To say we have it a lot worse?

[NorthEast322]

Not being able to see my DP who I have been with for 2 and a half years because of coronavirus? He is everything to me but we live apart and cannot be together. Most likely won't even see each other until Easter if we are lucky.
Yes we have kept our jobs and nobody has died/we have not had the virus but aibu to say this is unbelievably tough on us and to not know how we will get through it?

Why can't you see each other? Support bubble?

N/C for this.

You don’t have it worse than lots of people.

My partner works away so I can’t see him. We don’t live together because we both have teens to see through school but we have plans to in the 2 years.

I haven’t seen my adult son since last Christmas. He was due to come this Christmas but had already decided not to because he’s an anaesthetist and working with Covid patients and in a hospital.

He was coming home because my parent has terminal cancer and (oh the irony) is currently in ICU following an operation (which hasn’t gone well).

I can’t see my daughter because she works in retail and is flat to the mat til Christmas so I’m completely on my own.

I can’t go to see my dad because he’s in icu and no visitors are allowed.

I had a life changing accident this time last year which I need more surgery for and that is postponed because of the coronavirus.

And I haven’t seen my partner since august.

Do you want to swap?

Oh and when I saw him in august that was the first time I’d seen him since March.

But I count us lucky we have FaceTime. It could be very very much worse and is for lots of people.

My friend has lost a parent, a brother and a cousin to Covid as well as some family members to normal things (car crash/cancer/heart attack type stuff).

I hope you waken this morning, give yourself a bit of a shake and realise it’s not so bad.

I know of a young boy (school age) nearby who has lost both his parents to covid. Do you REALLY think you're worse off than him?

You need to give yourself a fucking shake.

🤭

😆

@HowManyToes

I know of a young boy (school age) nearby who has lost both his parents to covid. Do you REALLY think you're worse off than him?

You need to give yourself a fucking shake.

Oh this is so sad 😢 everyone needs to stop complaining about missing out on a big celebration when there are children who have nothing to celebrate at all.

I had a long distance relationship where for a year and a half we only saw each other every 3 months. FaceTime is great.

I think a lot of people are suffering. My best friend's wife is dying from cancer - this is her last Christmas. I haven't been able to see her for a year nor have any friends as her treatment made her vulnerable. One friend's husband has lost her job and they are struggling to keep their house. A freelance couple I know have each seen their income fall by 25 per cent.

My father 91 will spend Christmas Day alone, as will my sister and 2 of my nephews. One stuck abroad. My DC have had a tough time at university this term and both are struggling with their mental health. It's tough trying to support them. I am fearful of losing my job right as I'm trying to buy a new home. My friend's son has just qualified as an architect and is now unemployed and her other son a newly qualified doctor is horrified by the pressures in the hospital he is working in. He was very stressed during March, April and May when the London hospital he's in was overwhelmed with Covid cases.

It's tough for lots of people.

My best friend isn't able to see his terminally ill mum. We live in London and she doesn't. Christmas was meant to be the last time he saw her... I'd say, tbh, he has it worse.

Haven't seen my last surviving grandparent since April this year. She is desperate to see my kids but also petrified to leave the house and won't even let us come say hello at the end of the garden when it was allowed. Lucky you don't live in fear like so many do as they are petrified of contracting it and dieing. We lost my mother in law two days before DH was allowed to fly out to see her. He will probably never go to his home country again as due to the way things are there he isn't allowed to go.that was his last chance to see his mum again and he will never see her again.

Our kids have suffered with their education for most of the year. Our local park has never re opened as two parents decided to jump the fence. There is no other park for miles.

You can facetime your partner. You will see him again. It's not the end of the world for you but it is for many

Your feelings are valid but please don't say "to think we have it much worse" as your making comparisons. Yes you feel you have been handed a rough deal but there are much much worse things than a few months apart.

-Military families do it regularly not knowing if their loved one will return
-People have died. Children have lost parents including 2 under 16 whose mum was a nurse at the local hospital. Guess what she died from covid.

