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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think more MC women should try dating WC men

351 replies

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 05:46

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

OP posts:
Ihavethesecret · 20/12/2020 05:47
Confused
NoDontDoIt · 20/12/2020 05:49
Biscuit

Think this was written by a WC man as a manifesto Grin

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 05:49

@Ihavethesecret
...? What's the issue?

OP posts:
CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 05:51

@NoDontDoIt
😂 I can see your point it does sound somewhat zealous. I'm serious though.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 20/12/2020 05:54

Kind of like reverse Eliza Doolittle

SillyMoomin · 20/12/2020 05:57

So by your reckoning only WC people know how to fix cars or keep their house clean or box? Hmm

speakout · 20/12/2020 06:01

This shows my prejudice

Yup.

Raspberry681 · 20/12/2020 06:03

Interesting! In my experience, the WC men I knew at school were also much more keen to find the right person to settle down with early and took pride in becoming a father. The MC men I know from uni seemed to treat it as a source of pride to wait as long as humanly possible to settle down! One of my best friends who is single at 33 is from a WC background but has mainly met MC men over the last few years and seems to have met a high proportion of commitment phobes. She’s beautiful and lovely so it’s not her! I do think, if only she’d not gone to uni and had continued to date amongst our school circle she’d be settled now. She’s asked her dad (plumber) a few years ago if he knew of anyone who knew of anyone nice who is single but they’ve all been snapped up years ago!

Casschops · 20/12/2020 06:04

Because WC people are all one homogeneous group.....oh dear send for water !

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/12/2020 06:05

What's a WC womenConfused

SillyMoomin · 20/12/2020 06:08

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

What's a WC womenConfused
Working Class / Middle Class
ForestNymph · 20/12/2020 06:09

@Raspberry681

Interesting! In my experience, the WC men I knew at school were also much more keen to find the right person to settle down with early and took pride in becoming a father. The MC men I know from uni seemed to treat it as a source of pride to wait as long as humanly possible to settle down! One of my best friends who is single at 33 is from a WC background but has mainly met MC men over the last few years and seems to have met a high proportion of commitment phobes. She’s beautiful and lovely so it’s not her! I do think, if only she’d not gone to uni and had continued to date amongst our school circle she’d be settled now. She’s asked her dad (plumber) a few years ago if he knew of anyone who knew of anyone nice who is single but they’ve all been snapped up years ago!
I've noticed this as well about settling down and becoming a father. My husband is from a WC background and we had our kids young, he was ecstatic about it.
inquietant · 20/12/2020 06:11

I'm not sure a MC/WC relationship is the big taboo you're making out.

And there are a lot of stereotypes in your post.

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 06:12

@Raspberry681
I would agree with what you say. I only have one friend who is married with children, and all of his are (we're in our 30s). A friend of mine sounds like yours and she always meets these men who are interested in meditation, self discovery, travel, and just end up dicking her around because they still feel like they need to keep their freedom.

OP posts:
Toilenstripes · 20/12/2020 06:12

This is why I think the whole British class system is ridiculous. You found a good, decent man. With the exception of the ass slapping 😆 sounds a lot like mine. I do agree that it’s sexy when they can fix anything and just generally figure things out.

Namechanger0800 · 20/12/2020 06:13

Never really thought about it but BF 1 was WC and lovely ....just ran its course. Then dated a series of MC men who cheated on
Me, didn't want to commit to anything, navel
Gazed about not being too keen and wanted all the power in the relationship

Happily Married nearly 20 years to my WC guy. He can fix a car or a broken appliance, cooks and cleans equally, and does his share equally with house/ kids/ pets. Believes women truly are equal and has always been respectful and loving. We both have careers

My sister on the other had married MC guy. He can't fix shit and our dad is still going over there to do simple DIY tasks. She also does all the cleaning cooking and childcare and they have a more traditional she's a sahm he's the big earner type relationship.

Kaliorphic · 20/12/2020 06:14

Probably op. Although I doubt you're a genuine poster and no doubt gathering information for something else, I don't disagree with you. There is a tendancy for women to look for men more educated than themselves, not less, I include myself in this, and I have thought recently that it would have been better to expand the criteria on that, looking back over my numerous life / relationship mistakes.

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 06:16

@SillyMoomin

I'm sorry if you're in complete denial that class differences exist but they do. And yes, a WC man is more likely to box AND fix cars. I'll admit I'm not sure about the house cleaning thing though.

Where I'm from all the men take their cars to the garage except for the smallest tasks.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 20/12/2020 06:17

If you are WC and left school at 16 and went into a trade then you're more likely to settle down early as you're earning early, and have cash for your own place.

If you're MC and went to uni and do a masters and go travelling etc then you can be mid twenties and still living in a house share and relying on student loan. I think uni definitely infantilises people. (I'm WC but went to uni).

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 06:17

@Kaliorphic
Probably dating apps dont help with this. Because if I'd seen his interests on a dating profile, I would have just swiped by assuming we would be way too different. In reality we met in a bar and just clicked straight away.

OP posts:
Namechanger0800 · 20/12/2020 06:18

And then thinking of my MC female friends the most unhappiest women are married to MC guys.

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 06:19

@TeachesOfPeaches
That's interesting I'd never considered uni could be an issue here but you're right. Plus after the Masters throw in a year or two of internships (in some industries) and that would mean by the time you are actually earning enough to even just rent your own place you're 28 or 29. So then it makes sense I guess to want a few more years of just enjoying that.

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 20/12/2020 06:20

People from similar backgrounds as a whole are probably more compatible but if you both have similar values and priorities in life it shouldn't matter what your background is.

Situations where say one wants to save for a house deposit and get a mortgage and the other wants to spend now and go on the waiting list for a council house could be tricky to compromise on.

Kaliorphic · 20/12/2020 06:21

I probably wouldn't have used a dating app tbh. I definitely would have actively chosen someone more educated than me though, even if I was out and met someone I liked. Looking back I do think that was a mistake.

catbunnydog · 20/12/2020 06:22

I feel like you’re being goady but also kind of insulting in a backwards way to WC men...like you’re so proud of yourself for dating someone who grew up differently to you. Like you’re more daring or something? It’s very ick.

For what it’s worth - I guess I would be MC and my ex of 10 yrs was WC, didn’t finish school, I have a masters etc. We got on great for many years but tbh he was very insecure about my education and my friends who were not WC like him, it got extremely wearing after a while.

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