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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

259 replies

Millano · 16/12/2020 18:28

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

OP posts:
TonMoulin · 16/12/2020 20:07

I agree @Eckhart.

But I’m also wondering who has an issue with their baby laughing. Because in that particular case, that’s what I would have heard, not the baby talk iyswim.

RosesAndHellebores · 16/12/2020 20:07

Eckhart, I shall accept your praise with good grace.

OP I don't agree with you being told to shut up. My dh would have had a reasoned conservation with me but it would have irked him greatly.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 16/12/2020 20:07

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@eckhart absolutely. Possibly that's why my dc are both Oxbridge. I thank my hv for telling me it was her job to make sure I spoke to my DS enough for him to develop speech. So I read him the Iliad and the Odyssey and nurtured a live of classics. He took a first in Classics from Oxford in 2017. Currently doing a PhD.

High standards beget high standards and don't include "butts".[/quote]
10/10 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Eckhart · 16/12/2020 20:10

@RosesAndHellebores

Eckhart, I shall accept your praise with good grace.

OP I don't agree with you being told to shut up. My dh would have had a reasoned conservation with me but it would have irked him greatly.

You keep getting funnier!
TonMoulin · 16/12/2020 20:11

@GabsAlot, I have a very dear friend that did something like this.
Her dd had read (or was read) books that I haven’t read as an adult (classics)

Too soon to tell how far that child/teen will go but she certainly has a level in literature and literacy way above her peers.

PeppermintPasty · 16/12/2020 20:12

I cannot fathom people on this thread saying that baby voices etc make them cringe. That you are not 100% supportive of the OP, who is being told to shut up by her supposedly DH, speaks volumes, and in a harsh adult voice too, about how little you understand what’s going on here.

The husband is trash. The OP is doing the most natural thing in the world. I am so over people saying “oh he has a point, baby voices are soooo cringey”. Are you mad? Do some research into infant development.

Then do some research into wanky men seeking to pull the rug from under their partners. Fuck sake.

I’m in a bad mood tonight, but I would seriously tell him to fuck right off the next time he does it, in your best baby voice, naturally.

Daphnise · 16/12/2020 20:12

You do sound very annoying, and whilst you might well need to shut up, it is discourteous of him to actually say those words.

So you are both being unreasonable.

And too much baby talk is brainless. I bet the baby's fed up with it. You could try talking sense in a normal affectionate voice, and keep everyone's sanity.

TonMoulin · 16/12/2020 20:13

@RosesAndHellebores, I’m afraid your DH would be in the wrong if he was getting irked by his child laughing and mother and baby bonding

Preparedtobetoldimwrong · 16/12/2020 20:14

The issue is less the fact of the baby talk and more the fact that he told you to shut up. It obviously upset you enough for you to come here and seek advice. It is such a horrid phrase as it comes across as a command, rather than a request (please stop talking like that or similar). Does he often tell you what to do or was this a one off?

TonMoulin · 16/12/2020 20:14

@Daphnise

You do sound very annoying, and whilst you might well need to shut up, it is discourteous of him to actually say those words.

So you are both being unreasonable.

And too much baby talk is brainless. I bet the baby's fed up with it. You could try talking sense in a normal affectionate voice, and keep everyone's sanity.

Except babies need baby voices for their development......
ElfAndSafetyInspector · 16/12/2020 20:14

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@eckhart absolutely. Possibly that's why my dc are both Oxbridge. I thank my hv for telling me it was her job to make sure I spoke to my DS enough for him to develop speech. So I read him the Iliad and the Odyssey and nurtured a live of classics. He took a first in Classics from Oxford in 2017. Currently doing a PhD.

High standards beget high standards and don't include "butts".[/quote]
Oh bloody hell, my HV forgot to tell me this so I've never spoken to my DD at all. Do you think at 6 it's too late for me to start? She may never read the Iliad in the original but I think we could probably manage a few of Juvenal's Satires.

Eckhart · 16/12/2020 20:15

@Daphnise

You do sound very annoying, and whilst you might well need to shut up, it is discourteous of him to actually say those words.

