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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not let DD have her advent chocolate

270 replies

Beekeeper31 · 20/12/2020 21:40

DD is 9 and is a lovely well-behaved child and we get on really well, apart from one issue, is that she is obsessed with chocolate, sweets, basically anything with sugar, to the point where if she doesn’t have a sweet treat every day she gets upset.

The back story is that DH also has a sweet tooth and indulges her. Ever since she was 3-4 he would take her out for special treats that involve cake or buying sweets. MIL is also similar. Maybe I'm biased as I don't really enjoy sugar, more of a savoury person.

Anyway, yesterday was her birthday, I made her a chocolate cake, consequently she forgot to eat her chocolate from her advent calendar. This evening she asked if she can have both yesterdays and todays, I said no, just have one as she had already had a hot chocolate this afternoon. This led her to having a massive tantrum, crying and screaming, I sent her to her room and said no chocolate at all then and took her advent calendar and put it away. DH then went to her room to talk to her, came back downstairs and basically said I was being unfair and should just let her have one. I said that’s not a good idea as she needs to learn she can’t keep crying over not getting sweets, highlighting there was a bigger problem that needs addressing.

DH ignored me and took the chocolate from the advent calendar and gave it to her. I’m fuming, mainly because of DH not backing me up. So was I being unreasonable saying no?

OP posts:
AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 21:41

Yes they are tiny.

Buttercupcup · 20/12/2020 21:43

I would be pissed that DH didn’t back me up but I would have let her have 2 tiny advent calendar chocolates they are hardly family size bars of dairy milk.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 20/12/2020 21:43

If you are meaning the tiny chocolates in the standard advent calendar, you've made a mountain out of a molehill.

Rachie1973 · 20/12/2020 21:44

I think obsessing over it will just backfire.

Is she overweight? Is her diet otherwise healthy? Does she exercise? Are her teeth healthy?

Most 9 year olds love sweets. She’s really not that unusual.

No to a small advent chocolate is just weird though. It’s way too firm.

PoppyOppy · 20/12/2020 21:44

Ffs it's less than an ounce of chocolate!

Oodlesofnoodles20 · 20/12/2020 21:45

I think if you are going to tackle your DDs sugar issue then this is not the time of year to do it. One small chocolate extra (which she would have all ready eaten yesterday anyway) causes all that fuss.
Why buy a chocolate calendar in the first place If there’s an issue? There are so many calendars out there that don’t have sweets.

Maybe set a bee year’s resolution that when the Christmas sweets are gone, she can only have them one/two times a week.

Notimeforaname · 20/12/2020 21:46

Yea it's a tiny piece of chocolate. This really isn't a problem. Yes your husband undermining you wasn't great but you were being unreasonable. The chocolate is tiny

RozHuntleysStump · 20/12/2020 21:46

God almighty. Your life so easy right now you have to create this nonsense drama/?

mollypuss1 · 20/12/2020 21:46

You said no to two tiny chocolates from an advent calendar? And you said no because she had already had hot chocolate?

You are massively U and I suspect your issues regarding a small amount of sugary sweets at Christmas is rubbing off on your DD and is why she has ‘issues’ about wanting sweets. (Although I don’t believe asking for two tiny chocolates from an advent calendar is an issue whatsoever)

user1473878824 · 20/12/2020 21:47

@RozHuntleysStump God I hate comments like this. Don’t you have anything bigger to worry about yourself?

itsgettingweird · 20/12/2020 21:47

I wouldn't buy my child a chocolate advent calendar if that then made me ration everything else sweet for the month.

It's meant to be an enjoyable way to build up to Christmas - not a punishment and chore.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/12/2020 21:47

I think you are being too controlling tbh.

It is her advent calendar, I can see why she would be upset about you suddenly deciding she couldn't have her choc from yesterday. It's like taking back a gift already given, like changing the rules.

VimFuego101 · 20/12/2020 21:47

2 tiny pieces of chocolate = not worth worrying over. But your DH undermining you is a bigger issue.

Feelingpoorlysick · 20/12/2020 21:47

It's not like she was asking for 2 Mars bars, Advent chocolates are so small it's not worth arguing about surely.
I would be annoyed at DH over ruling though. Parents are supposed to be a team.

ChalkDinosaur · 20/12/2020 21:48

Yabu to ban the advent choc (they're tiny and you obviously thought it was OK for DD to eat that total amount of chocolate when you gave her the calendar).

DH is BU for giving it to her without discussing it with you first.

Whattimeisdinner · 20/12/2020 21:48

Mountain out of molehill OP. Too controlling. Pick your battles.

Tinty · 20/12/2020 21:48

Yes you are being unreasonable, chocolate from a calendar is tiny.

negomi90 · 20/12/2020 21:48

The rule about advent chocolates is that they can't be eaten in advance. If missed, they can be eaten at leisure. When would you have let her eat it if not today? Or was it going in the bin because it was missed.

Pipandmum · 20/12/2020 21:48

Of course I would have let her have the chocolate! Its her calender, its a minute amount of chocolate and why on earth not? You were being way too controlling.

Elsielouise13 · 20/12/2020 21:49

YABU saying no to catchup on the calendar. You and your husband should have been able to agree on how to proceed tho. One of you is U there...

ancientgran · 20/12/2020 21:49

Why give her an advent calendar if you aren't going to let her have it? Is it to torment her or what. You will be giving her issues for Christmas.

lunar1 · 20/12/2020 21:49

I think you can't buy a chocolate calendar and then be so controlling over it.

LaceyBetty · 20/12/2020 21:50

I'm relatively strict about sweets but not when it comes to advent calendars. My vote is that you are being very unreasonable.

Whattimeisdinner · 20/12/2020 21:50

DH ignored me and took the chocolate from the advent calendar and gave it to her. I’m fuming, mainly because of DH not backing me up

You were being ridiculous OP. I wouldn't have backed you up either.

Mangofandangoo · 20/12/2020 21:50

Honestly I really think you're being mean here. It's a tiny amount of chocolate and it's a few days to Christmas! Lighten up 😂

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