To think more MC women should try dating WC men

[CrotchBurn]

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

@SnuggyBuggy
You’ve got it

What are you on about? Sexing fixing stuff? All men should be able (or at least try) to fix stuff! women too. Sounds like the blokes you went out with before had poor upbringing and limited life experience rather than it bring their class

I think it would make sense to give examples of the 'interesting and insightful' views.

As others are saying, this post does read like a quest to gather more examples for a DM article - even if though this might be your experience, at the moment.

However, it's also possible that the situation is that your energy is on your well-paid job, and you are pleased to have a fit guy at home who conforms to your stereotype of the guy in the Pepsi advert, cleaning windows or whatever - fit and macho and doing what, to be honest, could be in your imagination, the male equivalent of the 1950s little woman looking pretty and sexy in an apron serving up meals at home. Arm candy with a spanner rather than a bunch of flowers in his hand. It comes across as too much imagination, as just how many times does someone need to be mending things- what are they doing the rest of the time: watching sport on their phone probably - which isn't very sexy.

It could be your guy, sensing that you like what you essentially conceptualise as ' a bit of rough' plays up to your stereotype in his breezily instinctive and 'insightful' way, and humours you. He probably finds DIY jobs to do to play up to the role, possibly softening you up for the 'Should I work fewer hours to leave time for all these household snags' conversations. The slapping your arse sounds a terrible cliche.

This is a generalisation, but I do think that being clever and confident and effective at work can sometimes mean you don't use the perceptive muscle as much, as adversity and early life experience of mistrusting tends to make you work harder at reading people and juggling simultaneous possibilities/ potentialities at once in your mind. Complacency and brains can create a superficial outlook. The persona you're projecting for yourself in this post comes across as a bit simplistic and dense, if you don't mind me saying - but I do think this is foraying for fodder for an article, so it isn't really you.'Working class' upbringings may or may not be free of adversity - certainly they are financially secure, often, because of the plentitude of well-paid plumbing/ electrician jobs and the tradition of living close to relatives who traditionally have helped with childcare.

You don't say if you have children. Sometimes it's the family attitudes which can cause differences of viewpoint. Grandparents and aunts whose views may not coincide with the 'middle-class' ones which you were brought up with, but who don't have the sexy persona and nous to deliver these views in a refreshingly direct and enticing way.

OP all WC men are not the same. It is pure chance that your two favoured elation ships happened to be WC men.

Mine is working class and he cannot fix a car, do any form of DIY other than assemble flat pack furniture and he doesn’t box. My WC father was much the same.

Thinking about it the "perfect man" would come from a working class family that taught him if all of that salt of the earth practical stuff, then gone to uni and travelled thus becoming metropolitan and cultured and then gone in to a high earning job

I've got one of those. Fixes cars, does DIY etc. Manages to be metropolitan, cultured and earns a decent amount, albeit not by Mumsnet standards, despite not going to going to university.

It does cause confusion with his building site colleagues when they find out he doesn't like football, doesn't read the tabloids, voted remain, likes books and classical music, holidays are city breaks or authentic quiet coastal places rather than 'stuff your face and party large AI' though.

Yup the scan comment is bad. But I’ve also had to listen to other ridiculous ideas from them all, it was bad during the black lives matter protests and also conspiracy nonsense about Covid.

The golf thing is widespread, I remember lads at college playing and now the blokes are going on about it. Literally spend all weekend doing it and their wives are just left with the kids. But we know mc that do that too

I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.
Although I'm a bit about the whiff of stereotyping, I am also now very worried my MC DH wouldn't know how to sort out an apocalypse on the spot.

My husband is middle class but he can definitely fix things. He has mended many of our items in the house and has built a larder and window seats. He also does most of the cooking, all the gardening and always knows what to do in an emergency. He doesn't box though.

Just wondering what you bring to the party ? Presumably £££. DH has aristocratic relatives and is very handy (agree it's sexy, but also exasperating). Couldn't change a nappy when I met him though.

My WC husband has never cleaned. Perhaps he’s faulty?

