DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

[Millano]

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

What he said was so hurtful. Babies love 'baby' talk.

Wow he sounds like a charmer!

I don't care if she was reciting the Magna Carta in a sing son voice for fun. It's disrespectful to tell anyone to shut up let alone your own spouse. Will he tell the baby to shut up when he starts babbling? Awful man.

He could have been more tactful but saying 'it's bare butt time' does sound utterly cringeworthy... what's wrong with 'it's bath time'?

How does your DH talk to him when he does bathtime?

Our voices go to a higher pitch when talking to babies and animals..
I video'd a cat tonight, who was following me,{To show mum} and to my surprise, my voice was really high.

It's normal. Don't be discouraged.
Maybe he {Husband} wants a bit of ''Bare butt'' time??

You need to talk in that funny sing song way. Your baby probably provides lots of positive feedback because it’s what he needs. Your dh is being ridiculous.

@PlanetSlattern

I never spoke baby talk to my babies but I do with my dog (who won't "grow up" in the same way... so I suppose it's here to stay). I expect this reflects very badly on me as a mother.

If your DP apologises later ("Sorry I was a twat, I needed to get that report off by 4pm and the baby talk drives me up the wall") I think that's probably understandable and OK. If he habitually tells you to shut up, then I think you have a problem.

He has apologised, and I can tell he means it.

There is absolutely loads of scientific research proving that 'baby talk' is extremely good for children's development. There are reasons why all cultures and all languages do it naturally.

Your dh is being a knob.

Just one example www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-00305-z

Say to your husband: ''Whose a lovely man! Oooos a lovely , hard working lovely hubby wubby? You are! yes, you are! you are!!
''Would oos like to go to beddy weddy later on? ..Because oo work so hard, and Mummy wummy will bring oos a drinky winky''

He might like it!

Baby talk is important for development and your DH sounds like a twat.

All the people who say they didn't baby talk to their babies - are you sure? Because I'd have sworn the same but every video from his first year includes me using (an objectively very annoying) sing song voice. I didn't use baby words like 'doggy' or 'choo choo' whatever (it annoys me that nursery have taught him to say 'wee wee', what is the advantage of that over just saying wee?!) but the evidence is incontrovertible that I did use a 'baby voice' without even realising.

God I read stuff like this and I think I’m lucky to be a single mum. Reminds me of the huffing I used to get from DS’ father about baby led weaning (“it makes a mess on the floor”), singing nursery rhymes (“wow that’s jazzy” in a sneering tone) and DS doing the joyful baby scream (“oh that’s horribly loud”).

DS is now 4, and we’re still loud, in silly voices, and delight in daft language- eg being naked is either “nudey dutduts” (no idea what it means. Hangover of baby talk).

It’s done DS no harm. In the last week he’s used the words “diabolical” “hypothesis” and “ultimate” correctly in conversation (I’d take the credit but it’s actually from watching stuff like Spider-Man I think...)

Tell your hubs to sod off. Keep talking to your baby.

That's so sad. One of my favourite things in the world is listening to DH chat baby voice bollocks to our baby, sing him songs etc.

What needs to change here, initially, is that you need to drop this way of thinking:
I'm being pathetic right

That's not a healthy way to feel about yourself when your husband is regularly telling you to shut up.

You are responding in your natural way to your baby, who loves it. The thought of having to stop doing it makes you tearful.

It's perfectly natural to find baby talk irritating. But if your husband thinks that his irritation is to be prioritised over his baby's smiles and the bond you have with your baby, then his priorities indicate poor fatherhood. He might not be a poor father in other ways, but in this respect, he thinks his irritation is more important than the bond between his wife and child.

Can you see why people are saying he's a dick?

If you find a mother talking to a baby in a silly voice, in her own home and with the baby clearly enjoying it and laughing along ‘cringeworthy’ then that probably says more about you. And in your partner’s case, it’s his child who is enjoying it.

I love hearing DH chat away to our baby and hearing her make her excited noises back to her, he talks some utter nonsense to her but it just makes me smile.

I imagine every single statement he utters is at the level of Shakespeare or at least Radio 4, am I right? No? Well, he can keep his opinions to himself then.

@oakleaffy 😂😂

He has apologised, and I can tell he means it

Apologising for something and then repeating it over and over indicates that he's not in control of himself. He needs to sort this out. He's an adult. He's a parent. If he can't keep his trap shut when he knows he should, it doesn't bode well for his future parenting, or indeed, husbanding.

To be entirely honest I think babies develop good speech listening to words properly enunciated.

Thank you rather than ta. Are you happy this morning rather than is oo awight ickle bubba.

I'm 100% with your dh about this my children developed very clear speech and it was always remarked upon.

I cannot comprehend why any sentient being would teach babies and infants the wrong way which then has to be unlearnt and replaced with the right way.

Still recall ds, aged 3, answering the phone to the health authority's director of Public health. "Hello, x speaking, who is calling please and I'll tell mummy". I rang back and the woman was gobsmacked. Normal to me. I may venture that hip's don't have high enough standards.

It’s done DS no harm. In the last week he’s used the words “diabolical” “hypothesis” and “ultimate” correctly in conversation.
Wow, I hope you're going to get him assessed as soon as possible. It sounds like he should go straight into doing GCSEs.

Glad to hear he apologised OP. Make sure you pick him up on it straight away if he ever tries it again. Don't want him thinking he can get away with this nonsense.

I learned about the benefits of motherese back in the 1980s, surprised to hear that the message still hasn't got through more than 30 years later. I guess some people just get an idea so firmly fixed in their head that they find it hard to process anything new.

There are some brilliant smug mummy 'I spoke properly to my child and that's why they won debating competitions at 18 months' posts on this thread. Love a MN boast.

They actually did a study on this?

Yes. It’s important. Lots of people (including on this thread) will tell you they are too sophisticated for such nonsense. That is their problem. There is too little respect for instinctive parenting behaviour (especially that of the mother) but the more it is observed the more important it is recognised to be.