Is it reasonable to expect a Christmas dinner?

[BuckleBuckaroo]

Is it reasonable to invite yourself over for christmas, not telling the person what day you intend to visit until a week before the day (will be the 23rd) and then expect more than a cup of tea, mincepies, biscuits, crisps and dip - basically expecting a christmas roast dinner (most likely 3 course). And feel put out and say you are been made to feel unwelcome if you dont get it?

No it isn't reasonable. It's cheeky fuckery.

I wouldn't do a Christmas dinner on the 23rd if I as doing one again on Christmas day. How long will they be there for, if it is all day then I would do a light lunch.

Cheeky to expect a xmas dinner.

They have not said how long they intend to stay. Just they will arrive at lunchtime

In what way are they expecting it? I mean, people can expect all they want, but it doesn’t mean they get it.

It’s not reasonable to invite yourself to anything. Surely this year you can say no?

I would suggest to that person, if they don’t feel welcome they are free to leave, or indeed, not come at all.

Just get them one of those microwave roasts..."there you go!"

No, it's most unreasonable.. and while it's allowed in the Christmas rules relaxation period, it's not great to have someone visit you indoors for infection prevention. Can you get them to meet you somewhere outdoors? They won't like that either but it stops any question of a roast dinner.

At this point I feel like it's not wildly unreasonable to throw an extra bit of veg in and slice them off a bit of turkey, but they are very unreasonable not giving clear dates.

We said tea, mince pies and biscuits will be served. And they said surely its going to be a roast dinner and now giving us the silent treatment.

Oh sorry I misunderstood - I thought they were visiting from 23rd. In that case YANBU at all!

Well they sound fun. I would expect a roast before Christmas Day.

@yelyah22

At this point I feel like it's not wildly unreasonable to throw an extra bit of veg in and slice them off a bit of turkey, but they are very unreasonable not giving clear dates.

But if they're coming on the 23rd, it won't, presumably, be the day when OP is cooking her Christmas dinner anyway. They're expecting another one two days early.

I would NOT expect a roast before Christmas Day...

If they’re just coming for the day on the 23rd, I’m not sure why they would expect Xmas dinner.
I’m assuming they’re not staying for several days?

It does seem a bit odd for them to enquire in advance what you’ll be serving... unless you volunteered the information?

If they're arriving at lunch time then just do something easy like sandwiches or wraps. If they say anything about Christmas Dinner just say you're doing that on Christmas day. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Er no. Christmas Day yes. Boxing Day at a push but we are having a three fish pie with leftover veg.

Of course not.

Unless they're part of your 2/3 household bubble and you theirs they can't come anyway?

Who is this? No one has roast dinner on 23 Dec. Give them a light lunch that fits in with your plans. Soup, salad or sandwiches. Just say you’re having roast on 25 and won’t want it twice.

If you wanted to be seen to do something but not a roast, I would do a small cheese board, some continental meats, olives and pate with some nice bread.

They are CF's by the way.

It's Mil and Fil. They are both in a high risk group. They are not visiting Sil and Bil. But since dh works from home they are inviting themselves here. Because I am a sahm (they don't approve of this) I think they have the attitude why can't she cook what we want.

Just tell them that the only day you're cooking Xmas dinner is on Xmas day.

Not that hard to understand, surely!

That’s just ridiculous. No one has a roast on the 23rd! What are they talking about?

Who are they to you?

X post but still ridiculous