• People are facing homelessness and financial ruin not knowing how they will eat at Xmas
• People have been shielding since March too afraid to even set foot out their door now and mental health is spiraling downhill rapidly for many

Yes it is s#!t but it is for millions across the globe. By all means be upset and angry as you have every right to be but don't compare as there is always someone so much worse off.

You've been together two and a half years, he's everything to you yet you don't share a home? That seems unusual unless there's more to the 'circumstances' than you're letting on!

A lot worse than what?

Losing your job? Nope
Losing both parents in the space of 7 months this year? Nope.

If the worst thing that has happened to you this year is you haven't had a shag for a few months I'd say you've got off lightly.

you saw him last

why cant you form a bubble with him

It's a few months. Yes, it's shit and I'm sorry that you're struggling, but you'll get through it. It really isn't the end of the world. Lots of people do long distance relationships for extended periods in any case. If the relationship is strong, it will survive.

So do you both live with other people in different parts of the country then? Living in a tier 4 area is not a reason in itself why you cannot move in with someone , you would just become a different household , but once you did that would be your household and any previous bubbles wouldn't apply.

For you own sake you need to look at the people who have died, the elderly who will be completely alone, the people who have lost their jobs and potentially their homes through this and realise you do not, in any way, "have it a lot worse" because you can't see your boyfriend. Your posts are very teen angsty and I think as an adult you need to take a step back and regroup.

maybe looking at it as a competition isnt the right way? I have been waiting for what was supposed to be an emergency gastroscopy since August to have a weird finding in my esophagus checked, 7mm in size high probability of being cancer. Its going to take a few more months before theyre able to have me in to check it.

For the first time ever Unicef are having to help british families.

people are losing their jobs at the fastest rate ive ever known.

food bank useage is up by i believe its 40% on last year.

we have a MH crisis on our horizon.

the whole country is fucked, I honestly think that maybe you need to take a look at the world around you right now, because even all of the problems above, we are all still incredibly lucky to have not been one of thousands of covid deaths this year.

how about we look and try to see what we do have eh?

you have a job that must be stable if you still have it, and so does your partner, you both have warm homes, an ability to feed yourselves, and as much as its hard to not be together, how lovely is it that there is someone in this world who you yearn to be with, who yearns to be with you? Eventually it will happen.
Send eachother love notes, and keep in contact with eachother, its easier now than ever.

This sounds like a strange situation - are you or he particularly vulnerable? If I was in your position I would have a formed a bubble with him and seen him whenever I could despite what the government decreed - as long as you are not being reckless with anyone else's health, then you need to make your own judgments and not blindly follow the rules.

Surely if you were both serious about the relationship after two and a half years you would have moved in together.

There are people who won’t see their relatives again because of this virus, people facing ill health hoping the nhs can continue treating them etc. Not seeing a boyfriend for a while simply doesn’t compare.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Surely if you were both serious about the relationship after two and a half years you would have moved in together.

There are people who won’t see their relatives again because of this virus, people facing ill health hoping the nhs can continue treating them etc. Not seeing a boyfriend for a while simply doesn’t compare.

So stupid. Not every relationship is the same. Get your head out of your arse.

Meh.
I can’t get overly worked up for you because plenty of people don’t see their partners for long periods.
Army wives for instance.

I assume your partner is not in active service anywhere?

Therefore no, you don’t have it a lot worse.

I do feel for you though, I feel for everyone regardless of their situation.

I don't have huge amounts of sympathy OP, but then dh used to be a submariner, so not seeing each other much was how we spent the first 4 years of our marriage. My db spent one Christmas in Afghanistan; Mum came to us that year and was in floods when she saw him on the TV broadcast that they did from Camp Bastion, so she knew he was OK.

Yes, it sucks, but others have it so much worse.

OP has lost a sense of perspective. Apart from more deaths than from Hitler's bombs, in this country there are places that have had support from UNICEF to ensure no-one goes hungry.

I really thought this thread would be deleted. Not surprised OP hasn't been back in a while.