To think more MC women should try dating WC men

[CrotchBurn]

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

To be fair there are dating sites for different religions or people who like uniforms 🤷‍♀️

I'd definately avoid men who have trust funds. The two I've dated still haven't settled down, at 40 and 38 respectively, and shag around and cheat.

There's definately something about holding down a regular paid job that encourages men to behave well. Fear of notoriety?

After 2 bad, but different, experiences with degree educated engineers, I avoid them. The first was practical but boring and rude, the second impractical and prissy. Both had issues with well educated women with good jobs (one of them actually told me that I was "too attractive and good looking" while breaking up with me. My friend also got ditched by one recently, who told her she "wasn't plain enough for him".

So ill refine my choice to a slightly aristocratic dentist from a somewhat impoverished background who specialises in implants!

@Canwecancel2020
I always assumed the high suicide rate would be down to presumably seeing people want to put to sleep healthy animals on a regular basis or conversely keeping animals alive when they should be put to sleep. It must be hard to see that. I would find it difficult to get that out of my mind.

@Maigue
Oh bore off!

I've dated two very WC men and four very MC men. I am from a MMC/ UMC background.

The first WC guy was a useless, lazy slob who ended up cheating on me.

The one I'm with now is amazing in many ways, does want to settle down and is the only guy who's ever made sure things are equal in any way. He does have a different outlook on money than me (I am more careful to save long-term, he saves to spend it on pre-planned projects) and also on the use of time, but I can only see the money as being a WC thing as he grew up dirt poor.
I agree that both WC men were/are keen to settle.

However, I am the one who does the DIY/ fixing work. DP would rather pay someone to do it; he doesn't see it worth his limited time to do a worse job himself than a tradesman would do as he recognises he doesn't have the skill. I do, so I do a lot of DIY jobs, because I am curious to gain new skills all the time. DP likes specialising in what interests him.

I can see money-related differences in WC/MC relationships, but not much else, because so much just depends on your upbringing.

I grew up in a very working class East London family and area, the men take their cars to the garage, get tradesmen in rather than DIY and I don't know a single boxer. You're fetishising working class men in quite a grim way. DH and I grew up in the same town, similar background, he now has two degrees, a master's and can barely put water in his car. I do most of the decorating and we pay for trickier bits to be done by a professional. DB does always know someone who knows someone though.....

My sil is with a WC man. He is physically, emotionally and financially abusive to her. Is that because she's WC as well, or is it because WC men are as varied as everyone else?

Mil is WC and her late husband was also WC. He cheated on her multiple times, had a whole secret family at one point, and drank himself to death. So I don't think picking a WC man worked for her either.

Dh is from a WC background, but went to uni and has a professional job so I'm not sure he counts as WC any more. He is lovely though. And properly feminist, in that he's never felt threatened about me being the main earner, he went pt after dd was born, he does all the cooking and more than his fair share of the rest of the housework, etc.

A lot of the MC men I know are not up to much round the house and I wonder if it’s because Mummy was always at home to do it for them?

Quite unbelievable that anyone would discuss WC/MC as if each is some homogeneous group of people who all think/work/behave in the same ways.

Switch WC/MC for races or religions and see how ridiculous it sounds.

My husband can fix stuff. He used to work with with a builder. He can cook and clean competently and pulls his weight with childcare. He’s also a barrister with an Oxbridge degree.

So... what? We all know stereotypes and we all know people who aren’t stereotypes.

My husband is working class and I'm probably lower middle at a push. He's shite at fixing things and cleaning, he does occasionally slap my arse though. But this thread is entertaining.

Someone call Christopher Colombus, OP has found a new world.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing

The ferrets tend to be a bit annoying 'though.

This thread 😳😳😳

I find the OP's post verging on offensive

Me too.

I'm in Ireland. There are absolutely class differences, for sure, but no-one talks in terms of WC / MC etc.

I assumed OP was a wind-up merchant to start but it seems not.

Imagining analysing your current / past relationships on the basis of each person's class, linking that to assumed stereotypes about each class 🤨

Some of OP's post is unreal:

although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass

As a PP said, what about the idea of going out with people you like, and marrying someone you love? 🧐

@C8H10N4O2

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing

The ferrets tend to be a bit annoying 'though.

The comments on this thread are brilliant!

[quote CrotchBurn]@Maigue
Oh bore off![/quote]
Gotta love the MC woman’s quick-wittedness.

Us proles just grunt and point like Stig of the Dump. And smack peoples’ arses for emphasis.

[quote CrotchBurn]@Canwecancel2020
I always assumed the high suicide rate would be down to presumably seeing people want to put to sleep healthy animals on a regular basis or conversely keeping animals alive when they should be put to sleep. It must be hard to see that. I would find it difficult to get that out of my mind.[/quote]
This happens less than you’d think, in very many cases something can be worked out to rehome them, some healthy dogs are pts for behaviour reasons of course. I believe mass slaughtering of healthy animals took its toll during foot and mouth disease. In general I think vets find it more stressful when animals are suffering, reached the end of the line with treatment, and owners can’t let them go or from the pressure of expectation to ‘save’ everything. There can be a lot of lone working and poor support in some practices but there has been a lot of work to improve this.

But in general I believe vets commit suicide mainly for the same reason as anyone else... poor mental health, addiction, stress, loneliness, relationship breakdown etc

And sorry for the derail

@StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff

A lot of the MC men I know are not up to much round the house and I wonder if it’s because Mummy was always at home to do it for them?

Oh. My. God.

Are there surely not many many MC mothers in Britain who work outside the home?

This thread is rapidly moving from the sublime to the ridiculous.

I think people shouldn't discount others because of their background and form relationships based on their personalities, compatibility and life goals.

I’ve only scanned the thread because it would have been an unpleasant read on a Sunday morning.
MN is the right place for a troll to post about class issues and involving romance/love only adds to the fire.

Ladies, it’s what’s known as trying “a bit of rough”.

But won't these working class men murder the alphabet?
They might be oh-so-good at fixing things, but they drop their hs, miss out their ts, and mangle their vowels.

Won't somebody please think about RP

Well dh has a degree but his dad was a miner and he grew up in a council house, so where does he stand in your hierarchy of suitable men, OP? He can certainly fix stuff - we're both practical types and that's how we became friends, in the first place.

This reads like it was written by a bored DM journo trying to while away the lonely hours at St Pancras, waiting for a train out before London goes into Lockdown.

Haha, that's my impression too

The whole class thing confuses me, working class people do go to uni 🤔, classes over lap? Do they even really exist?

I have dated people with no money and people who are loaded, tbh the last person I dated who was very well off was the most boring person I have met, found myself yawning during a date whilst he told me about his private plane and his posh 2nd home in France, he seemed totally unaware of the small things going around him and other people (other than criticising them). I have dated what you probably class as WC and they have probably been the most thoughtful men, more likely to open a door for you, more likely to offer to pay, they have made me feel more comfortable as I haven’t been pushing above my weight, I felt I didn’t have to try hard to impress them and I could be myself.

I didn’t go to uni, I don’t have loads of money and I don’t ow my own home, money isn’t the most important thing to me but I wouldn’t want to date someone who is in debt up to their eye balls or didn’t have a job either.

DH is shit at DIY but I'm pretty good as I don't conform to sex stereotypes