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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we have it a lot worse?

200 replies

NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:26

Not being able to see my DP who I have been with for 2 and a half years because of coronavirus? He is everything to me but we live apart and cannot be together. Most likely won't even see each other until Easter if we are lucky.
Yes we have kept our jobs and nobody has died/we have not had the virus but aibu to say this is unbelievably tough on us and to not know how we will get through it?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 19/12/2020 22:44

A little lacking in perspective there.

borntohula · 19/12/2020 22:45

If you lot think people aren't seeing their boyfriends/girlfriends during lockdowns, you're deluded! I include you in that, OP.

Also, there are many reasons for couples not living together, why do people on this site like to play dumb so much?

Original poster
NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:45

Worse than other couples who are complaining about all the restrictions. I didn't mean in a general sense. I am sorry. I am very upset.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2020 22:47

You have it worse than whom?

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:47

I'm shocked at this thread and the self pity - personally I find it horrendous that you think you have it worse than people who have lost their lives (or their loved ones), or jobs and cannot feed their children. What is wrong with you that you cannot see that? Wow.

2bazookas · 19/12/2020 22:48

He isn't "everything to you"' when you both clearly have other priorities , reasons you choose not to live together.

Blackdog19 · 19/12/2020 22:48

I’m sorry OP Flowers
I’m sorry for everybody who is in a tough situation.
Take care, and I hope things are better sooner than you think.

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:49

Upset why? Because you can't hug your boyfriend for a while but you still have support on the phone? Can you not see the bigger global impact on this and the people who are genuinely suffering? Have grieved alone? Are concerned about feeding their kids? People stuck in care homes with dementia who don't understand why no one is visiting? Jesus...

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2020 22:49

Cross post.

But what other couples? You aren't the only other couple apart. It isn't their fair of your relationship can't stand time apart. Of course it's sad, but not all relationships can withstand every pressure
That isn't anyone elses fault and it doesn't mean that your life is worse than there's.

Why won't you see each other til Easter? They're unlikely to hold the no travel ban for the SE that long

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/12/2020 22:49

I don’t understand why you can’t live with each other. If you aren’t able to live together because of work it sounds like a long distance relationship regardless of COVID, with you not seeing much of each other.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/12/2020 22:50

@2bazookas

He isn't "everything to you"' when you both clearly have other priorities , reasons you choose not to live together.
This is what I mean.
Nottherealslimshady · 19/12/2020 22:50

You haven't seen your boyfriend for a month and think you have it worse... than who? Those who've died? Those who've lost their entire income? Those who've lost loads of their loved ones? Those who are old, confused and alone? Who on earth do you have it worse than?

Yeah it's a bit rubbish but, no, there are actually few people you do have it worse than.

Gazelda · 19/12/2020 22:50

I don't think this thread is a good idea OP.

While I sympathise, there are thousands of people across the country who could quite legitimately claim to be in a worse situation to you, and would probably see your post as a hugely insensitive insult.

I suggest you ask MN to delete this thread, as it could cause offence.

Original poster
NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:51

Just because we don't live together doesn't mean he isn't everything to me. Circumstances just mean we can't live together at this time but that doesn't change the fact that our relationship matters.
I should have worded it better. Obviously there is a lot of pain going on in the world but it does annoy me how other people particularly couples are complaining when at least they can actually be together physically.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/12/2020 22:51

@NorthEast322

We did during the first lockdown but I had to move back home for work. We have been apart since November and most likely won't see each other until Easter if we are lucky. I just can't see how we will do it.
It's only the middle of December now!
Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:52

You're massively over dramatising this situation without appreciating the situations others are finding themselves in. Compassion and empathy are worth more than any selfish desires.

Original poster
NorthEast322 · 19/12/2020 22:52

I do think the travel ban and not being able to go into each others homes will last until Easter if not longer.

OP posts:
Ylfa · 19/12/2020 22:53

🙈 do you realise that before the pandemic separation from loved ones has been the reality for millions of people fleeing war, migrating for other reasons or in the diaspora etc?

Grobagsforever · 19/12/2020 22:53

Why can't you see each other though? Single person support bubbles are legal in all tiers.

Just see each other. No ones tomorrow is guaranteed.

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:53

So move in together?

Royalbloo · 19/12/2020 22:54

Bravo Ylfa if I had a hat on I'd take it off for you x

HazeyJaneII · 19/12/2020 22:54

I'm sorry you are finding it hard.
Lots and lots of people are finding it hard for all sorts of reasons.

majesticallyawkward · 19/12/2020 22:55

If your relationship is that important you'll be fine. If it was that essential you see each other you'd live together surely,
Why can't you form a support bubble? Or just meet discretely

thecatsthecats · 19/12/2020 22:55

He's not married is he?

You're being OTT. There's no evidence whatsoever to the idea we'll be locked down til Easter.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/12/2020 22:55

@NorthEast322

We did during the first lockdown but I had to move back home for work. We have been apart since November and most likely won't see each other until Easter if we are lucky. I just can't see how we will do it.
November was just a few weeks ago. I think you might want to get a grip.