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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL rang to say Xmas presents were wrong

244 replies

WotsitWiggle · 20/12/2020 12:52

DH bought a top for his niece and a football related gift for his nephew (both teenagers). Sent to MIL asking if they could wrap and distribute. He does this every year as we are 250 miles away, but the rest of the family are streets from each other.

MIL rang last night to say he'd bought nephew the same present as last year and the top for niece was too small.

I think this is really bad manners. I've been brought up to be gracious in receiving presents. MIL and BIL have both bought wrong sized othes for DD in the past, or duplicate presents. We've never called them to say there's a problem, just quietly sorted it out behind the scenes.

So as not to dripfeed, MIL is DHs stepmum.

AIBU - MIL was trying to make sure the kids have nice presents
YANBU - how rude!

OP posts:
Lavanderrose · 20/12/2020 12:56

Trying to be helpful I suppose, but next time they make a mistake with the their gifts m I’d let them know about it.

custardbear · 20/12/2020 12:57

What's wrong with changing them?

SpiderGwen · 20/12/2020 12:57

He bought the poor kid the same thing twice?

BrieAndChilli · 20/12/2020 12:58

It went the recipient though was it? Maybe she thought she was being helpful and giving DH a heads up in case he had time to sort it before Christmas?

dementedpixie · 20/12/2020 12:58

Maybe should have asked for sizes in advance. I wouldn't buy clothing without knowing what size to buy

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 20/12/2020 12:59

You would rather the niece got a useless Christmas present she couldn't wear than MIL point out the mistake? Seems like an odd attitude to me.

SimplyRadishing · 20/12/2020 12:59

She is looking out for her grandkids and He sounds like a shit uncle (sorry!)

Aprilx · 20/12/2020 13:00

I was also brought up to be gracious in receiving presents. However these were not presents received, the MIL has commented on his choices in an advisory manner to perhaps give him the opportunity to rectify the errors. It does seem like he could put a bit more effort in, including wrapping up his own presents.

Gardeniaofdelights · 20/12/2020 13:00

Your husband has been a bit of an idiot. It would be rude for the niece and nephew to complain (though they would have some justification!) but it sounds like your MIL is just trying to intervene while there’s still time to resolve the problem and save your husband from looking like a knob to his niece and nephew.

OrangeGinLemonFanta · 20/12/2020 13:01

Also if your husband can't be arsed doing his own wrapping he isn't in a position to moan. And MIL doesn't need to be gracious about a gift for someone else she got lumbered with wrapping and delivering. I manage to wrap and post all my gifts for distant family members. She is doing him a big favour and he should give himself a wobble.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/12/2020 13:01

Sounds a bit like you want to find DHs Stepmum to be in the wrong. She isn't, she's trying to help him avoid upsetting his nephew and niece!

HotSince63 · 20/12/2020 13:01

When someone's doing you the favour of wrapping and distributing your gifts for you - you've got a damn cheek expecting them to run around, this close to Christmas "quietly sorting it out behind the scenes" because your DH couldn't be arsed to buy something different this year and at least check that the sizes were right.

Gonkytonk · 20/12/2020 13:02

It’s not like the children or their parents pointed it out. That could be rude.

It was MIL who you’d asked to act as a go between who was doing you a favour and trying to save it appearing as if you don’t give a shit by sending wrong sizes and duplicate gifts.

YABU for thinking she was rude when in fact it’s more you being thoughtless and she was trying to help.

CatholicKidston · 20/12/2020 13:02

You're being so unreasonable it's hard to know where to start tbh.

Smallsteps88 · 20/12/2020 13:03

Your Dh is in the wrong here. Also I think it’s pretty shit to have them delivered to MIL to wrap.

negomi90 · 20/12/2020 13:03

It didn't come from the kids. It came from the person in between, and I think that if he brought the same present twice in a row and the wrong size, then not a lot of thought has gone in for people to be greatful for.

LunchBoxPolice · 20/12/2020 13:03

Well it’s a bit shit buying the kid the same thing he bought them last year.

Hahaha88 · 20/12/2020 13:04

He bought the same thing twice in a row and got the size wrong and you think your mil is in the wrong?!

Ponoka7 · 20/12/2020 13:04

Gifts should be about the recipient and it should be something that they'd be able to use/enjoy. We don't need more unnecessary stuff for the sake of it.

If they are getting older then perhaps go towards giving money, or ask ahead of time. Teenagers like decent perfume/makeup/aftershave now a days, money towards that and other expensive stufc is always appreciated.

22Giraffes · 20/12/2020 13:05

So the kids should just suck it up because their uncle put no effort into their presents? YABU.

PatchworkElmer · 20/12/2020 13:06
  • Why doesn’t he wrap and send the presents directly to recipients?
  • It’s pretty crappy to buy the same thing 2 years running...
Notthisnotthat · 20/12/2020 13:06

My kids got clothes that didn't fit from an Uncle they never see. Very kind of him to send a gift but surely a gift receipt should accompany clothing gifts, so it can be exchanged if the sizing is wrong. There was no receipt forthcoming so the clothes were donated to charity.

M0rT · 20/12/2020 13:07

A too small top for a teenage girl could bring tears on Christmas Day, your MIL was right to point this out!
Especially since presumably she will be the one returning the gifts so your DH could send more appropriate ones to her to wrap and deliver...so she is actually putting work on herself for her step grandchildren....

Stinkyjellycat · 20/12/2020 13:08

YABU. Wrap and send your own presents you lazy pair.

bert3400 · 20/12/2020 13:08

Sounds like you are trying to stir up trouble between your DH and his Step mum. Is there a back story ?