So you are both being unreasonable.

And too much baby talk is brainless. I bet the baby's fed up with it. You could try talking sense in a normal affectionate voice, and keep everyone's sanity.

OP has said that it makes her baby laugh. As opposed to being brainless, it aids language acquisition and bonding.

You are telling OP that she needs to shut up whilst saying that her husband is discourteous to tell her to shut up.

You might need to shut up. Is it discourteous to tell you so?

TonMoulin · 16/12/2020 20:16

And the dh doesn’t hear it all day long. Work etc...

I’m not sure where you got the idea the OP is doing it too much when she says it’s not and talks to him in many different ways throughout the day....

Original poster
Millano · 16/12/2020 20:17

Eckhart you sound brilliant! Smile

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 16/12/2020 20:17

You’re not being pathetic. You’re being loving and gentle with your baby.

Your DH sounds horrible- what lesson does it teach your DS about how men speak to women when he talks to you like that?

My DH would never tell me to shut up. That’s really horrible, and I’d say bordering on verbal abuse.

He needs to be told - in no uncertain terms - that it is not acceptable to talk to you like that.

Original poster
Millano · 16/12/2020 20:17

@Daphnise

You do sound very annoying, and whilst you might well need to shut up, it is discourteous of him to actually say those words.

So you are both being unreasonable.

And too much baby talk is brainless. I bet the baby's fed up with it. You could try talking sense in a normal affectionate voice, and keep everyone's sanity.

This message made me shiver. Wonder what sort of person you are.
OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 16/12/2020 20:19

Buy him some noise cancelling headphones.

Butt’s a bit of a weird thing to say to a baby.

It’s ok to find one another irritating from time to time.

Eckhart · 16/12/2020 20:19

@Millano

Eckhart you sound brilliant! Smile
Thank you. There are some corking posts on your thread! I hope it's making you feel better.

What are you going to say to your husband when he next tells you to shut up? I hope whatever it is means you can keep talking to your son however you feel like doing.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 16/12/2020 20:19

I've never spoken to her like that but that's maybe why she was very articulate and sounded like a mini adult age 3

I talked repetitive nonsense all day long to my child in a proper baby voice and she is also very articulate at 3. So perhaps it's the other members of your family who deserve the credit for your child's advanced language skills

LittleBearPad · 16/12/2020 20:20

This message made me shiver. Wonder what sort of person you are.

You are being very dramatic OP.

Original poster
Millano · 16/12/2020 20:20

@VestaTilley

You’re not being pathetic. You’re being loving and gentle with your baby.

Your DH sounds horrible- what lesson does it teach your DS about how men speak to women when he talks to you like that?

My DH would never tell me to shut up. That’s really horrible, and I’d say bordering on verbal abuse.

He needs to be told - in no uncertain terms - that it is not acceptable to talk to you like that.

Thank you. Gentle and loving is my intention and my DS's reaction is so lovely to see.
OP posts:
Cecily42 · 16/12/2020 20:20

You DH would hate me as I regularly baby talk to my teen boysGrin

FestiveFruitloop · 16/12/2020 20:20

Bloody hell, what is with MN tonight? Some real weapons-grade bitching going on, on numerous threads.

OP, he's being an arse and very disrespectful to you. The same could be said for certain posters on here. Ignore them and your DH, and carry on communicating with your baby in the way that feels right to you.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 16/12/2020 20:20

And too much baby talk is brainless. I bet the baby's fed up with it. You could try talking sense in a normal affectionate voice, and keep everyone's sanity

There are some absolute corkers on this thread

HikeForward · 16/12/2020 20:21

Yes butt is like saying ‘arse’ or ‘cock’ here (South). Maybe it’s regional.

Sing song voice and engaging with baby, that’s fine but you don’t need to use silly inane phrases/words or rude ones or a loud shrill voice (especially if your DH is trying to wfh or relax.)

If you’re talking to the dogs like that too he must be fed up!

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