No longer a size 6

[Bogfrog]

I met my husband when we were 22. I was a v slim size 6.
We are now late thirties and have 2 kids. I weigh more, have more bumps and I’m
a size 8-10. I exercise approx 5 times a week and don’t eat too many puddings but certainly enjoy my food and wine.
He is now instigating sex less and my confidence is shot after he said there’s a sliding scale of who he finds attractive with a size 6 being the pinnacle.
I am hurt and horrified. He says he still fancies me but I still feel really upset.
AIBU to reconsider the future of our otherwise happy marriage?

My daughter is a size 6, (in fact she often wears children's clothes) and no she is not androgynous nor shaped like an ironing board. She has breasts, hips and a waistline, just on a smaller scale than most women.

Most size 6 women are pretty androgynous. No boobs or bottoms.

Speak for yourself - I'm an F cup. And I have a decent arse.

@minipie

Honestly can everyone shut up with the “size 6 = child, boy, androgynous, men don’t like that, he must be gay” comments.

First it’s just wrong. I’ve been size 6 most of my adult life (not now) and have always had boobs, thighs and arse. I’m just short and really small boned so can be a 6 even with a little padding. Second it’s rude. Even if someone is an androgynous or boyish shape it’s not ok to belittle that and suggest men don’t like that.

This is unusual though. For most women a size 6 does not look like that and if the op is an 8-10 when she exercises that much and eats reasonably healthily then he likes someone that looks quite teenagery/potentially anorexic. Also how can 8-10 be unattractive it's just slightly wider and curved bum and boobs. That rarely means stomach fat.

@UntamedWisteria

ODFOD OP.

Why so rude to the OP?

One of my legs was a size 6 when I was at school.

Pathetic.

No it's not ok for him to say this and make you feel bad. You must know that 8-10 is still very slim.

Size 6 is generally more common among teenagers and very young women. Does your husband have a problem with your age as well as your body, OP?

Well I've gone from a 12 up to a 22 and have settled back down at an 18 and my DP of 25 years and 2 kids has always fancied me.
Because I'm me. I can't understand how one dress size after all these years can make such a difference to him. I'm sorry he is so unkind.

WillSantaBeComingToTown is rude.
I was size 6 with 32D boobs. Pre kids.
I am now size 10 with 34A boobs and feel much more androgynous.

The problem is that staying that weight as you get older becomes harder. Your metabolism slows and frankly, you start giving less of a shit to starve yourself in order to look the same as when you didn't have to try so hard in your earlier days. You and your attitude to life become more stubborn to the scales and quite rightly so.

I think most blokes are OK with that and don't mind the extra body to grab at all. But yours has said what we all dread to hear. I'm really sorry - not nice to be told that. No real advice other than he's being unrealistic to assume that's an attainable size throughout your life and you really mustn't suffer to try and achieve it. You and your body deserve meals, nourishment and love in spite of being heavier than you were when you met him.

I don’t think there’s any need to tell me to FO. Just don’t read the thread.

Agree minipie

These threads always turn into nasty comments about slender women rather than constructive advice to the OP.

Thing is those posters know that threads like these in active will end up with plenty of women who are/ were slender posting and they enjoy being. Well. Horrible.

I would imagine that the women posting on the thread who are/ were that size (and yes. In which shop. In which year??) Did not struggle because they only attracted gay men/ paedophiles . I mean wtf. So. Don't let it bother you

@Bogfrog

I brought weight into it because I suspected that was the reason - he comments on people’s weight a lot and made no secret of his utter adoration for my flat stomach pre kids.

He's got some weird issue going on, I'd wager its insecurity on his part

I know you pushed the issue but no husband who loves his wife should have admitted that, even if that was the case. I agree with a previous poster who said no decent husband would say that to his wife.

I also think that if something as shallow as you being a little bit larger (or even a lot larger) as you grow older and have a family brothers him he is a wanker. You are not a sex toy for christ sake.

I'm so sorry he said that to you.

All the “size 6 women are sOoOo unsexy” comments are vile. It’s not even the crux of OP’s problem.

Why is thin-shaming okay but not fat-shaming? An hourglass or pear shape figure is on trend, there’s no point having a big bum and big breasts if you don’t have a small waist or flat stomach. Society deems you equally as unsexy🤷🏼‍♀️ You can be a size 6 and have an hourglass figure too btw

Crikey, my husband commenting on my size would cause a bigger rift in our sex life than what that size actually was.

There's not much difference between a size 6 and a size 8-10. In fact you could be all those sizes just by going to different shops. It sounds as though you gave him the weight 'excuse' and he jumped on it. I'd initiate another conversation saying you know he can't possibly be that shallow so what is the real issue with intimacy. Then suggest relationship counselling if he refuses to discuss it further.

yes im sure all the naturally size 6 people feel super oppressed and self conscious because a few people are offering the wrong sort of support to someone who has been made to feel awful by her husband. Give over. This isnt about you

Size 6 is very slim. And like someone says mostly no boobs or bum

It's not very slim though, with vanity sizing it's a size 8 (in old money) which is a fine size.

I can assure you the size 6 view is rubbish, you may see models like that because that's the "look" the advertisers want, but on the street most size 6 have a proportioned bum and bust,

Sorry OP for your DH being horrid, but the comments on this thread are disgusting. Women who are a size 6 are androgenous, or child like or stick insects?! ? FFS what is wrong with those pp, why so bitchy? The best way to build women up is not by tearing other women down.

I'm a size 6 and have a bust and hips and certainly do not look like a child or a man and have never been hit on by gay men

If equivalent comments were made about overweight people they would quite rightly be shot down.

Well a ciggie for Breakfast certainly isnt healthy! Size 8 to 10 is very slim anyway .Some men are really idiotic ,surely after 2 children your shape would change somewhat? He is being a twat as so many men seem to be sadly.

Slender women have been told they will attract paedophiles. Look like children. Look like men.

It's not ok.

‘He likes hiswomen??? You grew and birthed his children. I’m sorry you are not ‘his’. If he hadnt of said anything would you be happy with your current shape? If so tell him to do one

@tillyandmilly

Size 6 ? That’s a child size? Most men want a bit of shape on them?

No, size 6 is a small adult woman's size. A child's size is age 3-4 or age 7-8, or age 11-12, etc. The proportions are different.