No longer a size 6

[Bogfrog]

I met my husband when we were 22. I was a v slim size 6.
We are now late thirties and have 2 kids. I weigh more, have more bumps and I’m
a size 8-10. I exercise approx 5 times a week and don’t eat too many puddings but certainly enjoy my food and wine.
He is now instigating sex less and my confidence is shot after he said there’s a sliding scale of who he finds attractive with a size 6 being the pinnacle.
I am hurt and horrified. He says he still fancies me but I still feel really upset.
AIBU to reconsider the future of our otherwise happy marriage?

I do hope he has the perfect bod 🙄

8-10 sounds perfect to me ♥️

I assume he looks the same as he did ten years ago? No receeding hairline, or middle age spread, or a few wrinkles here and there? Twat.

@Bogfrog

I met my husband when we were 22. I was a v slim size 6. We are now late thirties and have 2 kids. I weigh more, have more bumps and I’m a size 8-10. I exercise approx 5 times a week and don’t eat too many puddings but certainly enjoy my food and wine. He is now instigating sex less and my confidence is shot after he said there’s a sliding scale of who he finds attractive with a size 6 being the pinnacle. I am hurt and horrified. He says he still fancies me but I still feel really upset. AIBU to reconsider the future of our otherwise happy marriage?

Most size 6 women are pretty androgynous. No boobs or bottoms

Is he gay?

That’s controlling, is he like this in other aspects of the relationship?

He sounds like an arse

Id tell him to do one. Sounds like a right shallow, thoughtless twat

I hope you told him "there's a sliding scale of who I find attractive with Chris Hemsworth being the pinnacle".

In all seriousness though, that's a shitty thing to say. He must have known that would make you feel a bit rubbish.

Unless of course he's just being stupid and thinks you are a size 6 and is trying to compliment you? Clutching at straws here.

I would say I have a sliding scale of men attractive. Supportive partner 10, a partner who says shit like your DH, -10.

It's common for sex to reduce when you have two kids, he still fancies you, you are still gorgeous, I would just read it as his 'type' tends to be your size or below, but then most married women wouldn't say their 'type' includes the beer gut or receding hairline their husbands have... He was stupid to say it and if he undermines your confidence in other ways then I take it back, but I think yabu.

He actually is in great shape - combination of genes, exercise and not a big drinker.
No he isn’t controlling. He is in all other respects a very good husband.
He just likes his women v v slim.
I feel v sad that my husband who does love me, doesn’t find me really hot.
I could lose weight but I don’t want to have a restructive diet.
When we met I used to have a cigarette for breakfast! I now eat 3 meals a day and smoke much much less.

@WillSantaBeComingToTown that’s kind of rude! Do you make such sweeping generalisations about other size women?

How ridiculous.

I was a size 6-8 when dh and I were first together, we met when we were 20. I'm 37 now, overweight, depressed, comfort eat, size 12 and expanding.

Dh still tells me and shows me that he still fancies me.

he said there’s a sliding scale of who he finds attractive with a size 6 being the pinnacle.

That's such a weird thing to say.

Did you ask him if he was including you in that?

“Who” he finds attractive should be you... not a generic size 6 body. I’m sure he doesn’t look exactly the same as when you met.

It’s not good that he’s undermining your confidence... and then trying to make you feel grateful that he still fancies you even though you’re now no longer “ideal”

What the fuck. Obviously I don't know your build but many adult women would look a bit shrunken at a 6, does he want you to starve?!

Most size 6 women are pretty androgynous. No boobs or bottoms

Surely this depends a lot on whether OP is talking about US or UK/Aus sizing. A US 6 is a UK/Aus 10, so hardly androgenous.

He sounds like a pig. I used to be a size 6 when I met DP, I'm now a size 10 (occasionally an 8) and happy with how I look. He has never and would never comment on my weight negatively, although did admit when I asked his opinion that he prefers how I am now with more shape. Size 6 is very thin. I agree with @WillSantaBeComingToTown

Does he look exactly how he did 10 years ago? Same body shape, same hairline, no lines at all?

Whatever. Tell him to get to fuck.

He should have more respect for your body no matter what size, it’s given him two children! Honestly what a twat I would be pissed off

Also I looked like an ironing board being a size 6, he's weird.

Get him to fuck!
Ignorant, rude shite that he is!

I am very short so a size 6 defo wasn’t emaciated or anything.
He knows my current size.
I just feel v rubbish. He wouldn’t want me to feel rubbish. He is v honest and black and white in how he talks (we have 2 ASD kids....)

@WillSantaBeComingToTown Most size 6 women are pretty androgynous. No boobs or bottoms

Is he gay?

What a horrible, bitchy thing to say.

I think its normal to find your partner less attractive as you both get older and have children. I dont particularly worry if my husband thinks I'm the sexiest woman alive, he's with me for who I am. I dont expect to find him sexy when he's 90.

He likes a size 6 it must be to make him and his dick feel bigger if he needs a tiny framed women to feel like a man.
I'm very slim 7.5 stone with a bum I can't get into most size 6 not that I'd try squeezing in.
I hope his 6 pack is very defined.