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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say we have it a lot worse?

200 replies

NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:26

Not being able to see my DP who I have been with for 2 and a half years because of coronavirus? He is everything to me but we live apart and cannot be together. Most likely won't even see each other until Easter if we are lucky.
Yes we have kept our jobs and nobody has died/we have not had the virus but aibu to say this is unbelievably tough on us and to not know how we will get through it?

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/12/2020 22:28

Why do you live apart?

CherryPavlova · 19/12/2020 22:30

I would think submariners, oil rig workers, deployed military, aid workers all have it far harder. Imagine nine months apart. Imagine three months with no contact at all.

sparklefarts · 19/12/2020 22:31

I'd guard yourself for this one OP.. you'll get some justified answers I imagine.

Why did you not move in together at the start?

FrostyGotFurloughed · 19/12/2020 22:32

When did you last see each other? Do you live in different countries?

BuffaloCauliflower · 19/12/2020 22:33

I would move in together even if only in a temporary way if at all possible

Original poster

NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:33

We did during the first lockdown but I had to move back home for work. We have been apart since November and most likely won't see each other until Easter if we are lucky. I just can't see how we will do it.

OP posts:

TheRaccoon · 19/12/2020 22:33

I do really feel for you, but this isn’t a competition

CatholicKidston · 19/12/2020 22:34

Why have you decided you won't be able to see him until Easter

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 19/12/2020 22:34

I'm not trying to win the misery lottery but I haven't lived with dh for 5 months due to covid. We've been together for 11 years and have 2 dc, we're now facing Christmas apart. This is particularly hard for him, at least I'm with our dc!
It's shitty.

ElizaLaLa · 19/12/2020 22:34

I dont think you've got it hard at all op. You can facetime etc. Some people are seriously ill or have lost loved ones.

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:35

So you have it worse than people who have lost jobs and loved ones??!!!!! Really?! YABU

Yes we have kept our jobs and nobody has died

Well, aren't you lucky - give your head a wobble.

Love51 · 19/12/2020 22:36

I really feel for people in your situation.

housemdwaswrong · 19/12/2020 22:36

We've all given up something. I think your post is in really poor taste. It's a hell of a lot tougher for thousands of people.

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/12/2020 22:36

Its hard for everybody. I've not been able to visit my parents, who are in their 80's since last year.

daisypond · 19/12/2020 22:37

Since November. So, you’ve been apart for a couple of weeks? You think that’s hard?

Honeybobbin · 19/12/2020 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smallsteps88 · 19/12/2020 22:37

I just can't see how we will do it.

What do you mean? What’s the alternative? Accidentally going to each other’s houses? Of course you will do it. Just like everyone else is enduring this situation in their own different ways. Being separated from your partner is hard, yes, but certainly survivable.

crankysaurus · 19/12/2020 22:38

Lots of people are finding it tough for lots of different reasons but you do have my sympathy, that will be hard. My DH did two 6-month postings with the forces in the days before contact by mobile phone and email, it was difficult but worth it as we both loved each other. It is possible, you'll find ways and this will all ease off.

ARoseDowntown · 19/12/2020 22:38

It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself.

It’s totally not okay to say, on a public forum where people regularly post about life-changingly horrific and traumatic experiences, that you have it a lot worse.

What are you even seeking to achieve by this thread? I’d get it deleted if I were you.

Original poster

NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:39

Even if we could move in together now I would not be able to as not allowed in a tier 4 area.
As for Easter, that's probably the only time we will be legally allowed to meet.

OP posts:

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:39

Agree with housemdwaswrong - your post is in very poor taste considering 66,541 people have actually DIED in the UK so far. What are you on about!?

Canwecancel2020 · 19/12/2020 22:40

@crankysaurus

Good compassionate advice here.

willieversleep · 19/12/2020 22:41

My dm has been given her 3rd cancer diagnosis in less than 6 months, had multiple surgeries and is now fighting an infection. I haven't seen her since august and don't know when I will.

Everyone has their own sacrifices- it's not a competition.

I'm sorry you feel hopeless at the minute.

PicsInRed · 19/12/2020 22:41

Expats have all their family on the other side of the world and no prospect of seeing them for 1 or more years from now - having already been cut off for almost all of 2020. There you are.