the outcome of contracting the virus

Funny how some people are demanding that they are allowed to assess their own risk, while not allowing others to do the same.

She knew the risk to herself - and ignored it. She should allow you the same right to decide how much risk YOU want to take. Anything else would be very selfish of her.

TBH I think we all need to make our own risk asssessments if intelligent enough!!

The country is sadly full of people making their own assessments without the knowledge to do so.

Lots of people saying the OP is overreacting, I’m 35 and week 6 I’ll with Covid and can’t see me drastically improving soon. I have no risk factors whatsoever. Stop telling the OP she isn’t vulnerable, we all are! Her daughter has put her in this position.

She sounds a bit juvenile.... sorry you have to deal with this op

She's made her decision (the right one in my opinion) so why are people still droning on? Yes there's a risk of Covid but there's also a risk of her daughter dying due to mental health issues so...her daughter has clearly told the OP she is struggling mentally. OP made the right decision allowing her daughter to still come.

Since you've decided to have her at Christmas I hope you will self isolate afterwards to mitigate transmission risk.

Don't worry about isolating either OP. Your daughter more than likely doesn't have it.

Why would the OP isolate if she hasn't been in contact with someone with Covid?