DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

[Millano]

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

You really need to talk to your baby, a lot. Does your DH not see that? Does he talk to baby or is it your baby voice that he’s objecting too? Tell your DH to fuck off.

He tells you to shut up talking to your baby? Seriously?

What other shitty controlling arseholery does this man get up to?

It's called "motherese" and is essential for development.

You've got a serious "D"H problem.

Depends. He shouldn't be telling you to shut up. BUT I can imagine listening to babytalk must be very annoying. Especially when it is the same thing over and over again.

I am sure a happy medium can be reached .

Wasn't there some study that showed baby talk actually helps speech development?

Either way, your DH is a twat.

Oh OP, this is a really sad post. You're just interacting and bonding with your gorgeous baby and your horrible partner is pissing all over it.

We evolved to "baby talk" our children for a reason, it's important for their development and children who are often spoken to in that high-low singsongy voice often end up with larger vocabularies. But even if that wasn't the case, what's his problem? Is he always this miserable? Does he show any love towards your baby?

It's baby voice he's objecting to I think. But also the inane content I expect; 'bare butt time!' being example of it . I talk to DS all throughout the day, in a normal voice, in an excited voice, in a calm voice etc etc. But also in a weird baby voice cos it makes him laugh.

@smeerf

Oh OP, this is a really sad post. You're just interacting and bonding with your gorgeous baby and your horrible partner is pissing all over it.

We evolved to "baby talk" our children for a reason, it's important for their development and children who are often spoken to in that high-low singsongy voice often end up with larger vocabularies. But even if that wasn't the case, what's his problem? Is he always this miserable? Does he show any love towards your baby?

He does show love to DS, lots of love... but in a very different way to me. Each to their own I say. Wouldn't dream of berating him. I felt embarrassed and stupid and will probably think twice about the stupid baby voice when in proximity to DH again. Which is making me tearful and is a bloody shame actually.

@Chamomileteaplease

Depends. He shouldn't be telling you to shut up. BUT I can imagine listening to babytalk must be very annoying. Especially when it is the same thing over and over again.

I am sure a happy medium can be reached .

You make a good point. I could wind it in a bit probably. But DH works from home now so hears me talk to DS all the time. Can't avoid that.

Just as well he can't hear me talking to my cat then. Who,s a beautiful girl, who is ad nauseum lol.

Baby talk is a great way to develop you baby’s understanding of sounds and is a necessary part of learning to speak.

Then you have a DH problem, his attitude towards you and undermining you in front of your child.

I personally hate baby talk. I talked to my babies obviously, but not in baby talk. It’s not necessary.

Your DH is a dick.

I never did the baby talk, it makes me cringe too. Guess it's just a downside of him working from home, you're bound to both annoy each other.

What you are doing is perfect for your baby!

It’s called parentese and it’s well known that it helps children talk earlier and have better development skills. Tell him to read up on it and shut the hell up :) narrating your life and what you are doing with your baby is so normal

www.earlyliteracylearning.org/cellpract_parent/infants/PG_1_I_Talk2Me.pdf

How does he treat you outside of this issue? Are you often belittled, or told to hush and move aside? If he doeant like something or is irritated, is he always so nasty or does he know how to talk about things calmly like an adult?

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/helping-your-childs-speech/

www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-38002105

It’s supposed to be good to talk to babies in a ‘baby talk’ voice. It helps their understanding, and later, their speech.

Tell your dh that.

I used to baby-talk our dog, and once did it in a heavily wooded and (as I thought) deserted area of our local park. ‘Mummy love oo!’ etc. in high pitched baby-talk tones.
Except that it wasn’t deserted 😱 - for some reason two blokes were sitting up a tree close by and were wetting themselves laughing!

@ComDummings

Your DH is a dick.

This

What did he say when you told him that he upset you? Saying shut up is horrible.

this is horrible... does he do this often or was it just one time because he was having a bad day, in a bad mood and easily irritated? We all get grump sometimes. I remember I shouted at my dh to shut up for sneezing one time... I was just quite sleep deprived and grumpy at the time.
If this is a constant thing and he really wants you to stop talking to your baby as much then this is not okay at all. Its very important to constantly talk to babies and the baby voice is actually called 'motheresse' and is important to development.. Google it... its a sound that babies pay more attention to and the musical style of it helps them learn about the rhythm and tones of language.
Its a totally natural way to interact with a baby. Your dh is being a horrible ignorant twat.

He sounds rude and bad tempered.

Saying that, I remember the way my DM used to (lovingly) talk to my DS when he was a baby. She randomly adopted this twee sing-song English/Welsh....pensioner voice, which DS really liked, but it made me want to slap her. I hated it so much. But I gritted my teeth until she stopped, because she is my DM and she had no idea how fucking irritating it was. Your DH should do likewise.

I had actually forgotten The Voice, thank God!

Your H is a dick.

There is plenty of evidence that 'motherese', baby voice, singing and repetition are really important for children's language development. I would pull some together for your partner to read and ask him why he feels his annoyance is more important than his baby learning to speak?

My DP wears noise cancelling headphones as he is working at home with me, the baby and toddler all making noise. Perhaps that would give him more patience with hearing you being a good parent the rest of the time.

So you wouldn’t dream of berating him, but he tells you to Shut Up. Think you need to have a conversation with him, even if he does find it annoying, he is trying to concentrate on work or whatever, he shouldn’t be telling you to shut up. Children might tell each other to shut up, but adults shouldn’t tell each other, or a child in their care to shut up.