DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

[Millano]

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

‘Bare butt time’ is a weird thing to say to a baby every bath-time. ‘Butt’ is a crude word where I’m from, almost swearing. I can see why your DH finds it annoying.

Maybe change the content of what you say a bit? You can still use the silly baby voice and yes babies need it as it helps them learn language. But there’s no need to talk to the baby all day. Do you make time for adult conversations too?

I've got three children and have always made an effort to talk to them from birth but I've never used a 'baby' voice, I just talk to them in my normal voice. The two children I have who can talk have above average ability when it comes to speech so it hasn't held them back or anything. I just talk to them normally and use the proper words for things.

Could you do this? I imagine it's the voice that annoys him more than the content. That said, he shouldn't be telling you to shut up no matter what.

You know how sleep deprivation is a form of torture? I can easily believe that non-stop incessant baby talk piped into a cell would lead the toughest double agent to spill.

I understand talking to a baby is necessary, but it doesn't need to be incessant and inane. Why not reduce it a bit OP? You are sharing a space with your DH and if he is working and overhearing it, it probably gets incredibly irritating.

Babies learn to talk through parents baby talking to them. Sounds like your DH needs to get off his high horse to be honest. Sounds like a right bore! “ but also in a weird baby voice cos it makes him laugh” - it’s not weird, everyone does it, it’s a behaviour as old as time.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

He sounds rude and bad tempered.

Saying that, I remember the way my DM used to (lovingly) talk to my DS when he was a baby. She randomly adopted this twee sing-song English/Welsh....pensioner voice, which DS really liked, but it made me want to slap her. I hated it so much. But I gritted my teeth until she stopped, because she is my DM and she had no idea how fucking irritating it was. Your DH should do likewise.

I had actually forgotten The Voice, thank God!

This made me laugh, my MIL talks to the children in this weird pidgin English like when people go on holiday and are trying to make themselves understood. One of my children is at school and can talk normally but she still does it!

Plus. It makes your baby happy. Sorry but baby happiness trumps husband’s boring old misery guts.

What a nasty piece of work he is.

As a SALT I can assure you 'baby talk' is very helpful developmentally as is repetition. And that is why most parents naturally do it. Link him to the articles up page and then sod him!

Aww no, I hate this. What an arse. I hope he hasn't made you feel self-conscious. You chat away to your baby. Tell him he's a joy sponge.

@HikeForward

Can you give a rough idea of where you are from? I had no idea butt was considered rude!

To be honest I'm a parent and I can't stand baby talk if it's in a stupid baby voice....i used to cringe when family members did it to DD. I've never spoken to her like that but that's maybe why she was very articulate and sounded like a mini adult age 3

I never spoke baby talk to my babies but I do with my dog (who won't "grow up" in the same way... so I suppose it's here to stay). I expect this reflects very badly on me as a mother.

If your DP apologises later ("Sorry I was a twat, I needed to get that report off by 4pm and the baby talk drives me up the wall") I think that's probably understandable and OK. If he habitually tells you to shut up, then I think you have a problem.

A combination of baby talk and proper English is apparently very good. One parent doing each. You need to repetition of vowel sounds and exaggerated mouth movements for infants to begin learn how different vocal sounds are made and then proper syntax to be understood.

Love all the people insisting it’s not necessary because they didn’t talk to their baby like that - despite all the research proving it’s actually helpful.

I do the same thing OP. DD just had her bath and it was all ‘who has a nudey bum, I can see a nudey bum, look at this little nudey bum’ blah blah interspersed with ‘let’s turn the tap on, ooh that’s a bit hot still isn’t it, do you want your duck here’s the duck oh it’s a nice yellow duck’ blah blah all day long. I’m actually irritating myself thinking about it but DD likes it and DH never complains and even joins in. (He’s had 5 years of hearing me talk crap to my dog to prepare him in fairness).

I don’t think telling someone to shut up is particularly kind or respectful and I think that’s far more of a problem than baby talk to an actual baby.

Tell your DH to fuck off

Is all you need to know.

Babies that age laugh their heads off at funny voices and expressions. You're having a laugh with your baby. Slapping you down in that happy moment is heartless. Is your husband jealous that you have a closer bond with him?

He shouldn't be telling you to shut up BUT baby talk drives me absolutely nuts and I struggle to listen to it - like nails down a blackboard - so I'm wondering if he's just heard it one too many times and snapped?

When I'm nackered I've done that too, doesn't make it right but we all have our breaking points.

They actually did a study on this?

Talking to your baby seems fine, but what do you consider baby talk? I consider it to be a different voice than you would normally use at decibel levels that are abnormally high.

Like the stupid voice my DH uses for the cats. I never did it, it does annoy me, but to each their own.

Rolling his eyes might be acceptable telling you to shut up is not

my MIL talks to the children in this weird pidgin English

As painful as this doubtless is MisterMagpie, I'm guessing your MIL is at least English? My DM is from Dublin, so The Voice was baffling too!

maybe he's jealous. men often are. seeing all that attention now focussed on someone other than themselves.
can you print off or link to some brief articles on the value of talking to babies.
could you vary what you say, or perhaps make up songs.
butt does sound rather rude word to me too, a bit angry. certainly not a polite word. bottom is better. but ! maybe expand bath-time to water, bubbles, ducks, squish, wish wash.

Talking to your baby seems fine, but what do you consider baby talk? I consider it to be a different voice than you would normally use at decibel levels that are abnormally high.

It doesn’t need to be loud!

He shouldn't be telling you to shut up but talking in a baby voice makes me cringe. I never did it with my children and they turned out fine lol.

He told you to shut up? That would be me done. That's so disrespectful. And over you talking to your baby? He's a cunt. Take the baby and bye bye!

I think it does sound a bit annoying. Maybe try and use it less when he’s in earshot.

Well you were obviously being a bit annoying I hate baby talk and doggy talk is even worse drives me mad .