I think I'll also give "perfect man" an inheritance from a long lost "MC" family member

Clearly it’s time the online dating agencies got with it op - tick box for WC tick box for MC
Can you change a nappy or hammer up
Some dry wall - tick box

[quote Gingerkittykat]I know we are not meant to troll hunt but.........

[/quote] This is spot on! Bravo

My WC DH has a career in stopping baddies, is very good at violent videogames, has an apocalypse escape plan in his head and has fantastic survival skills.

If this Covid lockdown goes to hell and descends into an apocalypse, we'll be set

Hmmmm. My DH is very able with his hands and also 100% takes his full share of cleaning, cooking, childcare etc. and he’s degree educated and works in a professional job so has all the markers of MC now, so I was thinking he refutes your hypothesis, but actually I think probably his background could be described as WC.

I’m not bothered much about class. Education level and ambition is more important to me. I have two postgraduate degrees and taught in a university, and now work in medical research, and it was important to me that my partner have some university education. I just don’t think I would be compatible with someone who had left school at 18. It indicates mindset for me.

Have you seen Jeremy Kyle? Or is that lower class?

The best of both worlds: a MC man with WC parents. All the benefits without the twattery. But he can't fix shit so I do the DIY and most of the driving.

Seriosuly though, I read your post and guffawed at the stereotypes. Like WC men are some exotic breed. It feels like you enjoy your 'bit of rough'. My Dad and step-dad are WC, neither slap arses but yes, both settled down early and can do DIY. My dad though is an artist and my step dad is not the macho type at all so WC men are not a strict 'type'. I do agree WC men tend to be a bit more ready to take things as they come and just get on with stuff without all the self realisation bullshit of the middle classes though.

[quote CrotchBurn]@GreenlandTheMovie
In what way would a dentist be artistic?!

Actually my imaginary ideal man would be a vet. Like you say, a "professional" but could with his hands. Also I'm a hypochondriac and am assuming he would also know stuff about human biology to reassure me. HOWEVER I did read somewhere that vets as a profession have very high suicide rates [/quote]
Married to a vet here (the James Herriot sort) you do need to get used to the late night call outs, Christmas days on your own and a car that stinks of cowpoo, (and half the salary of a dentist). But we both work in the industry so it works both ways.

It is high suicide rate, some people believe that as vets are psychologically conditioned into routinely viewing putting animals down as a solution to suffering, it is easier for them to project that onto their own suffering (and have opportunity to do it in gentle, painless ways).

He’s an amazing dad and good at fixing things and doing housework. But he did grow up in a large blended family so had to take responsibility for chores and babysitting from teenage which I thinks makes a massive difference, not growing up as mummy’s special prince.

I just don’t think I would be compatible with someone who had left school at 18. It indicates mindset for me.

Your last sentence is rather snobby, @NaughtipussMaximus. I'm sure there are many people who would love to go to university but are unable to for extenuating circumstances.

@Canwecancel2020 ooh do you end up babysitting and adopting loads of baby farm animals? Have you got a baby lamb instead of a cat?

[quote HermannlovesPauline]@Canwecancel2020 ooh do you end up babysitting and adopting loads of baby farm animals? Have you got a baby lamb instead of a cat?[/quote]
this has actually never happened

Do you know what , I see what you are saying and kind of agree.
WC men tend also not to be so useless round the house. They can do stuff.

Gosh, yes, OP. How progressive of you. You should start a dating app called BagAProle or YourOwnOik. Absolutely.

Can I ask whether you’ve actually met any WC men, OP or is this based on some Lady Chatterley’s Lover-style fantasy involving lusting over some distant brickie’s biceps?

This thread! My husband is WC, he went to uni, became an Investment Manager and still can’t fix a thing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This entire idea that one should purposefully 'look' into a class (any class) to increase their chances of finding a good partner is, in all honesty, off for me. You can't really generalize like that.

For example, I'd count as MC due to both family and my own education/job and I couldn't care less if the man can fix things around the house while boxing would pretty much be a minus rather than a plus in my book as I don't find even sporting violence attractive. I was looking for a kindred spirit, someone who shared my interests and someone to trust and enjoy spending time/talking to. One of the things I personally find attractive is education - and I've met men from both WC and MC who fit that.

You should start a dating app called BagAProle or YourOwnOik. Absolutely.