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Original poster

To date when pregnant?

562 replies

frabbit · 14/12/2020 19:36

I’m 15 weeks pregnant, single. Father of baby wants to be involved with baby but that’s as far as things go. We don’t see each other outside of scans and appointments, and we barely talk at the moment.

Would it be gross to consider dating? Not looking for financial support or a baby daddy, genuinely just missing the support and companionship, maybe even the attention, of a dating partner. Obviously would be taking things slow. I’ve been chatting to someone and he’s asked me out on a date. If I do go, do I tell him beforehand that I’m pregnant? Or wait to see how the date goes?

What’s the general consensus?

OP posts:
MorganKitten · 15/12/2020 19:56

I know someone who did dating apps while pregnant, the men either thought she was easy and they’d get laid or were freaked out. She did the same as you at not tell them for a while.

But then Heidi Klum and Seal got together when she was pregnant by someone else so you never know.

BigFatLiar · 15/12/2020 19:57

@happystone

Bizawit I don’t know one person in live who thinks like this my daughter and her friends thinks it’s a wind up 18years old. There view gross why would anyone do that respect yourself more there now talking about it on zoom with collage tutor and class all there views very strong can not repeat here you would get your thong in a twist
This is understandable. Our daughters thought it gross when they realised that mum and dad had sex.
Mother2princess · 15/12/2020 20:08

Goodness God tell him your pregnant and be careful who your meeting

MerchantOfVenom · 15/12/2020 20:11

However there's then an interesting double standard when all those posters marriages eventually break down, and you see on the relationships thread they hit the dating scene in their 40s shagging anything in sight. Which is fine then because they've been married and had their children respectably

Gosh, chippy!

When all those relationships eventually break down...? OK..!

And yes, everyone inevitably then comes onto MN to share their post-40s shagging exploits - I can think of, um, no threads like that, but then I don’t spend much time on the relationships board.

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 20:22

@FourPlatinumRings it's there in the post above yours - wherein Sandals19 states:

'It's also naive to think that people, men, their friends, their relatives etc won't judge a woman for having a child outside a relationship (and not even as the result of a previous relationship but fwb or repeated hookups by the sounds of it... And act accordingly.'

Judgy judgy judgy.

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 20:27

Merchant, I've been around on MN for well over a decade, I've seen plenty of threads where the newly divorced/ separated are happily shagging around.

Which is fine, of course, anyone male or female can have sex with as many consenting adults as they like, as often as they like. But it's a complete double standard for posters then to be quite unpleasant towards the OP for both having had sex outside a relationship and conceived a child, and then to be considering some form of dating while pregnant, as though the whole idea of sex outside a relationship is not something that 'nice people' or anyone they might ever come into contact with, might do.

FourPlatinumRings · 15/12/2020 20:30

[quote Grenlei]@FourPlatinumRings it's there in the post above yours - wherein Sandals19 states:

'It's also naive to think that people, men, their friends, their relatives etc won't judge a woman for having a child outside a relationship (and not even as the result of a previous relationship but fwb or repeated hookups by the sounds of it... And act accordingly.'

Judgy judgy judgy.[/quote]
Oh yeah. Didn't see that. Sorry!

AnyFucker · 15/12/2020 20:34

But no one should be meeting anyone new right now, you might have noticed this little pandemic going on?

This thread makes me hanker after a time when Pandemics happened in the 1600's and nobody had ever coined the phrase "social distancing"

BobsYerUnclee · 15/12/2020 20:48

@Sandals19

I’m trying to advise that in OP position she needs to be finding solid people to lean on - not hit the dating scene.

This.

She might strike it lucky with a kind, supportive, solid man .... But the chances are that she won't, you don't need dating issues on top of all the pressures of a pregnancy and new baby.

It's also naive to think that people, men, their friends, their relatives etc won't judge a woman for having a child outside a relationship (and not even as the result of a previous relationship but fwb or repeated hookups by the sounds of it... And act accordingly.

Some poster's belief that it shouldn't be judged, doesnt mean it won't be by many people; and op would need to be aware of it when trying to date, instead of getting "go for it, my so and so met her delightful hubby while pregnant, it's all cool, it's a good idea etc"

This 10000%.

And for an earlier PP, I wasn't the poster who claimed the men she'd be dating could be predators.

I really couldn't care less about consenting adults having casual sex, however, I find it distasteful when a pregnant woman does.

If i were the OP, I'd firstly question why I'm so keen to have companionship after such a short period of time spent alone, whilst pregnant.

happystone · 15/12/2020 20:51

Bookeormimg. People have different views to yourself.we live in a free society I don’t understand way you want to bully.your cjolce

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 21:04

The OP's been single for 4 years, I wouldn't call that a short period of time!

Wheresmykimchi · 15/12/2020 21:06

I don't know why @happystone and @BobsYerUnclee are now writing reasonable comments and telling other posters where they're wrong given their own vile comments Confused we can read back through the thread ...

Wheresmykimchi · 15/12/2020 21:06

@Grenlei

The OP's been single for 4 years, I wouldn't call that a short period of time!
Can't go without a man , apparently Grin
Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:08

Bookeormimg. People have different views to yourself.we live in a free society I don’t understand way you want to bully.your cjolce

@happystone, too much vino hun?

Wheresmykimchi · 15/12/2020 21:09

@Bookworming

Bookeormimg. People have different views to yourself.we live in a free society I don’t understand way you want to bully.your cjolce

@happystone, too much vino hun?

That or desperately trying to backpedal after their own vile comments.
Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:10

Bookeormimg. People have different views to yourself.we live in a free society I don’t understand way you want to bully.your cjolce

Says the ouster that called OP a slapper! You're now pulling the "you're bullying me card"?

Ridiculous!

You've been nasty and you're the bully.

Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:11

*poster not oyster 🙄

happystone · 15/12/2020 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

happystone · 15/12/2020 21:15

Why are you keep talking about slapper?

Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:19

Read back through thread you sound vile . If you have got MH problems them I’m sorry for you.

Stop it @happystone, you are the one discussing this with your daughter and make work colleagues and tell PPs that everyone agrees with you, now that is fucking odd! But you're asking if others have MH issues....... really?

You call me a bully, because I've objected to you calling OP a slapper, you're seriously over invested in this thread and it's YOU that won't accept that it's a free world and others will disagree with you.

Learn another English saying pot kettle black!

Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:20

Why are you keep talking about slapper?

Who?

Me?

happystone · 15/12/2020 21:21

Can’t engage in childish behaviour, hop you get the help you need remeber people have different views Smile

happystone · 15/12/2020 21:23

Just because English is not my first language no need to be racist pot kettle black

Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:23

Can’t engage in childish behaviour, hop you get the help you need remeber people have different views

Remember that calling a woman a slapper is misogynistic clap trap!

👋 👋

Bookworming · 15/12/2020 21:24

Just because English is not my first language no need to be racist pot kettle black

🥱 🥱!