No longer a size 6

[Bogfrog]

I met my husband when we were 22. I was a v slim size 6.
We are now late thirties and have 2 kids. I weigh more, have more bumps and I’m
a size 8-10. I exercise approx 5 times a week and don’t eat too many puddings but certainly enjoy my food and wine.
He is now instigating sex less and my confidence is shot after he said there’s a sliding scale of who he finds attractive with a size 6 being the pinnacle.
I am hurt and horrified. He says he still fancies me but I still feel really upset.
AIBU to reconsider the future of our otherwise happy marriage?

His comment was so rude. I can see how it's extra disappointing for OP because most men can only dream of having a size 8-10 partner and would be ecstatic to have one. OP is this size but isn't appreciated for it.

I don't think it really matters whether our partners find us that attractive, so long as they keep it to themselves. What's so great about attractiveness? My DH and I aren't the sexist people alive, nor are we the smartest, the kindest, the funniest, etc. We are, average, which by definition most of us are.

You mention you have 2 children with ASD, does he also have some autistic traits?

Because that's a really uncaring thing to say, like he hasn't considered your feelings at all.

He just likes his women v v slim. You’re not his women,you’re the mother of his baby,his confidant
Your body has changed you’ve not. He needs to value you,respect you, make you feel great

Hi op, you sound lovely. I also am wondering if your ds has asd as that would explain his bluntness. Please remember your figure is pretty perfect. I’d love to still be an 8/10, but am currently size 14

A sliding scale of WHO he finds attractive?

Did he actually use your word who?

Can we not make shitty comments on different body types and sizes?! “Well my DH doesn’t find stick insects attractive” etc etc. Jesus. There is no need to be snide about those who are the opposite to whatever your OH finds attractive. Stop knocking people down.

Your DH was/is being unreasonable OP.

Dress size alone means sod all. It's all about your frame and height. If you're petite you will often naturally look good at a 6 or even a 4. If you are tall and bigger boned you won't: I have a friend who, at 5'11", was obsessed with getting down to a size 6. She looked awful. There's no need to skinny shame or get fixated on a number especially since companies aren't consistent about it.

Since curves tend to be more proportional to size, it is more likely for a petite, slim woman to have smaller breasts. However cup size only measures projection. I have a friend who is petite, slim, and wears a 30F. The cup volume is the same as a 34D, but on a smaller frame. It can be tricky to fit this type of figure as clothing is cut to assume a particular bust size as well as underbust measurement.

What matters here is the relative change in size. 6 to 8-10 is really not much and what's more, even if you lost weight you might still be an 8 because having children can permanently change your shape. He is being very unreasonable and I don't think this sort of attraction is simply his "type"--noticing such small differences sounds like something he has been socialised into.

Could be its a cover for some issues he's having in sexual dept & rather than face it is blaming it on lack of attraction which also reduces you instigating sex.

Your a beautiful lady & he's bloody lucky to have you!