Is DH being U expecting sex?

[Millyay]

I worked late today, finishing at 8.15pm. I'm a commercial cleaner for a large building so it's a physically demanding and tiring job.

I got home at 9pm and rushed my dinner so I could shower and go to bed reasonably early as I have to be up first thing for the nursery run.

When DH asked how my shift was I said " yeah good, although my TMD (chronic pain) is flaring up"

Well no sooner had I said that he suddenly went quiet, like I'd pissed on his cornflakes.

I figured I knew why, because he was hoping for sex.

Sure enough as I'm getting up off the sofa he playfully gropes my bum (that's his indicator, I know!)

With all of this in mind, AIBU to think he's a CF for expecting sex tonight?

I knew as soon as I read the thread title that it would be an abusive relationship
Been there, done that, including the pestering for sex...although thankfully we didn't have kids.
I second contacting Women's Aid. Staying in your current situation is worsening your MH...I'm sure if you explained the full extent of it to SS they would change their minds about DH being a "protective factor".
Even if your MH worsens temporarily as a result of being on your own, you will slowly re-build it when you no longer have an abusive partner in your home all the time.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I don't think you are as trapped as you feel you are, or that you wouldn't cope without him. The situation is different to when he left. This time it will be your decision, and there is immense strength in that.

You cannot stay with him and let your MH and sense of self deteriorate (because it will, like a slow death), just because he won't seek help with his MH problems (sex addiction). And the trust and love has gone anyway. He will destroy you if you stay, whether he means to or just doesn't care.

Womens Aid can help you leave, help you with housing, benefits, liaise with your workplace, support you if SS get involved (no reason they should unless he contacts them). You need to leave in order to recover your MH. Please do it.

It's understandable you feel trapped. Are you able to pay for more therapy? In the short to medium term a therapist might help you to come to terms with the relationship being over (whilst your still in it) and disengage with him, so when you feel strong enough to stop having sex with him you can deal with whatever he chooses to do next. Once you are feeling stronger you will be ready to contact SS to give them the true picture.

Millyay really hope you will speak to Women's Aid.

Yes you should talk to them they’ve helped me enormously

If you don’t to, could a friend call on your behalf?

Tell him he has a pair of hands and to use them unless he is happy to force his partner who he knows is in pain to relieve him. I’ve used similar it’s aggressive but it gives them a shock , some men are selfish and only care about there needs whilst others don’t think. If he is a gem he will run you a bath and tell you to put your feet up. If he is a knobber he will sulk