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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

259 replies

Millano · 16/12/2020 18:28

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

OP posts:
JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 16/12/2020 20:22

Yes butt is like saying ‘arse’ or ‘cock’ here (South).

South England? No, it is not.

GrinchnotHinch · 16/12/2020 20:24

I think the biggest issue is the way he’s worded it, “shut up” is a really aggressive and distasteful way to speak to someone you love.

If me or DP told the other to “shut up” even if we actually were annoying the other, we’d be very hurt by the intent.

Eckhart · 16/12/2020 20:26

Yes butt is like saying ‘arse’ or ‘cock’ here (South). Maybe it’s regional

South where? I've family in north and south england and wouldn't dream of saying 'arse' or 'cock' with them but would say 'butt'. It's the American version of 'bum'. No idea why OP is using the American slang for something but that's not our business. 'Butt' isn't offensive.

coconuttyhead · 16/12/2020 20:27

Your DS is 5 months old, giggling away and having a lovely time - it’s such a precious time and something to be shared and cherished by you and your husband. It’s horrible to think that instead, a husband could be irritated by how you’re communicating with your/his baby.
My DS is 11 years old now and those kind of memories make me want to cry so a bit bias!

Preparedtobetoldimwrong · 16/12/2020 20:28

I live near a road called The Butts. I’ve never thought it was rude (I think it’s got something to do with riffles??)

AnaisNun · 16/12/2020 20:30

@Diverseduvet

No I don’t think so. He’s a very average child with an exceptional vocabulary. Also can’t count to 10, and refuses to engage with phonics so.... Hmm

unicornparty · 16/12/2020 20:32

Butt is an awful word and I'd never say it near a child - I'm in the south.

Op you're being pretty horrid to posters that don't agree with you. I don't get why you'd talk in a baby voice with made up words then re teach your child the proper words to things. That's my opinion that I'm entitled to but you're answering posters that disagree with you in a horrible manner.

parlourpalm · 16/12/2020 20:32

@Fastnfurriest

He told you to shut up? That would be me done. That's so disrespectful. And over you talking to your baby? He's a cunt. Take the baby and bye bye!
Slight over-reaction for most normal people
livefornaps · 16/12/2020 20:33

Tell your partner that he can shut up, too.
By shutting his dick in a door

AnaisNun · 16/12/2020 20:34

@unicornparty et al horrified by “butt”...

How do you all feel about “booty”, as my DS has been known to refer to his bum?

Because IMO THATS pretty vulgar, but AFAIK the sky hasn’t fallen in...

LadyofMisrule · 16/12/2020 20:35

I didn't baby-talk my children much.

My kittens, on the other hand are "mummy's little squooshems..."

Blush
CorianderQueen · 16/12/2020 20:36

Ffs I do stupid voices to talk to my partner let alone an cute little baby.

He needs to be more tolerant

itsgettingweird · 16/12/2020 20:36

He's a dick and he needs to shut up!

For starters it's important to talk to your child and as they get older you talk them through what your doing so they are aware. Eg time to take your clothes off/ nappy off.

I've never liked just doing stuff to a child without interacting. It's so cold and undignified.

Eckhart · 16/12/2020 20:38

@unicornparty

Butt is an awful word and I'd never say it near a child - I'm in the south.

Op you're being pretty horrid to posters that don't agree with you. I don't get why you'd talk in a baby voice with made up words then re teach your child the proper words to things. That's my opinion that I'm entitled to but you're answering posters that disagree with you in a horrible manner.

But why is it ok for you to say OP is being horrid and that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but what you're criticising OP for is saying that people are being horrid, which is her opinion that she's entitled to?!

What the bejeesus is going on on this thread? It's an ordinary thread, but with an added heavy smattering of people shooting themselves directly in the foot!

parlourpalm · 16/12/2020 20:38

I use proper words but I definitely use an enthusiastic, sing-song voice with my DS. He's actually starting to tone to convey meaning which is very cute and possibly something to do with how we use tone towards him.

EstebanTheMagnificent · 16/12/2020 20:39

Ofcom issue guidance on the the offensiveness of swear words.

‘Arse’ is ‘mild’ (although ‘arsehole’ is ‘medium’).

‘Cock’ is ‘strong’.

‘Butt’ does not feature at all. It is the equivalent of ‘bum’.

DianaT1969 · 16/12/2020 20:39

Long-term the OP and her DH need to remain attracted to each other for the relationship to work. Attraction and respect. She isn't likely to find a man who tells her to "shut up" attractive, and we already know that her non-stop baby voice is irritating him. Rather than feel sad OP, decide if you want to find a middle road where you don't annoy and upset each other.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/12/2020 20:40

So you were entertaining your lovely DS and making him laugh and the two of you were having fun together and you're the one being pathetic?

I'm glad your DH apologised because he was being horrid.

How would he like you to talk to your baby? interview him like you were Jeremy Paxman (actually that could be quite funny).

He doesn't get to dictate how you speak.

LittleBearPad · 16/12/2020 20:41

@livefornaps

Tell your partner that he can shut up, too. By shutting his dick in a door
Bit of an overreaction
Thespidersweb · 16/12/2020 20:41

she did a wee wee in the pot-ty to the conga tune is the best way for potty training. This shizzle works.

As for nurturing a love of the great classics Grin

GoldenOmber · 16/12/2020 20:43

@DianaT1969

Long-term the OP and her DH need to remain attracted to each other for the relationship to work. Attraction and respect. She isn't likely to find a man who tells her to "shut up" attractive, and we already know that her non-stop baby voice is irritating him. Rather than feel sad OP, decide if you want to find a middle road where you don't annoy and upset each other.
Since when was it a 'non-stop baby voice'? And since when was it normal to think to yourself "I hope my husband finds this attractive" when making your baby laugh?

There is some weird stuff on this thread, OP. Don't stress about talking to your baby and I'm sorry your husband is being a wanker about it.

Guts · 16/12/2020 20:46

I baby talk my kitten and DH never tells me to shut up.

Your H is an arse.

Faultymain5 · 16/12/2020 20:51

@JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson

They actually did a study on this?

Yes. It’s important. Lots of people (including on this thread) will tell you they are too sophisticated for such nonsense. That is their problem. There is too little respect for instinctive parenting behaviour (especially that of the mother) but the more it is observed the more important it is recognised to be.

My instinct was not to do it. I’m assuming I’m fine cause I chose to follow them.
happymummy12345 · 16/12/2020 20:52

I hate baby talk and don't see the need or point of it so. Just talk to your baby using proper words

ladycarlotta · 16/12/2020 20:55

'bare butt time' made ME laugh. I can imagine talking nonsense like this to my little one. Moreso when she was tiny, but now she's a young toddler it is SO much fun to get her involved in the nonsense and silliness. I sometimes sing a stupid made-up nappy change song and she nips her fingers in the air like a crab. I mean, it's not Ovid. But it's still great.

More power to you, OP, you have years of fun ahead.

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