MIL rang to say Xmas presents were wrong

[WotsitWiggle]

DH bought a top for his niece and a football related gift for his nephew (both teenagers). Sent to MIL asking if they could wrap and distribute. He does this every year as we are 250 miles away, but the rest of the family are streets from each other.

MIL rang last night to say he'd bought nephew the same present as last year and the top for niece was too small.

I think this is really bad manners. I've been brought up to be gracious in receiving presents. MIL and BIL have both bought wrong sized othes for DD in the past, or duplicate presents. We've never called them to say there's a problem, just quietly sorted it out behind the scenes.

So as not to dripfeed, MIL is DHs stepmum.

AIBU - MIL was trying to make sure the kids have nice presents
YANBU - how rude!

Well if it’s bad manners to try ensure your grandkids can actually make use of gifts they receive, then it’s worse manners to send someone the same gift twice in a row and to buy them clothes without bothering to find out their size in advance.

Why doesn't he wrap them?

Teenagers like decent perfume/makeup/aftershave now a days

Mine would hate that due to allergies. Stick to vouchers if you don't know them well enough to buy something that they will love.

Also think DH is wrong on two counts - thoughtless presents and expecting his stepmum to wrap them.

My brother sent presents to our house to give to his great nephews/our grandchildren. Somehow he managed to send them wrapped. He also asked their mum what presents they would like. Obviously have very evolved men in my family.

YABU even AIBU

Same present two years in a row, he doesn't put much thought into gifts does he? And yes you needed to be called out.

YABU. Your DH sounds really lazy and as though he’s done the bare minimum and thinks he can just wash his hands.

He should have asked what they would be interested in and what they’d like, and if he’s insisting on buying without any info whatsoever he needs to check sizes first.

He should also be wrapping the presents before sending them.

Sounds like she was trying to help. I don't get why you'd send presents to someone else to wrap. Why can't he wrap them himself and send them directly?

I think it’s perfectly normal for her to point this out. He’ll have the receipts to swap them won’t he! Also, why doesn’t he wrap them?

Next year send them amazon vouchers your husband just sent clothes that wasn't. Right to his step mum to wrap the woman pointed this out and she is the rude one 🙄

It's pretty crappy to send the same gift again

Sorry, I'm on MIL side - that does sound like a bloody poor effort!

What was she supposed to do?

Your husband sounds lazy and thoughtless and you have the cheek to act offended when he is called out on it. Some people are unbelievable

Gifts should be about the recipient and it should be something that they'd be able to use/enjoy. We don't need more unnecessary stuff for the sake of it.

This!

Also as others have said, why couldn’t he wrap them himself? If he can send them off, he can wrap them. Your MIL is great to have said something and remember that he had repeated a gift.

I will also add considering your family lives so far away from them, why not ask the their parents what their children would like?

We are 9+ hour round trip from my in-laws and we see nieces and nephews a few times a year and haven’t seen them since last Christmas so we don’t know what they’re into so we chat with BIL & SIL and ask so we know what they like and what is appropriate and vice versa so all the kids get something they would like otherwise it would be a waste of money.

Well I think she's trying to help. It's also a bit ridiculous that the presents can't be wrapped and posted?
There's no point a child getting something the wrong size?

Worst part is it was completely daft of an uncle to buy a top for a teenage girl! One he clearly doesn't know well enough to be able to choose the right size for. Unless it's something she specifically requested?

It is a bit crap to get his mother to wrap for him. I can understand sending all distant gifts together, but still ...

Sending the same present twice is verging on unforgivable. (In the absence of genuine difficulty.)

Money definitely the best plan next year!

Your OH sounds a bit useless tbh. You expect MIL to wrap and distribute? Why not just wrap yourself and send to them directly?

She’s doing you a favour telling you the gifts are no good. Your OH needs to fix it

How is that unreasonable of her? If the presents dh bought are a replica and won't fit then surely you'd rather know? If the roles were reversed would you just go ahead and wrap something that you knew wouldn't fit the recipient and be a disappointment..? That sounds bonkers to me.

I don't think she did anything wrong. Would you prefer dh buying the same top for a 3rd time and wrong size again next year? It's not about being gracious, what do you want them to do with it especially the top that doesn't fit.

She is probably just letting you know while there is still time to change it?

Maybe return it and swap for a gift card that can be sent electronically

@SimplyRadishing

She is looking out for her grandkids and He sounds like a shit uncle (sorry!)

She is looking out for her grandkids but this does not make him a shit uncle, that's just ridiculous.

Yabu, why waste your money on something that is unsuitable and duplicated.

And others have said he is cheeky leaving the wrapping to mum!

Why weren't they sent direct to the teenagers? Unless MIL is nosy and gas to know everything. If the top is the wrong size the girl can change it herself, no big deal.

So he can’t be stated to wrap the presents before sending them, doesn’t take any care to ensure the gifts are appropriate or not duplicates, and still the stepmother is the baddie here?

YAB massively U here.

Your lazy husband needs to take responsibility and stop burdening this stepmother every year. He sounds utterly useless.